Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Justin Bieberbag is Harmonic Mellonic Douchebloat

justin-bieber-miami-heat-game-7-00-600x450

File this one under obvious-to-the-point-of-redundant-irrelevance, but since I like to pretend to have topicality around here every once in awhile, let us take a moment and collectively mock this imbecelic boy-child and his continuation of he worst of late 2000s douche culture under the guise of irreverent youth.

For the full story of this harmonic mellonic douchebloat, here’s the summary over at the Superficial.

# posted by douchebag1
12:59 pm June, 4 bigphatnotadouche said...

Big Canadian Douche – there is nothing else I can say.

2:13 pm June, 4 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

And in other equally shocking news:

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/5/9998179_e9bd305dc3_z.jpg?zz=1

2:14 pm June, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Forgettable music by a You Tube all star mixed into a massive hype machine designed to perk up prepubescent teen girls’ loins = Flavor of the Week Performer.

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Real talent shines through. Previous example of teen star gone good, Justin Timberlake. Not gonna happen here.

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Beiber’s flame is extinguishing soon. Get ready for Dr Drew, bitch

2:32 pm June, 4 Wheezer said...

Bieberchoad is one who is likely to contact John Mayerbag when he decides it’s time to “grow up.” (gag)

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Just you wait. That epic meeting of douchewank cannot be far off now…..and we will have oodles of material to mock.

2:34 pm June, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Justin Timberlake grew up good. He’s the new Gene Kelly. That Bieber fuck, shit I’m glad my girls saw a video of him eating Selena’s turd. They hate him. And by hate I mean I’m grateful to the greaat Allah for providing me with solace, and great weed. Son.

3:05 pm June, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

In like 5 years this kid will be doing gay porn.

3:33 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

meh, Bieber was good on SNL, I say cut him some slack. By which I mean ‘Sock!!~! Share and share a like dude!!

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Flotsam

4:12 pm June, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I cannot wait for the inevitable OD, breakdown, loss of voice, aging process, loss of fortune and Behind the Music special.

4:25 pm June, 4 eyedouche said...

DoucheyWallnuts – My thoughts exactly, and my eternal respect for voicing them so eloquently before I thought of them.

4:47 pm June, 4 eyedouche said...

Bi-purpose Beebs. He’ll get busted fro smoking train wreck and become a train wreck. Bi-purpose.

He’ll be traded hourly for a pack of Lucky Strikes in the county clink.

Selena Gomez will report she contracted oral cancer HPV when she went down on him and found a vag.

Michael Douglas, who also has HPV, will reprise his role from “Behind the Candleabra” with “Behind the Beebs” with Matt Damon again receiving.

Tragically, Douglas wins the Academy Award posthumously.

4:58 pm June, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck Liberace! he’s the reason I didn’t learn to play piano. And while on the subject, Three boobed women.

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http://superbooyah.com/index.php/Home/Galleries/Girls/The-15-Greatest-Photos-Of-Girls-With-Three-Boobs.html

5:30 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

uhm, straight guys are douchey because they spray Axe and wear girlie jeans and fwip their hair up like Liberace.

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Liberace was gay, and a really good pianist/showperson

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There’s a Liza Minelli notta-pass in there somewhere.

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Actually, I never liked Liberace’s overdone crap, but that’s just my opinion. And no, I won’t go down on Michael Douglas’ wife, Zeta-whatsername

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Human Douchelloma Virus

5:56 pm June, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

That man sure could tickle the ivories… amongst other things.

7:01 pm June, 4 Guid is Good said...

The Bieb looks as bad ass as a 15yo hairdresser’s apprentice.

8:16 pm June, 4 DarkSock said...

His head looks like a Jiffy Pop.

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Let’s split it open now.

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Binge- Monkeys.

8:32 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Yeah, if Biebie got popped no way would I care….

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‘Sock is alive!!! The fight survives! I always use Binge™ as my Search Monkey.

9:01 pm June, 4 killdoucher said...

JB should have changed his name to kurt pervis or brock strassman!

10:07 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Stock Brassman

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name changers

10:08 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Bustin’ Jeeber

10:08 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Bieberhosen

10:09 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Lederbiebs

10:09 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Biebstücke

10:35 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Bieber Damn

10:35 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Justin Bieberlake

10:37 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Justin Timbieber

10:38 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Justim Bieberlake

10:39 pm June, 4 DarkSock said...

Winona had a Big Brown Beiber

11:20 pm June, 4 creature said...

Keyshawn Johnson is gonna bust up his punk ass, then, he’ll be done

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as for black bear

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http://www.imposemagazine.com/photos/inside-demi-moores-vagina-nsfw

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sorry

6:38 am June, 9 Wheezer said...

I just fell in love with Danielle Fishel:

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[ Danielle Fishel ✔ @daniellefishel

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This astronaut should have taken his helmet off at the game. pic.twitter.com/Iw0vAZyJLT

11:12 PM – 3 Jun 2013 ]

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Also, there’s this:

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http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/dish/201306/what-its-sit-next-justin-bieber

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The little gal sitting next to him pretty much confirmed his asshat status:

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[“I mean, I was freaking out,” Haleigh said of her reaction when she found out Bieber would be sitting next to her for the game. “I’m not like an obsessed fan, but obviously it’s Justin Bieber. I attempted to talk to him, but he wasn’t feeling it.”

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Haleigh told the Miami Herald that the multi-platinum 19-year-old refused to be photographed until someone brought over a Miami Heat dancer. She tried to strike up conversations throughout the game, but they didn’t go very far. “It was just really uncomfortable,” she said.]

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