Friday, May 17, 2013

Friday Haiku

photo (4) (1)

“Sorry, we don’t stock

Tuxedos for Gorillas…”

Wears shirt to wedding

Anthony never

got off that inflatable

sumo wrasslin’ suit.

— Douche Wayne

Bridal registry

For these two is at Walgreen’s

Pharmacy counter

— DoucheyWallnuts

 

Peter Pumpin’s arms

now too short to wipe his ass

Scent of poo lingers

— Magnum Douche P.I.

The reception was

Elegantly catered by

Twin Labs and MetRx

— Capt. James T. Douche

They spent beaucoup bucks

on getting Nipsey Russell

to officiate.

— Douche Wayne

Their genitals shrink

Whilst other body parts grow

Naked, horror show

— DoucheyWallnuts

I now pronounce you…

Umm… Err… I now pronounce you…

Congrats both of you (nervous laughter)

— Capt. James T. Douche

The clink of empty

Synthol vials was heard from

Behind their Hyundai

— Capt. James T. Douche

Don’t worry Peter

Your new wife understands the

pain of losing balls.

— Shaft Junk

Her penis don’t move

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey hole.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:21 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

“Hulk no get married

until all people have same

right to get married.”

6:24 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Bleethzilla would keep

his balls in a jar, but they

fit in a thimble.

6:27 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

OJ Simpson should

Have killed these two instead of

Nicole and Goldman

6:29 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Anthony never

got off that inflatable

sumo wrasslin’ suit.

6:30 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I now pronounce you…

Umm… Err… I now pronounce you…

Congrats both of you (nervous laughter)

6:30 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Her vagina has

roughly same bite strength as a

Florida gator.

6:32 am May, 17 The Dude said...

Mary’s tits look huge

But not always – why is that?

I will keep staring

6:34 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I am confused here?

Who is fucking who’s tittys

Peter or Mary?

6:34 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He puts Synthol in

Before he gives her the hose

The HGH Hose

6:36 am May, 17 DarkSock said...

s

6:38 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This happy couple

Will have good looking children

Said no one ever

6:39 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Will spend honeymoon

in anaphylactic-shock-

induced comas. Son.

6:41 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Lifestyles of the

Artificially Enhanced”

Now on Douche TV

6:42 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Pictures like this one

Inspire great Friday ‘ku

And make me vomit

6:49 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

They share brassieres and

Syringes for injections

Of all kinds of shit

6:52 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Couple that juices

Together stays together

Spotters for life Pete!

6:59 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

They had their wedding

right in the gym in between

sets. They feel the burn!

7:04 am May, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Peter Pumpin’s arms

now too short to wipe his ass

Scent of poo lingers

7:05 am May, 17 The Dude said...

Pumpinhead’s hands look

Like little nubs, but hey –

Bigger than his peen!

7:07 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The reception was

Elegantly catered by

Twin Labs and MetRx

7:09 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

They spent beaucoup bucks

on getting Nipsey Russell

to officiate.

7:18 am May, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

And in this corner!

Douche Wayne comes out swingin’ with

this friday’s haiku’s

7:22 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

The only place more

inappropriate for jeans

than wedding: ski slope.

7:28 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bridal registry

For these two is at Walgreen’s

Pharmacy counter

7:33 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

In exchange for gifts,

Peter’s newest balloon in

the Macy’s Parade.

7:36 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Bride hasn’t worn white

since the gyroscope was put

in her monkeyhole.

respect

7:38 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Their genitals shrink

Whilst other body parts grow

Naked, horror show

7:41 am May, 17 Captain Infinity said...

Peter Pumpin’head

And Mary Mammageddon

Who has bigger balls?

7:41 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Dowry for bride

included huge tracts of land;

silicone acres.

7:46 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Needles pierce the skin

An act of desperation

“Look at us! We’re big!”

7:48 am May, 17 Troy Tempest said...

peter is the maid

of honour for Mary and

brothabag jimbo

7:53 am May, 17 Douche Wayne said...

Peter is spotting

Mary; she’s about to lift

black anaconda.

7:55 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

CJTD 6:30a FTW.

8:23 am May, 17 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Peter Pumpinhead

First time ever

Head on straight

8:36 am May, 17 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Romantic theme

when old hosebag

becomes best man

8:39 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

Oh no, these two are

off the synthol meat market?!

Said noone ever.

8:41 am May, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

O.J. on parole?

As community service

priest at Waffle House.

8:43 am May, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Who would have thought that

slaughterhouse death chute just big

enough for wedding?

8:44 am May, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

O.J. rethinks his

bid for freedom if it means

wedding to Peter.

8:46 am May, 17 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Drive Thru Wedding Mill

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Plays the reception

8:46 am May, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Peter glad he got

that degree from Bovine U.

as wedding planner.

8:47 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

Damn, those are some nice

big Sanctittays of marriage

Suckle boob, I do!

8:49 am May, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Would it be wrong

to send them a cattle prod

as a wedding gift?

8:50 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The clink of empty

Synthol vials was heard from

Behind their Hyundai

8:55 am May, 17 DarkSock said...

a

8:59 am May, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

At the reception

They will waltz to “Strong Enough”

Which begs the question

9:05 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

Don’t worry Peter

Your new wife understands the

pain of losing balls.

9:07 am May, 17 Vin Douchal said...

I will not Haiku

Had an assfull of these two

Z-List fame seekers

9:10 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

DarkSock phoning it

in with jpeg. If his post

wins I call nepos.

9:14 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

How can we live in

a world where a tranny gets

married before me?

9:14 am May, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Do you, Shriveled Nads

Take Mary Mammageddon

‘Til death do you part?

9:33 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

Something borrowed, some

thing blue? Easy, Mary’s new

vagina is both.

9:33 am May, 17 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Full cast has more ‘bags

Donkey Douche and Zyzz cropped out

Cheetoh Man plays march

9:40 am May, 17 creature said...

answer to question,

“do biceps make hands look small?”

cocck makes them look huge!

9:48 am May, 17 creature said...

wedding for these two

appropriately staged

in a circus tent

9:50 am May, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Slick brotha (respect)

clueless he has arm around

post-op lady boy

9:52 am May, 17 creature said...

shaft junk can marry

one of many persona

troll never lonely!

10:27 am May, 17 Morbo said...

Mary caught bouquet

here, though, hot beef and steroid

injections are prize

10:43 am May, 17 Shaft Junk said...

I will not argue

with you creature, I was raised

to respect elders.

11:02 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her penis don’t move

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey hole.

11:03 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts its penis

In the basket or it gets

The hose, Tranny Hose.

11:03 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Peter has to wear

His wedding ring on penis

Finger are too swole.

11:04 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Marrying trannies

Is legal in Vegas. What

A fucking Country!

11:05 am May, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The wedding night was

Spent talking with old friends and

Old body part, Son.

11:51 am May, 17 DarkSock said...

Look-a-here, Mary;
Here is a woman that has
Perfect boobies. Son.
ew

12:01 pm May, 17 Wheezer said...

The bride is the one…..

…..with the smaller testicles?

This here’s a toss-up…..

12:07 pm May, 17 Wheezer said...

Haiku material?

Priceless. ‘Sock’s Mandy Moore pic?

Drool, stutter, babble.

12:15 pm May, 17 strangdouche said...

is the hyundai a daiwoo

1:15 pm May, 17 DarkSock said...

Diane Lane. Son.

5:23 pm May, 17 Wheezer said...

Diane Lane makes me

drool, and Mandy Moore copies

well. Vin to decide?

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