Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Truth in Advertising: The New Dove Soap Commercial

FridayHaiku

So the ad wizards that peddle premium soap by peddling Oprah porn are rolling out a bunch of pseudo-honest claptrap designed to blame society for making women feel bad about their self image.

Oh how sad! They think they look one way, but then when an entirely objective sketch artist (in no way biased by the agenda of the ad agency paying him) draws another sketch based on a witness (in no way biased by the agenda of the ad agency paying her), she looks way more pretty.

This, of course, means something something.

In reality?

Who gives a crap what we think we look like?

Take a look at this pic, Dove Advertising Agency! And then lick my scrotundae.

This pic is the real America, baby.

The rest is selling something.

# posted by douchebag1
1:30 pm May, 1 creature said...

…Tulsa woman smothered & crushed by husband during awkward sexual tryst…news at 5:00

1:45 pm May, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Horse sex gets ugly when mare queefs mid-coitus…news at 5:00

1:56 pm May, 1 Wheezer said...

For his part, Happy John Largeman can sure…..pull some tail.

.

Now please put on a shirt.

2:01 pm May, 1 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Reminds me of the photo of the dude with the filthy doorframe. But this time he has gained weight,grown a beard and used some 409 on the doorframe.

2:14 pm May, 1 Wheezer said...

Sure it’s from last summer’s family reunion, but “we wuz jus’ goin’ swimmin’. We warn’t doin’ nuthin’.”

2:23 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He’s giving the Mayan Eye of Oops I Crapped My Pants.

.

She’s giving the Mayan Eye of I Just Experienced the Onset of Menarche.

2:25 pm May, 1 creature said...

women berrates husband for eating baby…news at 5:00

2:27 pm May, 1 creature said...

Brah’s step sister chugs a tasty beverage after inflating plus sized sasquatch doll…news at 5:00

2:30 pm May, 1 Wheezer said...

@DW:

.

“The Menarchian Chronicles”?

2:41 pm May, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Yep. Thought of that same grimy-ass door.

.

Was that Shithouse, or someone else famous?

2:54 pm May, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Using soda bottle as sexual device gives West Virginia cousins nasty rash….news at 5:00.

3:00 pm May, 1 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Gadzooks!

3:05 pm May, 1 Vin Douchal said...

She’s screaming, “NEVER sneeze when eating my box during ‘Red Tide’ ! ! “

3:08 pm May, 1 creature said...

bearded orca walks on fins, eats scantilly clad domestic housekeeper…news at 5:00

3:10 pm May, 1 creature said...

soda pop enema fails to cleanse hambeast…news at 5:00

3:11 pm May, 1 creature said...

man boasts of eating womans leisure suit…news at 5:00

3:19 pm May, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Breaking: Bath salts-soaked tampons found to be latest sex-toy fad in Waxahachie….news at 5:00.

3:21 pm May, 1 Ted Brogan said...

I’m mildly fascinated with this broad.

3:29 pm May, 1 DarkSock said...

Say what you will about this dude – he knows how to party.
sasquatch
.

3:31 pm May, 1 DarkSock said...

I am also fascinated by his mini-woman.

.

You look hard enough, you can see bush.

3:32 pm May, 1 The Dude said...

Is that the guy from the Southern Comfort commercial?

3:48 pm May, 1 DarkSock said...

“WELCOME TO THE JOHN LARGEMAN ABORTION CLINIC…HOW MAY WE HELP YOUUU?!?!”

4:35 pm May, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That is no beer gut. That, my friends, is a deer gut!

6:29 pm May, 1 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@DH at 2:41 When was Shithouse ever famous?

6:31 pm May, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Aw, heck. I dunno. “Infamous”, maybe?

6:52 pm May, 1 Morbo said...

See, kids, this is a prime example of why you should keep to yourself when you hear strange sounds and screaming through the thin walls at Motel 6.

Five minutes before this picture was taken, we had one semi-dismembered prostitute.

Then some poor college kid on spring break thought it’d be funny to bust up in there and document the proceedings. Now we have a semi-dismembered prostitute AND a semi-dismembered college kid. Vera and Merle here will play with their bones and wear their faces as ski caps.

Who’s laughing now, college kid?

8:01 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She drives a Mercury Menarch.

.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1977_Mercury_Monarch_5.0_coupé.jpg

8:08 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Woman has tits, so does man! Film at 11.”

8:09 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. So is this fat fuck.

8:11 pm May, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Honey, I can’t believe my hemorrhoid burst just as you were rimming me!”

8:19 pm May, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Daddy?

1:59 am May, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...

These two in their most debauched and machinery-centered sexual escapades pale in comparison to some of the porn that I, and I’m sure the Rev CK, have both seen and own on VHS.

.

I thought only the Baron could think up a horror story about an abortionist named “Kermit” hacking up live-born babies and stashing their body parts in freezers. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2316784/Kermit-Gosnell-House-horrors-abortionists-defense-closes-insisting-jury-manipulated-stories-moving-breathing-babies.html

.

Hmmmm…Idea for a new feature at this year’s Fright Town, Mr. Von Gooloo?

2:05 am May, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And yeah…you can see bush.

.

Along with his meathook hands, the period blood smeared all over her partially naked body, explain the look of abject horror on her face.

5:26 am May, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I found the bush.

8:09 am May, 2 Ted Brogan said...

Zoom in. Enhance!

7:52 pm May, 2 theDumples said...

BEEEEANSSSS!!!!

http://beeaannss.blogspot.ca/

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