Thursday, August 15, 2013
Reader Mail: Carlos the Jagoff is nottadouche?
Responding to yesterday’s pic, reader doosh disputes whether Carlos the Jagoff is really a ‘bag:
———
Seems the standards for douche mocking have fallen off over the last year or so. No douchy tats, no douchy hairdo or facial hair, no douchy clothes. Yeah, his shorts are a little douchy and the pose is too, but I would consider those circumstantial evidence. This guy is NOTHING compared to the legends on this site, and IMHO – nottadouche.
—————-
Perhaps this pic of Carlos with his suburban Asian hottie gangsta harem will help clarify the situation.
You have learned nothing, grasshopper. Nothing.
Everything is in a Bob Guccione soft-focus. But yes, douchebag.
.
Which is why one should give probationary notta’s until proven either way.
Of course then there’s panda costume porn, which is gaining in popularity.
Jagoff=douche
.
Nice effort though, doosh – you are an optimalist.
Any denied “Notta” automatically makes the failed challenger a ‘bag.
The gun pic ? Come on, this isn’t even worth wasting a second on. Carlos = Complete Douche. Lets move on. When does Dark Sock Pear Week start ?
I don’t know what’s more troubling; Carlos the Jagoff or reader doosh’s call of Notta.
.
Also, what’s worse Carlos’s Chin Fung or someone yelling, “Come get your free Axe Body Spray,” in a crowded Jersey Shore Club?
Yeah he’s not making the Hall but he’s got an Apolo Anton Ohno “Why the fuck is he here?” vibe going.
.
Sidenote: ” I hate Apolo Anton Ohno
This guy is NOTHING compared to having an ingrown toenail gouged out by the podiatrist
This guy is NOTHING compared to slamming your index finger in the car door
This guy is NOTHING compared to snatching your cocckhole in yer zipper
This guy is NOTHING compared to being next after a fat guy with nuclear diarrhea in a windowless men’s room
Third cup of coffee kicking in:
.
This guy is NOTHING compared to your TV tuner being frozen on a “Dance Moms” marathon
This guy is NOTHING compared to the Yankees radio broadcast team
This guy is NOTHING compared to Droopy McScrote
This guy is NOTHING compared to the shit Vin just put my ears through. Damn you, damn you to hell Vin Douchal.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Rawjer Clemmins is bahk!
This guy is NOTHING compared to the the jagoff that runs my home-owners association.
Only in New Yawk.
Granted, this twit may be anal leakage compared to the explosive doucherrhia we encounter here, but he’s more douche than twit. And he’s a twit.
Carlos the Jagoff is EXACTLY EQUAL compared to <i?THIS GUY
Vin, that hurt me in places not worth hurting. Thank you very little. LOL
This guy is NOTHING compared to Carlos Danger who’s a total Jack Ass.
I gauge my own ingrown toenails out.
Nouveau Riche
Dear reader doosh
.
.
Don’t call us.
.
.
No really. Don’t call us. Ever.
.
.
Is that you Benzino?
My suburban Asian hottie gangsta harem was seized by Customs. Who knew you had to declare that shit?
In this photo Jagoff shows us the safe way to finger an ostrich, or emu.
Motion for nottadouche withdrawn as additional evidence has been submitted that overwhelmingly dictates a finding of douche.
We have douchey facial hair of the chin fung variety, sunglasses indoors, wearing douchey headphones while in the company of women, douchey hand gesture, douche shirt, wearing dogtags for his service as a STD-riddled DJ.
While I agree the additional evidence dictates a finding of douche. I continue to contend that the prior evidence (which motivated my nottadouche proposal) was insufficient to support the finding without more – as we have here.
I submit that we cannot allow the douche label to be diluted, lest specimens such as Ab Lobster, FIsh Slap, and Donkey Douche avoid every ounce of the shame they deserve through the misapplication of the label.
Respectfully Submitted,
doosh