Monday, July 15, 2013

Dear Sophie

Could be Love

Dear Sophie,

You are the mellifluous lute player that haunts my carnal carnations. How your bucktooth smile, lack of stable job, and general confusion when watching Wheel of Fortune (“What’s with all the letters?”) are no match for the loinal desire of my inner sixteen year old’s hormonal crack attack. I appreciate your potential for supremly divine pokal prodal, and do not judge your obsession with Skrillex. Well, maybe I do a little.

With love, unearned respect, and my deepest affected affections through verbal affectation,

– DB1

# posted by douchebag1
4:54 pm July, 15 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This is the kind of girl that goes for guys that look like Orville Redenbacher, so long as the have at least 2 billion banked, and they are too old and/or sickly to get it up anymore. The best a guy like me can hope for is that she takes a liking to my girlfriend and the two of them let me participate… and by participate I mean whimper to myself from the next room while I listen in.

4:59 pm July, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Backwards Ball Cap McGees facial expression says it all and by says it all I bet she’s got a great ace. I approve of BBCM and his appreciation of Sophies hind quarters.

5:05 pm July, 15 The Dude said...

I bet she can hold that expression in a bukkake.

5:06 pm July, 15 The Dude said...

I’d shoot my load through her fake glasses.

5:11 pm July, 15 The Dude said...

BBCM’s eyebrows have hard ons.

5:12 pm July, 15 Douchble Helix said...

♪♫DB1 and Sophie/

♪♫Sitting in a tree♪♫

5:25 pm July, 15 Guid is Good said...

Racktacular.

5:39 pm July, 15 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Ah Hell. Someone has to say it.

.

Boobies!!!!

.

.

.

Son.

6:11 pm July, 15 creature said...

ps, can I rub bacon grease on your canned hams

6:54 pm July, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She spits spermazoa through the tooth gap she self-conciously hides. She likes guys that don’t stare at her horrifying smile and stare at her rack and tramp stamp while pounding her from behind to avoid her ravaging rake of a smile. We call em rakers around these premises, Son. And you tell your friends about the raking and shit. And shit.

7:03 pm July, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t know what Skrillex is but it was almost killed with fire. Greasy dirty hipsters.

.

http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/17/skrillex-hair-fire-birthday-hollywood-video/

9:11 pm July, 15 The Dude said...

Is this Nikita von James?

4:41 am July, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As a glass half empty kind of guy, I’m thinking Backward Hat Douche might be expressing dismay that her hindquarters look they were manufactured at a Breakstone Cottage Cheese factory and her Tramp Stamp tattoo of Steve-O (respect) has fallen into her ass.

4:42 am July, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Also, she looks like she’s a cunt.

6:36 am July, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hello, Sophie, hello girls! It is always nice to speak the rack twins.

2:19 pm July, 17 huh said...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4535518/?ref_=sr_3

9:03 pm July, 17 Sophie said...

Yea, that’s a pic of me….I don’t have a gap, I had braces when I was a kid, I’m not even with the guy in the pic he must have been standing behind me, I’m 107 lbs so I’m pretty sure that I don’t have a cottage cheese ass, and I also have 4 college degrees so I’m pretty sure that I can read, etc. Now find something fucking better to do…My name’s also not Sophie but that’s fine you fucked it up on this site anyway.

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