Friday, May 3, 2013

Friday Haiku

FridayHaiku2

She pulled his finger;

There came a sputtering sound –

Then he was smaller.

Fifty Cent could not

stay away from the crab cakes

now needs Epi-pen.

— Douche Wayne

out of convenience

he used her head as a swab

roids make your ass bleed

— creature

 

 

It puts the bicep

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Steroid hose.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:17 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

**news flash**

Aw man…Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman has died. He was bitten by a spider a year ago and almost had to have his arm amputated; turns out that it also caused undetected long-term damage to his internal organs. He died of liver failure yesterday.

Technically the cause of death was listed as “necrotizing fasciitis”.

Which I believe is also a Slayer song.

Carry on…

**

7:23 am May, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Huge Largeman says,

This is were spider bit me,

now I’m pumped up

7:29 am May, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I cannot think of

Anything funny to write

Too horrifying.

7:34 am May, 3 Manimal said...

Fishnet clad Ogre

Wielding Gold Plated Finger Probe

Bleeth become Gollum

7:46 am May, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Big biceps tiny pecs

Steph laughs but won’t spot for him

Pumpin’ ain’t easy

7:56 am May, 3 UFO Destroyers said...

Gyroscope and her

Monkey hole were soon parted

When his ‘cept farted.

8:09 am May, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Thagg flexes too hard

Aneurysm pops eye out

Sweet! More room for ‘roids

8:21 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

RIP Jeff. That fucking sucks. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

8:23 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Fifty Cent could not

stay away from the crab cakes

now needs Epi-pen.

8:27 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

When those two have sex

She’s like a thin tan condom

Stretched over his junk.

8:28 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

He prolapsed her twat

Just by finger-banging her.

R.I.P., Tightness.

8:29 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

She’s roughly the same

Size, weight as one of his turds;

She’s Doo-Doo Gollum?

8:30 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

If this guy found out

Where Jay Louis lived, Then that’d

Be where he died, too.

8:32 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

After Saruman’s defeat,
The NFL signed on lots
Of the Urak-Hai.
rawr

8:33 am May, 3 DarkSock said...

Friday Haiku died

After RevChad removed the

Monkeyhole Gyro…

8:38 am May, 3 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Once bleeth tried this black

she never went back. Back to

a tight vageen. Yikes !

8:40 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Darksock @ 8:32 FTW

Hobbits-es

8:42 am May, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Can his Ebony

Flesh Hose fit in her basket?

Her fuchsia basket?

8:43 am May, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Chick with fuchsia hair

Will regret her Muleskinning

When she gets the Herp

8:44 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Got confused over

World Wrestling Fed name change;

beat up a panda.

8:51 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Got confused over

new pop idols; thinks Ke$ha

wore dress made of meat.

8:55 am May, 3 creature said...

out of convenience

he used her head as a swab

roids make your ass bleed

8:57 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Got confused over

T.V. singing contests, thinks

Seacrest hosts The Voice.

8:59 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

Cunning bleeth mommy

arm doubles as sketch pad for

budding tatt artist.

9:01 am May, 3 creature said...

when weather turns cold

Ginas two steamy portholes

become handwarmers

9:05 am May, 3 creature said...

when these two hook up

the muted sounds of sex are

rip & tear of flesh

9:11 am May, 3 JG said...

exactly big is this man?

9:11 am May, 3 JG said...

I mean HOW big?

9:19 am May, 3 Doctor Magnifico! said...

Stretched beaver no thang

for ‘roid shrunken schlong

we’ll be back

in the weight room ‘fo long.

9:21 am May, 3 Doctor Magnifico! said...

I’m shit at Haiku

You already know that

Donchu?

9:22 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tatts turned to herpes

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

9:22 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts the bicep

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Steroid hose.

9:24 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Big black Billy has

A wee little willie to

Fill her stink basket,

9:27 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s so skanky I

Wouldn’t fuck her with Et Tu’s

Wandering cock ring.

9:28 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her other boyfriend is

A primordial dwarf. She’d

Likely fuck us all.

9:30 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d fuck that skanky

Looking broad without a dome

Cause that’s how I roll.

9:32 am May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Thanks Mr. Sock for

Giving me time to get my

Haiku on today.

9:34 am May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Roided up douchebag

points and thinks “Did I eat troll

doll last night or what?”

9:35 am May, 3 douchebag1 said...

Lets keep the mocking,

Away from the racial jokes,

And on the douche poo.

.

– Management

9:37 am May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After long workout

Bill Roidman wonders how skank

poon smells worse than him.

9:39 am May, 3 Morbo said...

Red Hulk? Green Hulk? Gray?

Lightweights. Brothabag Hulk is

douchiest around

9:42 am May, 3 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Bleeths next boyfriend asked

“What happened to your vageen?”

Saw this pic. “God no !”

9:47 am May, 3 Morbo said...

Attempt at coitus

ends in tragedy when she’s

dick punted through wall

10:16 am May, 3 Morbo said...

One tat for each man

she’s slept with; next one covers

head to camel toe

10:29 am May, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Butch Meathook Alive!

He is called a Small Soldier

‘Cause of roided tool

10:52 am May, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

you dawg, heard yose pumpt

So I put roids on your roids,

Get ript while you rip

2:11 pm May, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Sneering dark muscles

Impress over-tatted lass

So do shriveled ‘nads

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