Monday, August 12, 2013

Failed Fathers of History

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I’d argue that Mr. Connors of Whebley Drive, Virginia, father of Shyana Connors (pictured here cohabiting with Turd Von Queef), deserves entrance into the Hall.

Perhaps, as a new father, the tenor of my mock hath changed. For my BC1 is like the daughter I never had. Except she’s now the daughter I did have if the daughter I did have were exactly like a hypothetical daughter I never had.

Tautology. Like ironic. On your wedding day.

Now back to pooland for your humb narrs…

# posted by douchebag1
7:50 am August, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I was wondering what happened to Crispin Glover.

8:06 am August, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Alex, I’ll take “name that adult film star that does double anal” for $500.

8:34 am August, 12 Los Douches said...

Facial tattoo = failure at life.

No exceptions.

8:50 am August, 12 Vin Douchal said...

This guy is what a Nazi prison guard would look like if WWII was happening right now.

.

.

Fuck you , Nazi prison guard.

8:55 am August, 12 UFO Destroyers said...

I’m talking to you Disney Corp. This is what happens to Emilio Estevez when you decline to pick up “The Mighty Ducks 4: The PED Years.” Shame on you.

9:16 am August, 12 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Havana Polo Club?

I’d wager every cent in my bank accounts that his guy couldn’t find Cuba on a map if you spotted him Florida.

9:22 am August, 12 Douchble Helix said...

That’s the tall bad guy from Fargo, and some other things.

9:54 am August, 12 Vin Douchal said...

He looks like he ate a bad taco, If you know what I mean”

10:25 am August, 12 johnsmallberries said...

their eyes match her fingernails.

10:38 am August, 12 killdoucher said...

where do these face tatted mongoloids find employment?

11:14 am August, 12 Scooby Douche said...

I’m guessing his mother didn’t hug him enough.

I’m guessing his uncle Milton hugged him a little too much, if ya get my meaning.

11:29 am August, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He definitely has a future in carnival work. Eating light bulbs and swapping VD with the bearded lady is about all he can do at this juncture.

11:31 am August, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Aw man. Clancy Brown went douche? That totally sucks!

12:16 pm August, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lisa Marie has always had bad taste in spectacle. And shit..Son.

12:53 pm August, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’ll take, “Two People I Hope Get Stomach Cancer,” for $250.

12:54 pm August, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“He’s had his pupils tattooed. He is The Most Interesting Douchebag in the World.”

12:54 pm August, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And may I be the first person in this thread to call the bleeth with LUST tattooed on her fingers, a Cunt.

1:33 pm August, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hey DW, let’s play guess what’s tattooed on her right hand. I’ll go first. I say her right hand has DICK on it.

1:35 pm August, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oh, and I second the cunt nomination. She’s as likely to be in the HoH as a butterfly is to using a crescent wrench.

1:36 pm August, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I say her right hand has NUTZ on it.

2:29 pm August, 12 DarkSock said...

Lance was still traumatized months after surviving the Flair Pen Factory Explosion of 2011.

2:31 pm August, 12 DarkSock said...

Lance learned a hard lesson about falling asleep in the lobby of the Annual Therapeutic SpiroGraph Convention for OCD Victims.

2:32 pm August, 12 DarkSock said...

Lance, who was standing right next to Donk when the bus struck him, was too traumatized at first to wash away the necrotic flesh spray.

6:01 pm August, 12 eyedouche said...

Tattooed Nazis. I hate tattooed Nazis….

8:17 pm August, 12 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I’m pretty sure I have had house pets with higher IQs than this douche. Even the Dutch rabbit with the black and white face does not seem inclined to get tatts.

4:09 am August, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “CUNT.”

9:31 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “D’oh!”

9:31 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “NSFW”

9:32 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers (and thumb) reads, “36 PSI”

9:32 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “SMEG”

9:33 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “#@*!”

9:33 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “A to M”

9:34 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “MEH!”

9:36 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “CARP

9:37 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “FOUL”

9:39 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, “DANK”

9:41 am August, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Tatt on her other fingers reads, BRA!

10:39 am August, 13 Mr. Biggs said...

Nothing says “I’m a badass” like unemployable tattoos and a Polo Club shirt.

He must just strut around on that polo field.

All his trust fund friends must gaze upon him with envy and resentment.

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