Thursday, September 19, 2013

Brenda's 'Bagtag Brevity

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Reader Brenda writes in with a one sentence story that leaves so many questions unanswered:

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From: Brenda

Subject: Wanna be rapper

So this cool guy screwed over my sister, im a big fan of your sight, hes a real douchebag.

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So many questions.

How does a douche so douchey become a douche so douchey?

What is the sound of one hair gel follicle spiking?

Why did the ATF smoke-bomb the shoot?

Why is a Dalek attacking?

# posted by douchebag1
7:24 am September, 19 Guid is Good said...

They look like they were made for each other.

.

That is unfortunate for both of them.

8:08 am September, 19 kneejerk said...

Yeah, sorry he banged and left your fatass sister.

That makes him a douche. But not a DOUCHE.

8:32 am September, 19 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I doubt this is the last time thier genitals touch one anothers.

8:43 am September, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

I do NOT like this Back to the Future reboot.

9:17 am September, 19 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

He may be a douchebag but he’s obviously got a strong back.

.

.

.

.

chubbychaser

9:20 am September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Deconstruct-

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From: Brenda Real name: Cassidy

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Subject: Wanna be rapper Foul mouth illiterate with speech patterns not unlike the way Biz Markie sings

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So this cool guy owns a Camaro, works at In ‘n’ Out and wears Kmart “gold” chains

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screwed over my sister she bangs anyone with a car and a night’s worth of meth

.

im a big fan of your sight I’ve seen a dozen people I know on this sight and listened to them alternately bitch about it then act all proud

.

hes a real douchebag. There’s an “e” in that word? No wonder it took me days to find this website

9:32 am September, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hold on here people. I think everyone is missing the most important element in the pic. At least SOMEBODY had the brains to start the car in a closed garage. And for that, we should thank them.

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Problem solved. Problem stayin’ solved.

11:30 am September, 19 Dickie Fingers said...

His IROC has an emission problem. I imagine she does too.

11:30 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

May I be the first person in this thread to call Brenda a Cunt.

11:32 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Brenda

Fenda

Cooze

Ooze

Horrenda

11:36 am September, 19 jonezy said...

I haven’t seen a pud smirk this potent since HJBB&D stained the sight with his abysmal prose.

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Is there a best(worst) Pud smirk category in the Yearlys?

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The blatant, undeserved arrogance and egotism contained in that partial smirk, while simultaneously hoisting Moby Dick’s third cousin, twice removed (from the sea) is an astonishing feat of self confidence.

11:58 am September, 19 Misty Axe said...

I would Super Pursuite Mode the fuck out of there…

KITT son

5:25 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Brenda! Fuck! I second the Cunt.

11:40 pm September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Please tell me this is a minigame from GTA V: You have to carry the fat chick to safety before carbon monoxide overcomes you both…

6:38 pm September, 20 Douchesdownunder said...

The look on his face says:”Christ, can you take the picture already so’s I can put this heffa-lump down?”

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