Monday, July 1, 2013

Why Money Managers Are at the Heart Of Supreme Assscrotery

AssholesOfWAllstreet

This guy.

Runs up a bar tab of $320,000.

Indicted for seven million dollar illegal investment scheme.

The fact that we haven’t responded to the abuses of Wall Street by dragging out the Masters of the Universe like they did to the royal court in France in 1789 remains a mystery to me.

If there is any cosmic justice then each of the rank festering “investment banker” pustule con artists of the past few decades will suffer nasty groin itch for eternity in the afterlife.

# posted by douchebag1
2:28 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

Goosebag.

2:29 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

Shot Chicks with Goosebags.

2:33 pm July, 1 Wheezer said...

Mr. Rogers’ great-grandson can sure pull some tail.

3:15 pm July, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Thick Chicks with Fat Bags

3:23 pm July, 1 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Dork-bag ? Is that possible ? Apparently so.

3:31 pm July, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“If there is any cosmic justice then each of the rank festering “investment banker” pustule con artists of the past few decades will suffer nasty groin itch for eternity in the afterlife.”

.

And have to party with Trannies.

3:32 pm July, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And have to watch the new Lone Ranger movie thrice daily.

3:32 pm July, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And have to suffer from a tragic fashion sense,

4:08 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

He’s already starting the Trump combover. I’d do that if I could pilf $7 Mil. My conscience wouldn’t survive it though. I’d be dead inside.

4:10 pm July, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Lawlessness.

4:17 pm July, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Seriously, $7million dollar swindle? That’s wouldn’t qualify him to be even a congressmen, let alone a Senator.

4:28 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

These are the REAL douchebags, whom I somehow hateeven more than HipsterBags, and I fuccen I hate them with an incandescent rage.

.

It’s one thing for trust fund thousandaires to live it up on the AMEX then collapse into bankruptcy. But THIS class of douchebag…who contribute no more to society than the Joey Porsches and Benzinos and Donks…THESE douchebags like the pasty fuck you see in the photo above, have somehow, like SKYNET, gained sentience and fucked us all over. GUYS, THAT IS YOUR FUCCEN MONEY HE’S GIVING THAT COCAINE COOZE…You know, the fuccen bucks in your now-deflated 401(k) that were supposed to keep you from living in appliance boxes in your old age? That ain’t his Daddy’s AMEX card he’s running thru her slobbering slot, it is YOURS.

.

Mother Fucker.

.

We talk about the fight against DoucheBags…but Big Bank money skimmers, who build nothing, solve nothing, add nothing to the world, have leveraged themselves and their heavy temple of voodoo fake money bullshit onto our backs and above the reach of the law.

.

Them Iranians had something goin’ on with the lynched motherfuckers rotting from construction cranes…line Wall Street up with a hunnert or so of those cocksuckers…let their brethren see the crows picking the shiny brass buttons off of the rot-smeared Brooks Brothers suits twisting slowly in the wind, attended by a halo of flies.

.

Scoff-Laws.

5:12 pm July, 1 Guid is Good said...

The Alexbag needs to spend less on Goose and more on Eastern European hookers. And hit the salad bar.

.

.

Priorities son. Priorities.

5:25 pm July, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

How do I just know that the new Lone Ranger movie is going to suck giant, pustule-infected, sulphurically-odiferous eggs?

.

.

.I know this has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand, but @DoucheyWallnuts comment set me to ponderin’ ’bout such weighty matters.

.

.

.

.and by “weighty matters” I mean how much I hate Johnny Depp.

5:27 pm July, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

I know first hand of the pain he of the Dark Sock speaks of re 401K’s. My new guy, at the time, sold my Apple Shares when they were still double digits. At the time I figured he knew what he was doing. Who knew it would go as high as $700. I thought he was a good guy seeing as I was introduced by a close friend. Turns out he was a coke addled alcoholic milking his wifes familys inheritance posing as an “Investment Adviser”. He’s nothing more then a glorified sales man and wouldn’t know a good investment from a gram of puro. They all suck!!!! and are smug as hell may they all rot.

6:06 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

Hot Chicks with Asscrapes

7:06 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

The Dude…why would you malign ass-scrapes by comparing them with money “managers”? And by “managers” I mean Milkers.
.
Speaking of which:
a

7:43 pm July, 1 Douchble Helix said...

This is a test. Deal with it.

.

7:43 pm July, 1 Douchble Helix said...

^^^ Test=Fail

.

Resume your lives.

8:18 pm July, 1 creature said...

yup…the creatch manages his own portfolio & is a-ok

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this soft lil marshmallow crumpet is gonna serve as a liverpuddian gaol ass magnet for wayward brit jack the ripper (rectum? nearly killed em) bum bugger types for years to come….how ya like the bottle service comin outta yer cellmates willie Alex? ya cellblock ass cherry prom queen…it aint gettin no better til your prolapsed snaphole resembles a deflated beachball

.

they’ll be trading your ass for tobacco futures…meaning your commissary, cuz!

8:23 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

ew

8:25 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

asdfsdf

8:28 pm July, 1 creature said...

btw, Bernie Maddoff’s rectum is the new investment super highway of the federal penile system

.

rump riders

8:29 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

The Douche Abides
asdfasdfasdfasdf

8:30 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

Are we winning the apocalypse or losing the good fight?
GOOD GOD Y'ALL
Spank Bankers.

8:50 pm July, 1 creature said...

awwww, fuggit!

…gonna join the rev & flame the badpipe

8:54 pm July, 1 creature said...

btw, daytime drinkin has changed my life….& also fueled my middle o the night time drnkin as well

.

teetoadlers

8:54 pm July, 1 The Dude said...

‘Sock at 7.06pm – you have found my new limo driver! Good grief, she reminds me of Eva Sonnet. A babe who haunted my dreams ten years ago. Haunted in a very good way, like a good angel.

11:09 pm July, 1 DarkSock said...

http://www.abevigoda.com/

4:33 am July, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Did anyone else notice the danger that poor girl with the somewhat copious breasts is in from her seat belt being placed way too low and from me ejaculating all over her?

5:33 am July, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lots of bad pipe was flamed in Canada yesterday.

5:35 am July, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And camel toes spotted

6:20 am July, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

John Corzine is on line 1 for ya, something about “only $7 million, that’s walking around money”…

6:23 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

Here’s what Alex Hope, the pudgy little pension thief in the Boss’s pic above, can get used to doing in Limey Prison:
anal
Rum, Sodomy and The Lash.
.
Bangers and Mashers

6:40 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

And lastly…maybe it’s the screaming hangover talkin’ here but it just occured to me that Katy “Peg Bundy” Sagal has Golden Globes so epic it makes me wonder about Ed’s lack of gusto…
weew
INCONTROVERTIBLE proof:
ASDFASDFASDF
Peggers.

6:42 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

^This is what I picture RevChad’s olde lady to look like.

7:04 am July, 2 Dickie Fingers said...

If you guys hate bankers now try watching “Inside Job”.

8:39 am July, 2 Douchble Helix said...

Notice how he has to lean towards her. Even with all that loot.

.

“Loot” I says.

9:59 am July, 2 killdoucher said...

i invest in lead, and lots of it! i also have an nice spice collection that accompanies my list of local oligarchs……when the time is juuuust right, i will begin my hunt to fill the cauldron with beans…human beins. fuckers wont have a place to hide no how! giddyup.

6:55 pm July, 2 douche equis said...

Sorry to have to be the bubble-burster . . . again . . .

.

“The fact that we haven’t responded to the abuses of Wall Street . . . ”

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But this guy isn’t ON Wall Street. He’s in London. That would be in England, a few thousand miles from Wall Street.

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“. . . by dragging out the Masters of the Universe . . .”

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By mob action I take it. Yeah, we don’t do that much now, unless it’s self-righteous libs occupying capital buildings, shouting down conservative speakers on campus, etc. But you should note that the modern equivalent, “Both men were arrested . . .”, has in fact taken place.

.

The big bar tab should have been a hint that other people’s money was being spent.

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I would agree with the poster above that a $7 million defalcation is bupkus in a modern context. Allen Stanford, Raj Rajaratnam, and Bernie Madoff, to name three, wouldn’t sit in the same room with the guy.

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Oh, and all three of them are in the slammer also.

9:19 pm July, 3 Douchble Helix said...

Madoff turned himself in. One of them guys is not Caucasian. And the Florida guy ran a Ponzi scheme.

.

Bring me the head of Jamie Dimon.

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