Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Peyton and Eli Get Their Douche Mocking On

Had to take a break from my current BC1 insanity to post this glorious mock from the Manning brothers.

Count the douchal symbols, from six pound watches to white belts.

Nicely done, boyz. Even if DirecTV can lick my scrotundae they suck so much.

# posted by douchebag1
7:20 pm August, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I saw three guys dressed like this over the weekend, and they weren’t parodying anything.

7:20 pm August, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Eli is tryimg to get some skank poon on his dirty southern-fried cock. Giants win Superbowl this year. 2:1 odds?

7:33 pm August, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Get puked on yet Mr. Swaddling? Buy the SUV/Van/Crossover shit yet? Birkenstocks for strolls to market to buy the fresh veg. Wait? Don’t wear the belly baby carrying thing cause that’s gay. Backpack babies baby! Fuck the fresh foods after the first month or two to the Jolly Green Giant 100kg bag at Costco.

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It takes me about six years to get attached to a kid. Fucking Romantics.

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You don’t want to eat that shit kid? Here’s the fucking crackers and jam. Fuck you.

8:54 pm August, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Glad you took time out from shitty diapers, Chief, ’cause I had skipped this.

1:08 am August, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That was awful in a wonderfully terrible and badly nice way. Now I don’t feel so guilty about some of the weird musical projects I’ve been involved in.

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Wait. Yes I do.

4:29 am August, 7 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Is it possible that your work is done here, DB1?

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.For when institutions as insular and culturally tone deaf as corporate America AND the NFL(not to mention rich and famous jocks) take up the chant (and the mock), might not one argue that the douchosity and douche-i-tude that inspired this website have achieved a negative critical mass which, Newtonian physics being very clear on this, will steadily hasten their inertial implosion?

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.Besides, you now have that gorgeous little muffin/pooping machine to concentrate on (Congrats on that, btw, but don’t get too full of yourself. All we dads do is bang the mom….they do all the heavy lifting.)

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.Douchebags are soon to be absurd relics of early 21st Century Amerika — their demise hastened, no doubt, by the good works of yourself and your fellow ‘baghunters. Replacing them will be nerds or nancy-boys or some other form of peacock that will not foment the outcry, anger and ridicule inspired by King Douchuous, The Gator, et al.

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I suggest re-naming the site: Hot Chicks with Even Hotter Chicks — and make it a one-stop spank bank for the sardonic. I, for one, get tired of all that one-handed pointing and clicking that PornHub requires.

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.Onanists

8:27 am August, 7 DarkSock said...

Hot Chicks with Yoga Pants is the new scourge that must be stopped, by fapping onto them until they are yogurt pants.
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ass
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Vikings.

8:30 am August, 7 DarkSock said...

And you’re not fooling anyone, “Choad the Douche Sprocket”…we know you’re really DB1. Now get back to work flogging jokes out of this one trick pony…if we can reach 11,000 Samurai Scrote riffs then you can drive this one note solo clear into 2050.

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Monotheists.

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Son.

8:56 am August, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Mad Avenue hits yet another homer with the Manning boys.

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Royals telecast, Douchebag was so greasy he couldn’t open a water bottle.

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What a jumpoff

10:08 am August, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of sports, they are a never ending supply of comedy. As long as THIS doesn’t happen to you

1:12 pm August, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@CTDS

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Um…. Yeah. I’m assuming you mean faux nerds because real nerds know that there isn’t such a thing as negative critical mass AND it has absolutely nothing to do with Newton. Just a heads up.

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Geeks

1:14 pm August, 7 Hermit said...

The fact that the two goofiest, white dorks on the planet can pull off a video of equal or better quality than any “serious” hip-hop “artist” is proof that the genre is wholly devoid of talent or substance.

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I’ll be spending the rest of the afternoon rewinding the elastic waistbands of my jockey shorts and huffing paint.

2:03 pm August, 7 Douchble Helix said...

This country will be “post douchebag” right after we’re “post racial”.

3:47 pm August, 7 hermit said...

At the risk of being forward, I’d like to introduce aluminum foil into the discussion.

5:21 pm August, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Hermit

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Word. Goofy great athletes doin bullshit talent show shit. Ya might fool Pres 43 with you won’t get fooled again. But this cacks

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And DB1, start building a physically substantial obstacle to those of the fairer sex. Man cave of any kind. The statistics say that one of the parents of a first born child, if medically insured, is likely to seek psychiatric help from their doctor or a referred psych person in the first two years. Not you, just saying.

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Pops

6:09 pm August, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m totally stoned out of my gourd. Academic shit is out for tonight yo. I just saw this somehow and am quite confident that the participants in this silly TV video were stoned and shit.

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http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12sl9h_colbert-dances-to-daft-punk-s-get-lucky_music

7:21 pm August, 7 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Who are those two douchey nerds with Archie Manning?

7:39 am August, 8 DarkSock said...

Meanwhile – I’ve stumbled across a means to travel back in time simply by carefully watching the obscure movie “Primer” whilst stoned and taking careful notes. Son.

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However I’m currently debating on whether or not I should actually go back in time because I’m concerned that I may trigger some sorth of destructive paradoxical causality loop and then I would cease to

10:38 am August, 8 Vin Douchal said...

The Point Of Boob

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Boobs

1:44 pm August, 8 hermit said...

Well, I guess this means no Friday Haiku.

3:12 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Isn’t Dark Sock responsible for that? Maybe he should take over for a bit?

5:58 pm August, 8 Crucial Head said...

@Darksock

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Watched Primer a week ago. Made on a budget smaller than Detroit’s Chase Manhattan account too. I raise you this four hour epic… be sure to watch the hardcore version: http://idreamofwires.org/

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Donnie Darko’s

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