Monday, August 19, 2013

Caption This

Fraiku

The bigger they are…

If you have a clever caption for Lurch and Mini-Tracy-Ullman here, please share it in the comments thread.

***REMINDER***

This will be a scholarly week spent on discussion of all things DoucheBaggish. There will be no distracting gratuitous pear. We are here to do serious work, not ogle glistening buttocks of callipygian goddesses.

That is all.

# posted by Bagnonymous
2:33 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The more static in their hair.

2:33 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Mons Veneris is at knee level.

2:33 pm August, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Yeah, I got a comment: WTF!?!?!

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ps That weird parallel universe that Sock usually brings is back. You’ll experience it when you click the pic the first time.

2:34 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The bigger their shirt horsey is.

2:35 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The more elbows in the balls.

2:36 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ll take duodenal sphincter splittage for $20, Kanye.

2:36 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mind id I sleep on your pocket.

2:37 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How’s the Conan haircut up there?

2:38 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And way more static with ten-test, am I right?

2:40 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...
3:27 pm August, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Frank believed them when they told him “The sky is the limit for your douchebaggedness”.

4:04 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Being able to titty fuck a chick while you’re both standing is nothing to poke fun at. It’s to be admired.

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Hehe, “poke” fun at at.

5:01 pm August, 19 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

The bigger they are …… the more midgets you can insert in your rectum. In his case he says two.

5:03 pm August, 19 hermit said...

In the modern version of “The Munsters,” Herman’s four foot long cock becomes clogged with brewer’s yeast and coagulated seminal fluid, rendering him infertile. So, he and Lilly adopt a mildly retarded, blind boy with a penchant for mischief and advanced Tourette’s Syndrome.

5:14 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he has to lay down to jerk off.

5:14 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he poops Kardashians.

5:14 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he doesn’t need the ski lift.

5:15 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he once walked to Hawaii.

5:15 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he uses Volkswagen Beatles for skates.

5:16 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall his pee evaporates before it hits the urinal.

5:16 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall we could reach 100 comments riffing on him.

5:17 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he can only 69 with Human Centipedes.

5:17 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy’s so tall he gets to vote twice.

5:48 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall he leaves skid marks on the ceiling.

5:49 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall his nose bleeds if he stands up too fast.

5:53 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall if he layed down in the chunnel his head would be in England and his feet would be in France.

5:54 pm August, 19 hermit said...

That chick is so short she has to stand on a dime to look over a nickel.

5:55 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall his gyroscope doesn’t reach his monkey hole.

6:10 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall, when he farts no one smells it.

6:20 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall his pubes have frost on them every morning.

6:21 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he peed in a horse…twice.

6:22 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall his snot is caused by glacial melt.

6:23 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall his balls have only seen his dick in pictures.

6:24 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he doesn’t fuck doggie style, he fucks giraffe style.

6:24 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall you need a grain thresher to shave his back.

6:25 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall he squat thrusts standng telephone poles for recreation.

6:26 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he still poos Gerber baby food.

6:27 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall his knee caps have no nerve endings.

6:27 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he has to wear a hard hat on the tip of his dick in case he gets an erection inside a building.

6:27 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he doesn’t take the stairs, he takes the elevator shaft.

6:28 pm August, 19 hermit said...

He once straddled the Eiffel Tower.

6:28 pm August, 19 hermit said...

On his knees.

6:29 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he had to apply for an Accredited Crane Operator Certification before he was allowed to turn his head.

6:30 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall you tickle his feet and he giggles three days later.

6:32 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall his scrotum would skin five timpanis.

6:34 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall his head has guide wires attached to it.

6:35 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall his birthday is July.

6:35 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he paralyzed the last girl he fucked by crushing her brain stem with his dick.

6:36 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall girls need a ladder to suck his dick.

6:36 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall when he lies down he’s arrested for illegally crossing the border.

6:39 pm August, 19 hermit said...

This guy is so tall the FAA makes him wear blinking lights on his head.

6:42 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he stores his head in the overhead compartment on planes.

6:43 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he has to duck when a satellite passes overhead.

6:44 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he uses Stonehenge as a butt plug.

6:45 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy’s so tall he can’t play basketball because the Roofer’s Union won’t allow him to jump inside any building.

6:46 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he can see the rings of Saturn without the aid of a telescope.

6:47 pm August, 19 hermit said...

Never stand under this guy during a thunderstorm.

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And move to the lowest floor of your home.

6:48 pm August, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This guy is so tall he’s the reason why cumulus clouds have “cum” in them.

6:49 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guy is so tall his cock works washing windows.

6:50 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he gave the CN Tower a wedgie.

6:51 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he uses the Chunnel for a bong.

6:51 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he smokes stacks.

6:52 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall the lintel over his frat door has an elevator.

6:52 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he needs a pillaster to hold his balls?

6:53 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall they poured a plie cap pn his head.

6:53 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall his clothes are curtain wall.

6:54 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he has an exoskeleton.

6:55 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he can see Turkey from Sarah Palin’s house.

6:55 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he has Skylab for lice.

6:56 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Thia guys so tall he saw Edie Gormet ascend to Heaven with the archangels.

6:57 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he hangs elevators, drywall’s for Frenchmens.

6:58 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guy i so tall he knows that all of Toronto is boring.

6:58 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he fucks switchbacks.

7:00 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guys so tall he drink geysers.

7:59 pm August, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The bigger they are, the smaller their twat.

8:01 pm August, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s so small her snail tracks have snail tracks.

8:03 pm August, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s so short her twat sticks to linoleum.

8:05 pm August, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Twat is my word of the day. And maybe tomorrow, as well. How’s about, “Twat Tuesday?”

8:13 pm August, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She’s so short she needs a step stool to reach her clit. Her clit, I says.

8:31 pm August, 19 hermit said...

He’s so tall he has weather balloon nut sacks.

8:40 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

I can’t stop laughing. You fuccen Retards.

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Tell you what…we hit 100, I’ll append some Gratuitous Pear to this sumbitch tonight.

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Holy shit I got snot running down my chin from laughing.

.

Tards

8:41 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

He’s so tall his socks are Lands End sleeping bags.

8:41 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

He’s so tall he has to stand in the Marianas Trench to wash his asshole.

8:42 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall when he craps his knees rub the ceiling.

8:42 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he needs wifi to see his feet

8:43 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall his femur has scaffolding

8:43 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he’s never seen eggs.

8:45 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

She’s so short she almost got raped by a mallard when she did a duckface selfie by a pond once

8:45 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he has to fly UPS

8:46 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he doesn’t believe in mosquitos

8:47 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he uses city buses as FleshLights.

8:47 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall tree surgeons have to shave his junk.

8:48 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he takes his Low T treatments via bottle rockets.

8:48 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall girls have to go to China so he can go down on them.

8:49 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall when Lurch sees him he cries “DER PLANE! DER PLANE!!!”

8:50 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall you can only see his bald spot with Hubble.

8:50 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall his dandruff turns into meteors.

8:51 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he has to sit down to play in the NBA.

8:51 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he uses her as a condom.

8:52 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall when he visited New York he got arrested for occupying Wall Street.

8:52 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he got drunk and hit on the Statue of Liberty.

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And got her number.

8:53 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall he got a hummer from Mt. Rushmore.

8:54 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

This guy is so tall the gum Mrs. Higdon made him spit out in the 7th grade hasn’t hit the ground yet.

9:24 pm August, 19 creature said...

this guys so tall he washes his balls at the golf course

9:25 pm August, 19 killdoucher said...

the guy is so tall he brings to the party his very own finger puppets!

9:27 pm August, 19 killdoucher said...

the dude is so tall he scares the piss out of sasquatch!

1:19 am August, 20 Wheezer said...

This guy’s so tall, if he had longer hair, we could name him “Mulliver.”

6:57 am August, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’m gonna give Lurch a provisional notta. Also, I think Mini-Traci went home with him after this party.

10:32 am August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, he hunts geese with a rake.

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.

.

.

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Yeah, it’s a rip-off but it’s till fuccen funny.

11:47 am August, 20 DrVino said...

Dx: Marfan Syndrome.

12:02 pm August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, he hit his head on the moon.

12:04 pm August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, he fertilized an entire Monsanto crop when he took a shit.

12:05 pm August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, that when he pees, it comes down as a monsoon in the Philippines.

12:09 pm August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, CERN is going to try and use him to generate Higgs bosons.

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.

?????

12:10 pm August, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This guy’s so tall, Richard Branson wants to rent his nuts for sub-orbital flights.

5:04 pm August, 20 The Dude said...

Short Liv Ullman’s pants are so tight her vulva is glad it’s shaved. So am I.

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