Friday, August 2, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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As Nostradouchemas foretold…

When the Pink Satin Kingdouche fondles Kelly, then the world will openeth and farteth lo the smelliest of farteths.

Hey, don’t argue with me. It’s Nostradouchemas.

As your humb narrs and HC1 are preparing to welcome in BC1 (Babychick1) any day now, things have been a little crazy in the DB1 household.

Apparently, sitting around, scratching your ass, eating HoHos and watching DVDs of Tom Baker era Doctor Who when a baby is about to arrive is frowned upon in this establishment.

As is proposing “free poop zones” in the den.

So not a ton of links today. But I do what I can do.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Buy Some Shit and Support the Site Link: Still the greatest videogame of all time.

Millennials hate to drive Ruining their body and soul with bad piercings, tatts, and anti-intellectualism remain no problem.

Penelope Cruz has a new ad that makes me feel funny in the special place.

New evidence has arisen that site favorite Champagne Katie is actually… Sheertina. Because I have the facial recognition skills of an arthritic ferret.

If you like your doucheposes without hotts, and you probably don’t, here’s last week’s Mr. Champ flexin.

And the 89th most beautiful woman in the world is… April Rose. And Adonai said, ‘let there be fap! And there was fap.”

Okay, ready for some pear? First up

EyeTestPear

Just to see how your vision is. Is it good? Okay. Then you’re ready for

JadeUberpear

Like a large and succulent melonpocalpyse.

# posted by douchebag1
12:46 pm August, 2 FredN. said...

CK = Sheetina? Gawdamn.

12:58 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

I’d part those drapes and let the sun in.

.

My meat sun.

1:00 pm August, 2 Dickie Fingers said...

I’m getting a Mayan eye of “I’m so good at oral I chipped my tooth” vibe from her.

1:40 pm August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I see a hypnotizing booty

.

3:46 pm August, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Fuck that , man, that pink suit is awesome. Of course you need the fatass body of a Luchre Libra fighter to fill it out right, but still…

4:14 pm August, 2 Guid is Good said...

If Champagne Katie has entered the HOH as Sheertina, it is right up there with finding out that the Earth actually revolves around the Sun.

.

.

Copernicans

4:17 pm August, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I dunno if Sheertina is Katie (I’m thinking no, but…) but she sure does show some mag-fucking-ificent sideboob.

4:19 pm August, 2 Guid is Good said...

And if “new evidence” is actually outstanding sideboob, it would be wrong not to go and do further investigation. Vigorous investigation even.

4:50 pm August, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Eye Test Pear made me dizzy whilst I was ejaculating.

4:51 pm August, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jade Über Pear made me ejaculate whilst I was dizzy.

5:18 pm August, 2 Guid is Good said...

That whole “free poop zone” is right on trend. I’m having trouble convincing the rest of the family who say I should still use the can like the last forty odd years.

6:19 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Offering ‘Free Poop’ could kill the Poop Market.

.

Divestitures

.

I survived Eye Test Pear relatively unscathed.

8:31 pm August, 2 creature said...

her, butterface

he, butt for face

12:24 pm August, 3 eyedouche said...

Schlong Gone. What happens if Jade Uber Pear clenches.

2:34 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think maybe DB1 is birthin a little she-Jew today.

3:20 pm August, 3 The Dude said...

Just think, in a few years DB1 will be handing her the keys to his Internet Ferrari.

4:41 pm August, 3 The Dude said...

Just think, in a few minutes Pink Gerbil-squishing idiot will let go of topless hott and say Whore-ayyy! For the emergence of a baby born with serious attitude.

4:44 pm August, 3 The Dude said...

Just think, life thru the eyes of BC1 might include HoHo’s or Mr. Pibb’s or Ass-scratch or Why Do I Have To WTF Are you talking about!

4:45 pm August, 3 The Dude said...

Just think what Sheertina’s thinking right about now.

4:59 pm August, 3 Wheezer said...

[As your humb narrs and HC1 are preparing to welcome in BC1 (Babychick1) any day now, things have been a little crazy in the DB1 household.]

.

It’s good to know the douche mock will continue unabated well into this century.

5:07 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rebeccah

5:07 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lot’s Wife

5:08 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hagar

5:09 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sarah

5:09 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rachel

5:09 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Delilah

5:10 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ruth

5:11 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Barbara

5:12 pm August, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nefretiti? Too soon?

5:56 pm August, 3 Just One O' You Regs said...

Champagne Baby

5:58 pm August, 3 Just One O' You Regs said...

I wonder what Sheertina’s rectal polyp thinks of all this.

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