Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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New name for my site: Fried Beef Moobs with Hot Chicks.

Beefy McMoobwich is sill out there. Still a rejected McDonalds Dollar Menu item.

Still polluting Vegas Bar Hotts like a malignant melanoma made up of body oils, rubbing lotion, and a failed career as a massage therapist after getting cut from the high school wrestling team back in ’96.

Blonde Katie and Brunette Kate are the sun and the moon, my stars and my candelit dinners, and serious butt slappy whipper prod booble tickle pokey poink. Which is, of course, a euphemism for stocking chew. Let it be written, let it be done. For posterity.

And by posterity, I mean posterior. And by posterior, I mean tiger.

Here’s yer links:

Your classic rock CD pick of the week: “Yesterday and days before,

Sun is cold and rain is hot, I know, been that way for all my time, Till forever on it goes, Fill the circle fast and slow, I know, and I can’t stop my wonder.”

Rich ex-Facebook exec keeps working to avoid being a douchebag. I can think of a problem with this premise involving the words “Facebook” and “exec.”

Douchebag or Giant Fluorescent Pink Slug?

Instagram. Where scrotal essence calcifies.

Remember all the good times you had in college getting drunk and high and partying with hotties with perfect bodies? Think you’re being overly melodramatic when you long for those days again? You’re not. They were as good as you remember.

Pretend comedian actual douchebag Russell Brand continues to be a pretentious pseudo-intellectual twat. The core argument may be good, but please put down the fancy words, Russell, before you hurt yourself. You can’t escape your lot in life as a pretty-boy narcissist with nothing to offer but date rapes and AIDS jokes.

Pick-up-Artists vs. Lesbians. A fight worth having.

’nuff of this crap, here’s your pear:

Pensive Beach Walkabout Pear

It may be a repeat from the ‘Sock’s reign of error, but it’s a repeat worth having.

# posted by douchebag1
12:28 pm May, 31 Wheezer said...

Walkabout Pear should be Turnabout Pear and give us another look. Well, fancy that, she did!

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That means she is a wonderful young lady.

12:34 pm May, 31 creature said...

gator?

12:47 pm May, 31 Wheezer said...

That’s not Gator – Gator only leans forward (if at all). It says, “You must look at me and not the surroundings.”

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Of course, there’s always Gator Jr. to haunt our world…..

12:54 pm May, 31 The Dude said...

Wheeze makes an excellent point, as always.

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So does the blonde on the left. I pray for the carpet to match the drapes. It’s Faith. Sons

1:03 pm May, 31 creature said...

thnx wheeze…epic knockers on Gate Jrs white bloused angel…num num!

1:08 pm May, 31 killdoucher said...

russell brand requires a good fishbatting, preferably everyday except the lords day, so as to allow the fishbatter a day of rest!

1:41 pm May, 31 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Beefy McMoobwich, unhand those hotts. Ok, you can keep the blonde, but…no, no, I can’t let you spoil her with your odious scent.

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And yes, McMoobwich, I intend to do deliciously naughty things to the hotts in question. Naughty things, man, naughty things.

1:47 pm May, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Thems some nice bleeths in that there photo.

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Also, why is Bea Arthur’s picture on the cover of John Fogarty’s new 8-Track Tape?

2:14 pm May, 31 creature said...

DW, by mentioning Bea Arthur you will conjur up Pfah!

2:27 pm May, 31 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Let me be the first to prostate myself before our new lesbian overlords.

2:57 pm May, 31 Troy Tempest said...

I think it’s time to eat some lamb.

3:08 pm May, 31 DarkSock said...

FAeGOTHS! sLAPHOARS…

was it TAKE one every six hoars or 6ix evry one HOURS?

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wher e my boat at?

4:00 pm May, 31 Ted Brogan said...

Interesting placement of a tiger’s brown nose.

4:02 pm May, 31 Ted Brogan said...

If you hotlink “removed all of her clothing and was being restrained” to a picture of text, you are an asshole.

6:11 pm May, 31 Douchble Helix said...

Us guys are doomed by this lesbian singularity shit.

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von Neumanns

6:20 am June, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The brunette is giving me the the Mayan Eye of Betty Boop.

7:52 am June, 1 creature said...

what’s with the wallpaper? …looks like r. crumb went buckwild w a berol #2 pencil… which actually would be cool

12:03 pm June, 1 DarkSock said...

stoned and sore is no way to go thru life. Ow.

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SOn

3:06 am June, 2 strangdouche said...

whos daughter?

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