Friday, May 3, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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On this, the celebratory day of Kisseus Vomitorious’s gym wedding, when his shriveled nads swear undying allegiance to Chick o’ the Day ™, let us bow our heads and pray.

Oh Lord, ye of such awesome and swirling powers of powerfulness, why doest thou create hair grease and orange pec shave?

In a world of sexy nubile hott, why doest thou give them such poor life choices? Is it a lesson? A moral challenge? A test of Job-ian proportions?

Lo. Hark. Alack.

Let us pray. For HoHos.

Here’s your links:

Your Weekly Amazon Buy-Something-And-Support-the-Site Link: “Jelly Baby?”

It’s official: Twinkies and HoHos live! And so does your humb narrator.

The 50 Comedians You Should Know. No sign of the DB1 on the list. I blame my agents.

Speaking of that list, my new favorite comedian is without a doubt Bo Burnham. Genius stuff.

Husband. Father. Plastic Surgeon. Rock Star. Douchebag.

According to FHM, Semitic Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh Mila Kunis is the #1 Sexiest Woman in the World. I can’t disagree, although a write-in vote for the new Doctor Who companion Jenna Louise Coleman, even if she can’t act and this season has been awful so far. Holy Jebus that show has gone off the rails.

Speaking of hot semites (not counting waspy Jenna Louise Coleman), meet Haim. Three hott LA Jewesses. This week, Canter’s Deli. Next week. The Upper West Side.

Is Sideboob Trendy or Trashy? The correct answer is glorious.

From HCwDB’s own Choad the Douche Sprocket: The 66 Greatest Juke Box Songs.

James Hughes, son of legendary Bueller director John Hughes, pens an amazing piece for Grantland on his father’s love of hockey. Well worth a read for how each of us processes our childhood memories and experiences into our adult loyalties, affections, and shared construction of identity.

Okay, ’nuff of all that. Lets get to the Pear.

First up: Brazil’s Best Pear of the Year. But since that’s an article, lets get to the pics. Here ya go:

Rock Solid Pear

And when you speak of me, speak kindly.

# posted by douchebag1
12:53 pm May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Grantland is a great website. As long as Bill Simmons isn’t discussing the NBA. Everything else is a home run.

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Hate to disagree with Db1’s favorite comedian. I gotta go with Jim Jefferies, Australian yarn spinner.

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Try this first Gig in Iraq

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If you’re in, go here:

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Getting his childhood friend with MS laid. This was a plotline on his FX TV show called , “Legit”. Check it out

1:08 pm May, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmm…………….Rock Solid Pear and what looks like some blow wedged in her nostrils.

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Mmmmmm……………….Jewesses

1:09 pm May, 3 creature said...

at KV’s wedding, instead of throwing rice, they threw Lice!

1:10 pm May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Part two of Getting his childhood friend with MS laid.

1:12 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

RSP FTW.

1:35 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

DB1 ftkindness!

2:35 pm May, 3 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Thanks for the shout-out, DB1!

4:08 pm May, 3 creature said...

btw…the 66 juke boxsong list is lame!…if I never hear another beatles song, it wouldn’t be a bad thing…though I will listen to Revolver & Rubber Soul in their entirety (as album rock was designed)…& any list without Crimson & Clover is week (prefer Joan Jett…swear she’s got someones balls tucked into her gash)…author of that article would be beat outta the bars I frequent!

4:09 pm May, 3 creature said...

um…weak…been drinkin already!

6:24 pm May, 3 hermit said...

@ Creature, I’m ok with CTDS’ s list of 66. Music is entirely subjective. I actually related more to the also-ran list. All in all there are probably twenty-five or more that would make my list. Not too bad.

“Take it on the Run” (or anything by Journey) is garbage imho

” Green Onions” and “All Along the Watchtower” are gold. imho

6:49 pm May, 3 creature said...

I hear you hermit…juke boxes can be like chinee buffet…generally have more r&b on my play list, & where’s the reggae (Toots’ Funky Kingston)?

…had missed the benchwarmers as I’m 1/2 in the bag, & while some of the tunes are worthy, less than a dozen would make my top 66…having said that, my neighbours hate me at times, but, not everyone relates to Minor Threat (sadly)

7:53 pm May, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I was voted Mr renoBrenoB 2012. And I don’t care if side boob is trendy or trashy; it gives me wood.

8:10 pm May, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The comedians and juke box suggestions are soothing to the new working brain. Though the neighbourhood children are sad as they come out of hibernation to find that I am not Peter Pan evermore. And may I suggest this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KcdWvCgAas and this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0E0ynyIUsg. And shit. I’m superstoned on some Lenny hash and getting tuned. And how about a young Linda Purl, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dulKvxJf9w

8:47 pm May, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In that Matlock episode ya gotta love the guy with the purple sweatshirt replete with popped collar. Also, the one dame in that scene played one a the villanesses in the one Superman flick with Colonel Zod and the other big ugly mute alien sonofabitch.

10:40 pm May, 3 Guid is Good said...

Who order rimo?

4:38 am May, 4 Douchble Helix said...

No, no, no, Rev. That’s not the *young* Linda Purl.

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*This* is young Linda Purl…

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http://maartenbouw.blogspot.com/2010/05/interview-with-linda-purl.html

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Shark Jumpers.

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(She was on Happy Days.)

4:40 am May, 4 Douchble Helix said...

Goddammit! Scroll down for the much better pic.

4:59 am May, 4 DouchYouWannaDance said...

“LIMO” sign points to:

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Lesbian in Marriage Outfit.

8:58 pm May, 4 Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabbadouche said...

I’m with you on Jenna-Louise Coleman’s hottness, the new season of Doctor Who’s lameness, and Rock Solid Pear’s awesomeness. Ebbs and flows, my man.

8:59 pm May, 4 gdouche said...

Oh the Asian hott, when she realizes what she married……. douche!

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