Friday, June 7, 2013
Friday Haiku
Seth found a hooker
So he could make his sex tape.
Seth’s quite literal.
Raggedy Andy
Tried to replace Anne’s stuffing;
taped up monkey hole.
— Douche Wayne
She looks groovy but
I wonder if the carpet
Matches the tape. Son.
— The Dude
what Seth does not know
that it takes two rolls of tape
to plug her bung hole
— creature
The strip club from TRON
Is so much less appealing
when the lights are on
— Charles Douchewin
She wears the pasties
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“What to wear tonight?”
Trixie axed herself. “I know!”
“Where’s that roll of tape?”
— DoucheyWallnuts
Seth will learn too late
that tape is often used by
pre-surg transgenders
— Jacques Doucheteau
Raggedy Andy
Tried to replace Anne’s stuffing;
taped up monkey hole.
“Just a few more strips
on her mouth will do the trick.”
Thought young John Gacy.
If she stands too close
to a magnet she forgets
her name for a week.
All the extra tape
distracts from the piece keeping
“her” schwantz out of sight.
She looks groovy but
I wonder if the carpet
Matches the tape. Son.
Electrical tape
Holds boobies so Seth doesn’t
Break his arm again
Vaggy landing strip
Vaggy landing strip
Applied for newbies party
Like sex training wheels
Tape on the Snapper
Is better than a piecing
Hurts to take off, though
If you lick her in
the right order, you can hear
“Stairway” played backwards.
Saulgoode at 747 wins.
To earn his Women’s
Studies credit, Seth interned
at The Cheetah Club.
Not only did he
earn life experience, he
earned dose of the clap.
Seth used electric
Tape, ’cause she wanted to bolt.
Now she’s stuck on him
Seth thought he had scored
tape removal seemed sexy
glue sealed up her vag
Seth wore a broad grin
on his return from Vegas
with sticky wicket
Seth Green’s jewfro
Lifts street cred in Tel Aviv
It now stands at nil
what Seth does not know
that it takes two rolls of tape
to plug her bung hole
The strip club from TRON
Is so much less appealing
when the lights are on
Paradoxically
tape illustrates fastest path
to her monkey hole
Seth’s Project Runway
Creation turns terrible.
Sliced hand on scissors.
I am not sure I
Can improve on the subtle
genius of Douche Wayne.
with her downcast eyes
she scours the floor for change
and her dignity
^Douche Wayne 7:49
Bolt ons or Tape ons?
Don’t matter a bit to me
I have a renoB
I think that left nip
Is giving Eye of Coitus.
Tape’s giving her rash.
the fancy taping
covers up dings & bruises
prevents pus seapage
Seth’s plan to bag her
Did not stick, as his Carpal
Tunnel flared badly.
practical tape use
combines both art & function
to seal in discharges
Electrical tape
who knew you
were so versatile?
“I like them dirty,”
Seth says. “She needs a mikvah,”
Seth’s Mom says. Mazel!
She wears the pasties
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
“What to wear tonight?”
Trixie axed herself. “I know!”
“Where’s that roll of tape?”
Red headed Jew boys
Have a tough time getting laid
This picture won’t help
@ Charles Douchewin
Any reference to TRON is a win in my book. And I thank you.
One more strip of tape
Donatella Versace
Defamation Suit
Poor Kyle Broflovski.
Without Stan as his wingman,
resorts to hookers.
Bayside High Party
Screech macks on paid to pose, but
has been caught on tape
Stripper is forlorn
Design student’s art project
Tape hurts when yank’d off
Jersey boys love to
pinstripe their rides; Seth takes it
to whole new level.
She wears the black tape
To keep that gyroscope thing
In her Monkeyhole
The last time I saw
that much tape on curves like that
was a Dodge Charger.
Tesla’s mythic anti-
gravity device works well
Says Shia Ladouche
Tape mostly for show
But vag tape serves bunny well
To hold in Hef spunk
Seth will learn too late
that tape is often used by
pre-surg transgenders
The tape on her boobs
Keeps them from leaking all out
The same with her cootch
Should have used duct tape
Stronger adhesive works good
on sealing HVAG
Electrical tape
Works like a stencil pattern
When spackled by Hef
Ginger kid feels great
Like he scored big while she eyes
His friend’s large package
Have you tried the trick,
putting tape on a balloon?
Prick it, it don’t pop!
It puts the nipples
In the basket or it gets
The hose. The tape hose.
Seth got confused when
“Kim” told him to hold tape.
Now stuck in reach around.
Her tape should be saved
For the 2023
Guggenheim freak show
Carole King the Third
Exassperated, says again,
“It’s true, I’m a chick.”
Seth’s Real Doll all good
now that he stopped using duct
tape. It really chafed.
Seth tries to pick up
hooker just so he can get
tape to fix glasses.
Twenty twenty three.
Will the future be bag’ free?
Not a fu@*ing chance!
Club Cheetah girls can
smell fresh bar mitzvah money
a mile away, son !
Candy’s ex was an
electrician. Pays the child
support in black tape
His carpal tunnel
Excuse for trying pattern
Over and over
Dyeing hair to match
dress shirt; second worst fashion
mistake in picture
“So, you’re NOT the guy
in the Austin Powers films?”
Candy turns away.
Black tape inventor
Rolling in grave with renoB
Or glad that he’s dead
I just woke up. Son.
Codeine’s a hell of a drug.
Time for my nap. Son.
^ Darksock FTW.