Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy July 4th!!

Yo

From all of us here at HCwDB.

And by all of us, I mean me, an Adderalled DarkSock, and your Saturday Wallnuts After Dark.

And greasy hair Sleve Tatt Steve and the Milfy Hott Fantasy you had about your best friend’s mom in sixth grade.

# posted by douchebag1
8:35 am July, 4 bigphatnotadouche said...

Milfy red heads need to be celebrated with man batter on the 4th.

fireworks

10:03 am July, 4 The Dude said...

If Milfy Red Hott were at Wimbledon, I’d take her in the men’s draw. She’s got a good tennis dress too. White outfits get a soiled look after a fortnight. Is it too early to start drinking?

10:22 am July, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

She makes me want to stand up and salute!

He makes me want to punch a baby gopher in the nads.

10:36 am July, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Sixth Grade Journal- July 4, 2013

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Mrs. Sneillmann makes a mean chicken salad sandwich. When I watch through the window from the back shrubs, I also noticed that she wears those under wire-no strap bras from the magazine when she gets dressed for work. And she spends a LOT of time with the loofah in her nether regions in the shower….. maybe she likes it extra clean?

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Her boss, a guy who’s name I do not know so I’ll call him Mr HandsEverywhere, looks down her shirt at her boobies when he stands behind her to look at her computer screen. He also touches himself on the zipper under the desk when she walks out of her office tilting his head back and forth

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He’ll never find out who put the sugar in his gas tank because it happened at night

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The ugly/greasy/smelly, semi- employed tattoo dude (he carries squares up the ladder for his brother-in-law’s roofing business when the Mexican crew comes up short a man, usually the day after a holiday like Cinco de Mayo or July 4th, so he’ll prolly have to work tomorrow…ha ha, Stinky) that rides the rattling ’87 Yamaha-Harley Davidson knock-off with the worn tires that takes 7-8 tries to kick start grabs her butt when she greats him with a hug at the door to pick her up….., “Not much of a gentleman at all”, as Uncle Sully likes to say, “He needs a lesson in manners”

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When he left his coffee with the newspaper on the outside table to use the bathroom that time at Starbucks , the entire mixture of Visine and Ex-lax fit in there.

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When checked on later there was swearing and yelling and LOUD fart sounds and splashing coming out of the tiny bathroom window of his one room apartment next to the recycle station. The big trucks and forklifts couldn’t even drown him out . LOLz a Mundo !!!! :-))

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That’s all for today, journal, I’m tired from getting the feeling three times in the Sneillmann’s backyard tree. She took a really long bath with the window open and used some new thing she bought, kinda looked like a point-y flashlight that doesn’t light up to clean the inside of her nanny-hey-hey.

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It must have felt good getting clean because she closed her eyes, bit her lip and moaned a lot

.

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P.S. my pee pee hurts. and my right arm. I don’t like girls but I like Mrs Sneillmann

10:40 am July, 4 Ferris said...

Stephen proves that being an Baldwin still carries some weight with the mediocre-looking, recently divorced, cougar crowd. And with those who enjoy the Usual Suspects on dvd (not pictured).

11:58 am July, 4 Morbo said...

Can I go out on a limb and give the guy a Notta? Or are sleeve tatts too much of an autodouche signifier to overcome?

Guy strikes me as a decent fella with a hot, loving wife and a respectable blue collar job. Maybe he’s a roofer, like Vin suggested, or a landscaper. But he’s also an OK guy who will help you move, fix something around the house, and can troubleshoot problems with your car. He can change his own oil. He likes to fish. He keeps the grass cut around the house and doesn’t cause trouble in the neighborhood.

In this photo, he’s just kicking back at a party thrown by a friend of the wife. It’s been a hard week. The man deserves to let his slick-backed hair down once in a while.

On this Fourth of July, I’m going to say this guy is damn close to the American dream — hot wife, happy with his place in life, and a hard-workin’ man who helps keep the country running. Good on ’em for bagging the late-blooming high school prom queen runner-up.

Go in peace, brother. Go in peace.

12:33 pm July, 4 creature said...

he pees in her butt

12:36 pm July, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This is old news but still…

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Hey, football. Fuck you.

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Sincerely,

Hockey

1:01 pm July, 4 Douchble Helix said...

And his wearing our nation’s colours.

1:02 pm July, 4 Douchble Helix said...

he is

2:58 pm July, 4 Wheezer said...

Adderall? I thought ‘Sock liked the Ambien? He shouldn’t be mixing his pharmaceuticals like that.

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Bad things happen.

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I hope this guy’s just her brother. Adopted brother.

5:42 pm July, 4 Guid is Good said...

Comb forwards are the new comb overs.

6:34 pm July, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That guy’s blue background with stars tattoo is perhaps the most awesome ever on this site. Where’s Medusa?

7:19 pm July, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I just found my new favorite photo web site. Thanks eventvibe.com!

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http://www.eventvibe.com/events/lasvegas/21474-Electric-Daisy-Carnival-Day-3?showtab=Photos&action=gallery&gid=30967

7:21 pm July, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I have fireworks in my pants…en fuego, I says…

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http://www.eventvibe.com/events/miami/20571-No-Sugar-Added-?showtab=Photos&action=gallery&gid=30431

8:36 pm July, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I can’t dig all them DJ’s Wallnuts. Get a hold of yourself, and shit. Son. …….I just go about the 4th of July the normal way…..eating Oxy-Clean sprinkled hot dogs with a bushy wig-beard on and shouting in an english accent while workin my penis to a lather with Cindy Crawford’s “Meaningful Beauty” and ogling the frayed Cheryl Tiegs poster as Souza’s 45 skips on the old Victrola and my ass weeps out a wheatgrass smoothy trail of tears for an empire fixed in a death spin of media-fueled entropy.

10:45 pm July, 4 Guid is Good said...

eventvibe is the El Dorado of douchebags.

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