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Wallnuts After Dark: More American Idol: Madonna Mia, What's With Mariahs's Jugs and the Other Chick's Wigs?

I was readin’ on the computer that the American Idol as been gettin bad ratins this year and that they’s even gettin’ beat by that show about them country hicks that make the fake ducks outta wood that hunters use and that people use for decorations. And shit.

I been watchin’ that Idol show and I think I got it figured out in that more people get turned off by that one chick’s wigs and what comes outta her pie hole then wanna watch the show to see Mariah’s Puppies. Mariah’s Puppies, I says.

They could fix that ratins problem by callin’ the show, “Mariah’s Jugs,” and proppin’ up them pups good and proper for alls to see. See, people will watch singers, cute girls and all a that, but a real crowd will form to see a famous dame’s Nuhood’s. Look that one up in your Funk and Wagnalls. Funk and Wagnalls, I says.

Now on the other hand they gotta shut that other broad up. She’s a real dolore nel culo. Plus I never trust a dame who’s hair color changes every day. Na mean?

Back in the day the Gambinos, who was controlled by the Meyer Lansky operation, woulda paid a visit to the involved parties and took care a business. Like when Jack Paar was the host a the Tonight Show. He was a real intellectual type but was as boring as a Sunday Sermon and who the Fucc wants to watch that?

So one a the Lansky machers calls Carlo Gambino and before you can say Pasta con Sarde, Parr is out and Carson is in. Pasta con Sarde, I says.

Now I been outta the game for a bisel time (look it up, goyishers), but I’m pretty sure there’s a similar concern amongst certain family types for which a change would behoove them. Behoove, I says.

So if Idol wants to turn things around they should get rid a that one dame with the wigs and annoying voice and make the show all about Mariah’s ninns.