Friday, July 26, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

photo (7)

Do you already hate Mister Tony as much as I do?

Do you realize his clownish antics in presence of hot chicks contains none of the joir de vive we come to associate with the finest of top shelf ‘bags that we mock on this site?

If so, I agree with you.

Mister Tony is hereby banished to the netherlands of nonmock.

No, not even if we wears ridiculous getups like this.

Paid to clown Vegas doucheclowns have no business being on such a classy site as HCwDB.

Oh wait. Yeah, I guess they do.

My standards are as shrunken as a baseball player’s nads.

Here’s yer links:

Here’s an accessory from the life change that’s about to befall your humble narrator.

Forget Weiner. Vote Boner.

Douchey ad campaigns. Still out there.

Amazing article on the early days of Queen and the diva-ness of Freddie Mercury.

I’m pretty sure this is one of my ex-girlfriends.

Jimmy Kimmel exposes Cochella attendees as idiotic herpster posers.

Explaining women in one satirical video clip: It’s not about the nail!

In England, a 14 year old girl Fights the Bleeth.

And then there’s champagne delivered by skydiving. For the idiot who has everything and likes to waste resources.

Okay, you’ve been good. Here you go:

GunPear

You’re welcome.

# posted by douchebag1
12:41 pm July, 26 Wheezer said...

DB1 = DADDY????? Yes! The ‘bag mocking shall continue unabated!

.

And with GunPear at your son’s side, each astride a mighty alpaca warrior, he will continue the fight against the scrotocalypse. It shall be glorious.

12:48 pm July, 26 FredN. said...

I had that exact same diaper bag.

It’s handy, but a backpack beats all – your arms will be full of kids (Baby DB1? DB2) and crap (literally crap).

12:48 pm July, 26 Dr Magnifico said...

Mister Tony must have lots of money. Or else he throws lots of money around to give the impression he has lots of money. Either way he sucks dog’s balls.

I’d like to bang orange UK mum. I’m not well.

1:01 pm July, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Salty fuccen tears for the that Queen link.

.

I’d like to nose-fuck Melissa Colorado ( if that IS your real name) and then shares some yucks leaving malicious fecal distributions around town…

1:09 pm July, 26 Crucial Head said...

Hey boss,

.

Congratulations! A small, but noteworthy win for Natural Selection. You may not defeat the quiver that sprang from the clown cart betwixt Octomom’s legs, but you got the ball rolling, and that’s pretty good for an average guy.

.

Joe & Rita’s.

1:15 pm July, 26 The Dude said...

DBaby1! yay!

1:18 pm July, 26 douchebag1 said...

Thanks fellow mockers, should be an interesting ride. Any day now…

1:24 pm July, 26 DarkSock said...

My only advice for child rearing…always, ALWAYS carry wipes.

.

Remember that, and remember who told you. Son.

.

I saw Malicious Fecal Distribution at Coachella once. They had great energy and vibe; the best of that genre.

1:28 pm July, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Fantastic links, but first and foremost. Mazel, mazel on the baby thing.

.

http://www.hark.com/clips/gcmvmkrjqk-mazel

.

Bill Boner backwards is lliB renoB. Wow…

.

The English bleeths are frightening. I wouldn’t bang any of em with Bea Arthur’s dick. It’s nice to see the Brits are so far along on their way to complete Societal Loss. Too bad they didn’t spend their Pounds or Euros or whatever the Fucc they’re called on salad and a dentist.

1:33 pm July, 26 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Good call on the wipes…They are great for everything and long ago replaced my trusty old sock, if you catch my drift.

1:42 pm July, 26 jonezy said...

Congrats DB1!

.

Do alpacas litter more than 1 at a time cuz you may need a bigger bag than that

1:44 pm July, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I felt kind of ill at hearing DB1 may be pregnant cause of the little bad experiences (the only kid I like is the one we aborted) with girl kids. Mazel Tov I guess. May you have boys with good health and big cocks. May your poop skills be swift and joyous. May Mr. Bubble greet your home once more. My your trusty dog be a soother thief and plate cleaner. And listen to lots of this band for solace? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99j0zLuNhi8

.

The british chicks kind of make me sick too. At least in the scrotals. Daddy.

1:47 pm July, 26 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait! When was the wedding? Or is this one of those Californication/Cohabitation/Cosplay kinda deals? All the same, Congrats!

.

Now are bags everywhere gonna fall all over themselves to Fly with the Goose?

1:48 pm July, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Any day?

That’s not enough time to throw you a virtual baby shower and present you with a murse. When purchasing your go-to stroller, make sure it can hide lots of booze and groceries under the baby in case of personal financial disaster. Trust me on this one.

2:40 pm July, 26 dickey fingers said...

Congrats DB1. Enjoy it.

2:46 pm July, 26 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Can I comment on the 14-year old girl story without sounding like an old perv?

.

Looking at that photo, the only one that DOESN’T need a boob job to distract from their face is the young girl.

2:59 pm July, 26 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

You know you want an Ed Hardy diaper bag, DB1. Congrats!

4:38 pm July, 26 Gamelorn said...

Dude, you are going to have NO time for this website when the baby is born. But congrats, having a child is the hardest and greatest thing you will ever do in your life.

6:02 pm July, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Ditto on the congrats DB1. Way to totally fuck up what you thought you had as a life, but still the best thing that will EVER happen to you. You better catch up on your sleep now. Not going to get any for about 9 months.

.

Mister Tony’s expression looks like his L4 back disc has completely blown out lifting up plump vegas bleeth who’s obviously hit the buffet a few too many times. Wonder if you can claim work comp for an injury like that.

6:03 pm July, 26 Douchble Helix said...

A kid? You *are* a kid!

7:49 pm July, 26 ehcuodouche said...

This is malicious fecal distribution!

8:23 pm July, 26 Jurassic Douche said...

Congrats DB1!

Coachella is an inland sea of herpes and fratdouches spending their parent’s money all for the chance to listen to crappy music and finger drunk bleeths.

1:03 am July, 27 DarkSock said...

Mister Tony knows that thick Asian chicks (respect) are more fun than a kiddy pool full of Silk™ lubricant and 4,873 FleshLights™.

.

For whatever reason, thick Chinese girls (not the beloved bubble-bootied Japanese or Koreans) have always been inexplicably attracted to me, to the point that the future ex-Mrs. Sock forbade us from eating in any sort of Chinese buffet. 3 trips to 3 different buffets with names like “Golden Dragon” and each time I was fawned over by a thick elder daughter of the hard-working parents running the joints to the point of their earning the stink-eye from the e’er jealous future former Mrs. Sock.

.

T.S., M.F. (True Story, Medical FACT).

.

Pu Pu Platterers.

4:44 am July, 27 Douchble Helix said...

^^^ How does one man fit so much living into one lifetime?

8:21 am July, 27 Charles Douchewin said...

Congratulations, DB1!

.

Here’s to your increase of inclusive fitness, (sensu Crucial Head @ 1:09 pm), as opposed to the bags’ and bleeths on this site who view fitness physically – to the detriment of us all.

.

Breeders

8:35 am July, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

http://www.cafepress.ca/+bib,635116028

.

Fuccen Trekkies

9:29 am July, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

Cigars for all bag-hunters!

FYI that Jimmy Kimmel thing? They asked normal questions and dubbed their joke questions on in post. Took us a while to figure that out.

9:52 am July, 27 Charles Douchewin said...

Being a temporary Canadian is a fascinating experience. Sure, Mongor’s here, but also:

.

http://www.departmentofpeace.ca/

.

If the U.S. Government ever expresses this idea, it’ll be a nudge, probably as a “Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Peace”.

.

For which The Reverend Chad Kroeger might be an admirable first director. He could be the John Marshall of hedonistic, peaceful diplomacy.

.

Baby steps.

10:58 am July, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Dear God, he bred!

.

Seriously though Boss, congratulations and good work. Yer boys can swim!

.

Two questions though. Who’s the lucky mom-to-be, and will she breastfeed?

8:19 pm July, 27 Just One O' You Regs said...

Had to comment on this one. Congrats DB1. If its a girl be sure to pay attentuon to her or her photo might end up on here. *shuddering at the irony*. Cheers!

Leave a Reply

What is 5 + 14 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)