Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Halfpipe McFaux Thinks its 2008

Banned-from-the-Lollipop-Guild

He’s sure that his wacky DJ/Bar-Mitzvah circuit for dancing hiphop clowns will take off one of these days.

For now, don’t think of it as investing in a flailing enterprise that misfiled its S-corp returns for the past three years resulting in an audit and a seizing of all future assets.

Think of it as funding a dream.

Average Sophie doesn’t hold up the HC side of this equation, but what the hell, I got spittle on my shirt.

# posted by douchebag1
10:42 am September, 24 Dickie Fingers said...

Well at least she’s got nice uh ah

10:50 am September, 24 The Dude said...

He looks so ridiculous I wanna cut him a pass. She looks fun, especially in the short skirt region.

11:18 am September, 24 jonezy said...

THAT, madame, is no Peaches point.

THIS, is a Peaches point.

11:21 am September, 24 FredN. said...

That same night featured this pair:

http://www.spyonvegas.com/galleries/zoom/the-act/pussy-galore/ef8bfe2715554a3cb435e69567cbf31e/

So, I can’t really slam the original pic above. Not weird enough.

11:22 am September, 24 jonezy said...

I sort of wish we had an update on the Slap. His original pic was relatively devoid of tatts and chiseled abs, then he not quite fell, but sprinted into the rabbit hole of then modern douchitude by getting heavily tatted and extremely sneery.

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Wonder what sort of fish I would wish to slap him across the face with these days is all I’m sayin’

11:44 am September, 24 FredN. said...

Jonezy, how about we start with a good 20 lb bucket of wet, raw SMELT taken directly from our fair Lake Michigan shoreline?

11:45 am September, 24 Dickie Fingers said...

jonezy

you can’t beat a 3-4 pound fluke (summer flounder) when handing out fish slaps.

11:58 am September, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Is there a cultural phenomenon that douchebaggery dare not appropriate and warp, no matter how foreign and strange? Must we deal with an increasing number of irono-visual kei wankers getting dressed up for ’80s night at the local watering hole? Lookit me, I’m wearing neon tights, doing my hair up big, and dancing to Cindi Lauper. How ’80s is that!

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Yeah. You’re fucking glam alright.

11:59 am September, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

On that note, no one can ever get as ’80s-glam-metal as the Japanese.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXFvmPZp_98

12:03 pm September, 24 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

May I be the first on this intellectual forum to say Average Sophie looks like a dude.

12:47 pm September, 24 jonezy said...

I was actually thinking of using a Muskie.

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Had never heard of this fish before, but just about 1 year ago we went to Wisconsin for some golfing at some resort. So, there we are, tripping our faces off on a Sunday night at this lodge, drinking weird ass “mystery shots” that were just various schnappses mixed together, sort of chatting with the locals (though it may have been internal monologue, it’s all pretty hazy) and the crusty weird bartender comes up to us all excited, telling us “this lady down here caught a 30 lb Muskie today!”

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Naturally, we didn’t have a fucking clue what that meant or if it was even an impressive feat. Other than the fact a woman did it. So he sees our confusion (and fully dialated pupils), and points to the wall behind us where there is some huge stuffed Muskie on there.

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A Muskie seems like the perfect type of fish for slapping douche with.

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I think we bought the lady a shot for her accomplishment but I still didn’t even remember that had happened at all until, well, just now.

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Smelts are some good shit by the way. They are like nature’s original fish sticks.

12:48 pm September, 24 jonezy said...

^ I’m also shocked JD’s link is SFW.

12:52 pm September, 24 FredN. said...

Muskie – a word you’ll hear quite often on Wisconsin back roads. Or on Jonathan Brandmeier’s old show on The Loop, 97.9FM.

1:38 pm September, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Tripping was always fun.

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As a young man growing up near the beach on Cape Cod, there were many opportunities to run into recreational hallucinogens

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On one particular evening, three of us were tripping on orange micro dot and after striking out with every single woman on the planet at every party in town, we found ourselves in our own Troposphere laughing with every breath at everything, in 360 degree technicolor

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We strolled up from the beach to the ball field where the Hyannis Mets of the Cape Cod League play. The press box is a tall wooden structure about twenty steps up with a bench , counter and amazing views of the sunrise over the bay. We cracked some beers and awaited the rising fireball

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In the glome right before dawn, the sprinklers shut off and a multitude of seagulls arrived looking for tasty ground morsels.

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All at once, they spread out with dozens of them moving past the foul lines on each side. Then 9 sea gulls took positions on the ball field. One of them stepped about on home plate then started dashing towards first. There was a giant squawking sound as a couple outfielders ran towards a spot .

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Later we discussed this and chaulked it up to mass hallucinations.

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Until the old hippy dude we got the mescaline from told us that we were like the 20th people to tell him the same story

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So it must be true

3:21 pm September, 24 DarkSock said...

Bags should be slapped with the biggest Muskie possible. Which to my knowledge would be this one:

qwre

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