Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Hungover on Thursday…

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Ole’ Tex Wildflower keeps on keepin’ on,

Like an ageless Willie Nelson song,

The ladies in Reno,

Get fondled during Keno,

And Ole’ Tex done beat the Devil all along.

Or, more to the point about your humb narrs:

Rice wine with sushi is a trick,

It seems so benign, yet has a kick,

It goes well with tekka maki,

And with chicken teriyaki,

And the next thing you know I am sick.

# posted by douchebag1
10:53 am May, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ole’ Tex Wildflower smells like poo

Thought he had some on his shoe

Then realized it was time to change his depends

How the smell offends

Only his nurse could stand the foul anal brew

11:02 am May, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Kenny Rogers stunt double

Has a run of financial trouble

Gets job as casino greeter

Thinks she will yodel his aged peter

Realizes his life is pure rubble

11:08 am May, 1 Vin Douchal said...

The saki in Cali is strong

You can drink it all night long

Add a bento box

And some Japanese Lox

Your rectum will sing a wet song

11:12 am May, 1 Douche Wayne said...

There once was this old dude from Texas

who drove a blinged-out lowered Lexus.

Instead of real charm

a Confederate flag tat on his arm

that would wave every time that he flexes.

11:20 am May, 1 creature said...

Ol’ Tex has a tart on his arm

but her cooch will suffer no harm

cuz when she sees his wick

what he calls a dick

is surely no cause for alarm

11:24 am May, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There once was an older creeper

Who found a young Bleeth that was a keeper

Alas, she was paid to pose

Would not take off her clothes

For soon the creeper would be visited by the reaper.

11:35 am May, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

There once was an oldbag with a forehead like a Klingon

Hoping a young fawm would touch his wrinkled old dong

He crooned some whisky breath tunes

He did not realize anytime too soon

That when she dropped her thong her snatch smelled like prawn

11:53 am May, 1 Doctor Magnifico! said...

Spokesperson for the little blue pill, Tex.

Says, “Hey Hombre you’re never too old for sex.

Like a Phoenix from the ashes I rose,

and although she may be paid-to-pose,

she’s ain’t no freakin’ hambeast like my ex”

12:02 pm May, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Db1 , you a fortune teller?

It’s Wednesday , ya mixed up feller

If you can see ahead

Santa Anita picks instead

Would make you a happy drunk yeller

12:05 pm May, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

There once was a choad named Sprocket

Who lived to insult douches on this docket

Upon opening this day

He saw his visage on display

With a bleeth who’s his favorite crotch rocket

12:40 pm May, 1 Douchble Helix said...

She may be older than him.

.

Just sayin’.

.

Poets.

1:04 pm May, 1 creature said...

Ol’ Tex drank a jug of sangria

then ran into this gal named Maria

for a small pile of dough

she gave Tex a throw

& a burning case of gonorrhea

1:12 pm May, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There was once a man who new art

He attempted to be set apart

But his nostril now drool

Like a pastafazool

And he breath smells like Dark Sock’s fart.

1:24 pm May, 1 The Dude said...

I’m startin’ to like that Ole Tex

’cause he’s been writin’ bad checks

to get in the panties

of chicks clad quite scanty

At his age who cares if he wrecks?

.

What day is it?

1:36 pm May, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

There once was an oldbag cowboy named Tex

Met a younger latin bleeth with the lure of hot sex

He wined her and dined her

Bought her bling and a fur

But when it came time to consumate the romance

Tex found a huge cock in bleeth’s pants.

2:20 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On the last Allman Brother’s tour

Old Gregg became quite a bore

He laid off the booze

And started to schmooze

With Bleeths like this old whore

3:39 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Old Bag was a Rambling Man

Who liked to bang dames in his van

Don’t come a knockin

When his truck was rockin

Whilst he was givin it to her in the can

8:52 pm May, 1 CG said...

at the after party of Battlefield Earth

maybe three years from his ride in a hirst

budget Eva Mendez smiles

in awe like a child

seeing a forehead of such ridiculous girth

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