Thursday, June 13, 2013

Hallmark's "Say it With Donk"

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HCwDB is branching out into the greeting card business. I anticipate this becoming a best seller.

Suggest your best inside-card slogans to pitch our first line of cards, “Say it With Donk.”

EDIT:  Here’s our leading contenders:

“The burning is only temporary. I promise.” – Ted Brogan

“Hope the tests come back negative.” – Guid is Good

“I’m sorry the bone disease has spread to your left arm.” – FredN.

“Sorry about your grandma dying or some junk. Ummm I’m sure she’s with Jesus or Buddha or whatever. Anyway, uhhh, uhhh, crap why is this so hard??? Whatevs, Hallmark cards are for fags anyway!” – Capt. James T. Douche

“Congratulations! I heard you made bail!” – Scooby Douche

“Happy Fathers Day

Whoever you are” – Creature

“Thanks for the best sex I’ve had since prison!” – DoucheyWallnuts

“Happy Birthday! I got you a bracelet. It matches the one my parole officer put on me for home monitoring.” – Magnum Douche P.I.

# posted by douchebag1
7:19 am June, 13 saulgoode42 said...

“My other boner is also a chick.”

7:20 am June, 13 Ted Brogan said...

“Employ Me” ??

7:20 am June, 13 Ted Brogan said...

Scoliosis is a bitch.

7:21 am June, 13 FredN. said...

For when your father dies a lonely death (while you’re clubbing it up til the early dawn), and you need to convince the family the cash-stream shant be cut off, “Say It With Donk”

7:23 am June, 13 Ted Brogan said...

The burning is only temporary. I promise.

7:27 am June, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“HEY BABY. YOU LIKE MY BACK TATTS, WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY SNEAKER COLLECTION. BODIES A CANVAS BITCH! NEVER LAUGH AT THE MYZZ AGAIN. BEHOLD THE DARKNESS.”

7:28 am June, 13 Guid is Good said...

Hope the tests come back negative.

7:31 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Chin up bro, It’s only gay if he came in you.

7:31 am June, 13 FredN. said...

“I’m sorry the bone disease has spread to your left arm.”

7:34 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Congrats on your first neck tatt!

7:36 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Expressing condolences on the loss of your loved one due to an unfortunate tanning bed accident.

7:38 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Sorry you have to go to prison now, remember if it feels like more than 2 fingers it’s probably a dick.

7:41 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Here’s to a successful gender reassignment.

7:53 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“Sorry about your grandma dying or some junk. Ummm I’m sure she’s with Jesus or Buddha or whatever. Anyway, uhhh, uhhh, crap why is this so hard??? Whatevs, Hallmark cards are for fags anyway!”

Fist pumps and VIP access,

The Donk

7:59 am June, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Sorry you have ugly feet…

XOXO

The Donk

8:20 am June, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“Sorry I missed our anniversary cause I was in jail awaiting trial on my drug dealing / armed violence / bomb in my belt charges. Fucking cops !”

8:22 am June, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“Sorry I gave you Hepatitis C. Those prison tattoo artists don’t keep the needles too clean”

8:26 am June, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“Happy Birthday ! I got you a bracelet. It matches the one my parole officer put on me for home monitoring.”

8:35 am June, 13 FredN. said...

[opens the card]

.

“Beg to differ! Attitude and being one of a kind sets u apart from the masses and brings u opportunity and opens doors due to the increased attention! Nobody wants NORMAL, for normal is boring! If I can express my inner self by tattoos and draw attention and positive energy to my self everyday then I turned myself into a PRICELESS BILLBOARD TO ADVERTISE MYSELF! That is winning! But they key is to keep it classy and spend the $$ on good ink and keep ur CANVAS in gladiator shape year round! Haha”

.

(his actual FB comment to all the haterz our there)

8:37 am June, 13 Dickie Fingers said...

The Donk is really taking a pounding here. Probably reminds him of the good times he had on cell block D.

8:55 am June, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

God must love unemployable douche-spigots. He made so many of them.

8:58 am June, 13 Scooby Douche said...

“Congratulations! I heard you made bail!”

8:58 am June, 13 Scooby Douche said...

“My condolences on running out of Slick Lube”

8:59 am June, 13 Scooby Douche said...

“Never take the public defender”

8:59 am June, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Happy first semi-consensual anal mang-bang!

Love,

Mom

9:13 am June, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

What’s your name again?

9:17 am June, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I shaved my twat for this?

9:18 am June, 13 creature said...

“whether accessorizin’ your hand bags & kicks

…..rippin’ your canvas or gettin’ a mani-pedi, keep it classy…

.

.

& always, Do it like The Donk!”

9:21 am June, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Thanks for the best sex I’ve had since prison!

9:21 am June, 13 creature said...

…one man’s creepy Is another cat’s cool

.

Heee Haaaw

.

Do the Donk!

9:24 am June, 13 creature said...

don’t let your parole violation get ya down

.

you’ll be back on the street by labour day

9:26 am June, 13 creature said...

In Cook County Corrections

.

they call it ‘Donkee Style’

.

Hee Haw….Do the Donk!

9:28 am June, 13 creature said...

….Ye’ll know how to treat your bitches better

.

…once you’ve had a dick inya!

9:36 am June, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Congrats! Your lats are pumped, dude

9:38 am June, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Some chicks like a bent dick, just think of yourself as “ewneek”, uh, “yoonieke” uh, “eunich”, uh,…… hold on , asking for help,….. oh! “UNIQUE”

.

Chin up, bra. Fist pump

9:46 am June, 13 creature said...

If you come from the school of hard nocks

.

consider yoooself lucky

.

it aint the school of hard cocks!

9:46 am June, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Nice Rack! Good call on the boob job

9:48 am June, 13 creature said...

Happy Fathers Day

.

whoever you are

9:54 am June, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Roses Are Red

Violets Are Blue

I Just Blew My Wad

Thank you

9:54 am June, 13 Johnny Applesack said...

I’ve found my soul mate….

We both have sweet tits!

-Just Donk It

9:58 am June, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Of all the words of tongue and pen

My favorite are, “I’d fuck you again.”

10:01 am June, 13 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Keep your feet clean and don’t forget your nice purse, mama… I’m gonna give you both inches of lovin’!!

11:16 am June, 13 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

“Holiday best to all of yours, from all of ours: our vapid, coke burned brains, uber-tatted epedermi, silicon enhanced fakies, and one very loose, over-used jailhouse rectum.

Signed,

Mr. and Mizz Donkey Douche

12:04 pm June, 13 Douchble Helix said...

Those who can, Ink.

Those who cannot, Draw Greeting Cards?

10:31 pm June, 13 DarkSock said...

Thanks for letting me crush your twat. Bitch.

10:34 pm June, 13 DarkSock said...

“Can I have that $20 Gramma gave you for your birthday?”

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