Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

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It takes a bold couple to scribble text on their bodies, grease up, then display that inked body as some form of phallus/vag genital prize on the carnal catwalk of summer beach culture.

And by bold, I mean silly.

Your humb narrs is sipping a coffee and reflecting on life.

Perhaps the days of blog-based entertainment no longer make sense in a world of custom feeds and hive-mind comedy sites like Reddit.

But fuggit. I got nothing else to do.

Have some links:

Your Amazon Buy Some Shit and Support the Site Link of the Day: My seven-week-old baby, BC1, did not appreciate her latest crib partner.

Confused on how to tag a douchebag in the wild? Consult this handy graph.

Meanwhile in fake PC sporting leagues, the WNBA simply does not respect its target audience.

Douche Product Alert: Genital Dye. For when you need to wash the gray away. On your genital. Singular.

Because sometimes old people just wanna be noticed.

William Swagspeare.

Dat ass. Don’t ask me, I just work here.

From father to son: Generation ‘Bag.

Okay, nuff on this nonsense. Heres ya go:

PawPrintPear

Not enough? Okay, one more:

HeavenPear

You’re welcome.

# posted by douchebag1
12:43 pm September, 27 Wheezer said...

BC1 is adorable!

1:03 pm September, 27 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Tatted up like a Sunday comics section is no way to go through life, young lady.

1:34 pm September, 27 Wheezer said...

Boss, here’s a great marketing idea: save all of BC1’s “used” diapers and advertise a new hair sculpting “paste” for Vegas ‘bags. After all, they won’t notice the smell over the reeking Axe clouds – as a matter of fact, it’ll smell nice in comparison.

.

You’ll be “ballin’” with all that cash, broheim. You’re welcome.

5:08 pm September, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

FYI guise … those of you living in LA, we’re finally getting copies of my book, Inferno Los Angeles. We’ll be partying at Barcade in Ktown (with copies) to celebrate. Details and RSVP here.

8:33 pm September, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet Jesus this weed gives me short term memory loss.

8:04 am September, 28 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

good links this week DB1. and a very cute pic of BC1. On that genital dye stuff, was wondering (hoping) if they will come out with a similar product to restore that healthy glow to my aging balls.

8:55 am September, 28 Dickie Fingers said...

That is some bold scribbling. Good job, Baldy.

1:08 pm September, 28 creature said...

I can do a map of hawaii on her tummy

2:43 pm September, 28 DarkSock said...

meanwhile, I give you the worlds best/worst band, Bathtub Shitter.
.
Shit gets real at the 25 second mark.

3:08 pm September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t know about that chink rock. Remember Pearl Harbour Son.

.

Otherwise, I was on an excursion this week with Lenny The Box to go about analyzing the risks of lending money to a certain large scale equestrian enterprise in my general area.

As usual I was working stoned as fuck with Lenny’s new Lenaura Kush coursing through my nerves. Well before the weed really hit me I had a few Rock Star vodkas and some Cymbalta to keep me straight. At one point during my inspection of the assets I had to ask the gentleman farmer to make me some copies of his financials. Well I’m all alone in the paddocks, cause Lenny has to stay in the car for insurance reasons, and I decide to strike up a conversation with one of the finest fillies. After doing a full psychoanalysi on the horse, I realized that she was getting old and

troubled. What’s wrong Angie, I says. And she gives me the picture. When she was a young horsey about 8 years ago she used to be confident with her untouched pink vaginal lips. Now she’s using makeup on them and shit.

.

Turns out she was doing some breeding in the Southern (respect) states and met the nicest person she ever met. He sweet-talked her and said something about being a glorified draftsman and gave her a sip of a drink new to her called Maker’s Mark. She said to the young fellow that she was getting dizzy. Take these pills he said, it weill make you feel better.

.

Next morning her horse hymen was broken and she was full of urine. Heart broken she told me she was never able to love again. And shit.

4:43 pm September, 28 creature said...

no butthole surfers or bruharia, but frickin far out

7:44 pm September, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

That chick is gnarly with a capital G…or N…or something. Way to compensate for 13 yr old teats by scumming up the bod with ink. And the muskrats weep.

4:28 am September, 29 Wheezer said...

Even as a boy, DarkSock had the young ladies trying to gain his attention…..

6:49 am September, 29 Douchesdownunder said...

Like I said, more Kyla please.

8:27 pm September, 29 Morbo said...

At least the folks in the Generation Bag pic are kind enough to proclaim their baggery. It’s like seeing two gay guys who just said, “fuggit” and proudly act like total queens. It’s who you are. Don’t hide it.

.

Or, maybe it was a court-ordered punishment. Like when a teenager gets caught stealing and is ordered to hold up a sign outside the store saying as much. In this case, they were busted for polluting a public pool and sentenced in ‘Bag Court.

6:52 am September, 30 Dickie Fingers said...

Check out the badly drawn rooster on her hip. I hope you got your money back for that.

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