Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

FK ME

Joey’s Bikini and Speedo Party. Cleveland, Ohio. February.

Where even Clorox dares not to scrub.

Speaking of violent dismemberment, Sharknado was everything that I thought it could be and more. This interview with the writer of Sharknado, naturally a hipster Jew named Thunder Levin, is one of the greatest things ever written. I feel satiated. And anticipatory of shark week. So I got that going for me.

Yup. An unventful week.

Los Angeles finally got over its heatwave so your humb narrs chews on some stale Mallomars and contemplates the state of belly lint.

Philosophy is like chocolate. It gets melty if you leave it in the sun.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD post-Sharknado pic of the week: “This sweet little fish called the grunion swims up out of the ocean, onto the beach, for a moment of privacy for his mating ritual. And human beings swoop down on him, scoop him up, and fry him for dinner.”

Bon Jovi’s new album, New Jersey, gets it right.

Darksock goes to jail.

This won’t end well. It’s like 70s David Bowie got Brundleflied with a Bratz doll. And yes, I just used Brundleflied as a verb. Or maybe an adjective. Me not grammar good.

Oh Captain Pubing. Your wacky dubstep lightshow infused MDMA noxious parties are all that sucks the joy and life out of youthful exuberance. How you make me long for Threes Company vs. The Love Boat on Family Feud. How many people think Cleveland is an important American city? Survey Says?… zero.

Bored this weekend? 33 Minutes of Fail makes the time go quicker.

When hipsters tire of raising chickens, this happens. Maybe I won’t move to Portland after all.

What happens when irony stares in the mirror.

Okay, for all your hard work mocking ‘bags this week, here ya go:

PeaceBridgePear

For it is pensive and poetic for this summer Friday.

# posted by douchebag1
12:33 pm July, 12 Wheezer said...

Mmmmmm…..pear….. (drools)

12:37 pm July, 12 Wheezer said...

That Captain Pubing pic: he’s partying with scrotal legend Archie McScrote, aka Mack the Nozzle!

.

Mack must be trying out for the role of Yo Man Pustule.

12:38 pm July, 12 creature said...

‘Fucking Kill Me’?

12:51 pm July, 12 Douchble Helix said...

No. “http://www.discoversd.com/” is not in Cleveland.

1:02 pm July, 12 DarkSock said...

That wasn’t me on that horse…I know that “neigh” means “neigh”.

1:08 pm July, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wheezer is spot on re; Pear & Mack The Nozzle also Sharknado was so bad it was entertaining. Imagine Tara Reid being your mom? I cringed eveytime they referred to her as mom.

1:19 pm July, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

2-Headed Shark Attack, which I watched last night on Syfy, made Sharknado look like the Joe Papp version of Shakespeare in the Park.

2:16 pm July, 12 hermit said...

“The guy is practically harmless, except for horses….”

If DarkSock had a dollar for every time someone said that about him, he could finally afford that high-risk boater’s insurance.

7:19 pm July, 12 ehcuodouche said...

I watched that whole 33 minutes of fail and I cringed about 1046.3 times.

6:13 am July, 13 David Sholts said...

What the hell is “Discover STD”?

12:07 pm July, 15 FlipFriddle said...

Damn. I expected PeaceBridgePear to be the pear of a wondrous, barely-legal, SUNY Buffalo co-ed drop out coming back over the Peace Bridge from her stripper job in Fort Erie where she showed her bare poonanny to the adoring public, and, as a public service, showed some free pear to the early morning commuters. WNY dreamin’…

3:34 pm July, 19 Captain Canuck said...

The bridge starred in the film “Point Blank” which starred Lee Fukkin Marvin in possibly his best tough-as-nails role. Watch it. Watch him kick everyone’s ass.

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