Monday, June 17, 2013

Herpster Juan Assholio Macks on Hottie Suckle Lauren

photo (11)

There are many flavors of herpster rotting the cultural discourse in these lo herspterian times.

Having once lived in Los Feliz, directly adjacent to Herpster Mecca, I have seen more than a lifetime’s worth of handlebar mustaches, artisanal cheese shops, and jorts.

My current status as a homeowner in the low lying hills of Sherman Oaks has cast me to the pit of suburban Valley sun dappled spiritual malaise.

But that is a story for another time.

For now we mock Herspter Juan Assholio.

For all the rank putritude of his everything.

And we honor the sweet smile perfection of Hottie Suckle Lauren. For she is the cheerleader dreams that resides within us all, man, woman, fowl and beast alike.

# posted by douchebag1
1:39 pm June, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

Ok, I’ve scrutinized this picture, and I don’t see a herpster.

1:41 pm June, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

Still looking.

1:41 pm June, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

YO! There it is.

.

United Colors of Anachronism.

1:46 pm June, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

Yo, Juan!

The 1880’s called for their mustache, the 1920’s called for their hat, the 70’s for their shirt, and…

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You know, look at that luck, I wanna give him a Notta and goinpeace.

2:05 pm June, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Isn’t that television’s Earl?

2:08 pm June, 17 strangdouche said...

630 massive virgina

2:50 pm June, 17 strangdouche said...

i went to work once and all i got was the clap……..plus a shitty billboard

3:01 pm June, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How did Dark Sock pause the internet for the Mazola commercial? And I’d like to be face raped by the blonde.

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http://www.bbwcult.com/pictures/solo/bbw-dreams/bbw-beauty-flaunts-her-extra-curves/?id=bc-bravo

3:02 pm June, 17 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Juan does not bother me….for he is a happy herpster/douche.

.

.

.She might bother me in all the right ways….were it not for her bottle-blonde-ness and association with this tool.

.

.On the whole, though, we’re inclined to give them both a goinpeace…as we look forward to some epic pear and boobies on this site to celebrate the summer solstice….or whatever the fuck is going on in our solar system.

5:14 pm June, 17 The Dude said...

Notta. Groin Peace.

5:25 pm June, 17 Guid is Good said...

Somewhere in Vegas a gondola sits idle.

6:25 pm June, 17 Ted Brogan said...

Is that the Incan eye of fellatio? Good for him…

6:33 pm June, 17 Morbo said...

Lauren will soon be eating a burrito, and Juan a taco.

Then they’ll head home and have sex.

What? Not everything has to be a dirty joke, people. Get your minds out of the gutter.

6:40 pm June, 17 The Dude said...

Douchewin’s a fukn genius up there at the top four posts.

7:32 pm June, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Instagram did its best, but I have a hunch nothing can make Hottie Suckle Lauren look bad. Not even Juan Assholio.

8:46 pm June, 17 creature said...

Boss, you’re a val? say it aint so joe…say it aint so!

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now all i wanna do is stab juan in the thorax with a giant splinter!….& scream move to sherman oaks, you steaming pyle of polecat scat!

8:49 pm June, 17 creature said...

I had a drink in a sherman oaks bar once…I went home & repeatedly slammed myself in the temple with a shattered fungo…tho, I as drunk

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& hoorney

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hoorney says I!

9:12 pm June, 17 killdoucher said...

batonga batonga batongaville. that is all, peace be upon juan!

6:13 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Sorry but I despise all Hipsters, no exceptions.

.

This technicolor yawn should be beaten with his own feces.

7:05 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Also let it be known that Mary Steenburgen, actress and former wife of Malcom McDowell, has nice MILF-y cans.
boobs

7:06 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

I may get to meet Malcolm McDowell tomorrow. Long story.

.

I’ma ask him about them cans.

4:13 pm June, 18 Wheezer said...

Gallagher would love to smash Lauren’s melons.

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And I’m with ‘Sock re: Mary Steenburgen.

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