Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Joey Travolta's Nightmare

87

I suppose this could take place in my dreams, Jersey Angie.

A place where Joey Travolta, bastard half-brother of noted toupee wearing Hollywood redundancy, John, explodes in day-glo shirtwear as the soul of Jersey roasts on a spitfire like so many tortured demigods in satanic fury.

Although lately my dreams have tended to veer towards Denny’s bacon ice cream sundaes.

Because that’s what happens when Baby Ruins Libido.

in other news, I just formed an indie punk band called Baby Ruins Libido.

# posted by douchebag1
1:56 pm September, 4 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Please fill in the blank for his, I mean her, tattoo _____________ just in your dreams.

My entry- My head explodes and not just in your dreams

2:41 pm September, 4 DarkSock said...

She looks like cornfed fun, much like running 4-wheelers through a big mudhole, back and forth, in and out, until you look like the mudhole.
asfddfsa

2:44 pm September, 4 DarkSock said...

Also, might I posit for consideration for Honorary Douchebag one Mr. Ariel Castro, who hung his own punk ass after not being able to take one month of the sort of incarceration he inflicted on those three girls.
.
Douche-Rut Fuck-Nozzle.
.
Posit, I says.

3:11 pm September, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“I’m your skinny and attractive girlfriend……just in your dreams”

3:12 pm September, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“I don’t have matronly arms and a gunt…..just in your dreams”

3:15 pm September, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“I don’t look like I rode the short bus to school and was called “special” …..just in your dreams”

3:34 pm September, 4 killdoucher said...

i’d let her toss my salad!

3:37 pm September, 4 Vin Douchal said...

This is the most disturbing thread ever.

.

1) First of all that Douche-Hott coupling is questionable. He’s a bad dresser. She’d barely passable and would require major Beer Goggles© to even accept her offer of slurping head in the men’s room shittah.

.

HOWEVER this would backfire because most likely you’d get Whiskey Dick © from being drunk enough to accept slurping head from her, prolonging the slurping head until finally you either close your eyes and draw from the time you got GOOD head from that really hot waitress or actually just wank yourself to completion all over this skank’s shiny fivehead, that is if your ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE she won’t shank you or bite your cocck© off .

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2) Secondly, Plinky’s daughter troll…. I know Plinky and you , Sir, are no daughter of Plinky nor granchild of Plinky’s Mom©, that marvelous creature of mileage and flappage. Grrr!

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3) Mr Bean is fucking creepy, nyaa-aahh -aahh-ahhh

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4) Ariel Castro was an animal that should have been given a sentence of being forceabley raped with splintered baseball bats for the next ten years three times a day to coincide with the number of victims and years held captive. However, I wasn’t the sentencing judge.

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5) Although the word “Douchebag©” is tossed around a lot around here, you fuckers refuse to accept John Mayer as the mega Moster talent that he is , instead focusing on his douchey behavior. To this I say check out this mutha in this live concert captured at the House Of Blues on Sunset :

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LINK

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Yeah he’s a douche , but the fucker is amazing on that there guitar

3:44 pm September, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

^ Rant of the Week winner ? I say yes.

5:09 pm September, 4 Crucial Head said...

Vin Douchal will not let this aggression stand, man.

.

As for roller-derby girl, certain shit has come to light, and she just needs money, man. She needs to feed the monkey.

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Dudes.

5:21 pm September, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I agree with all but the Meyer on guitar. One in a thousand I says.

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And DB1, if the horny isn’t back after a month you got probsblems, Son. This is the time for anal if ever there was one. Unless her ass prolapsed into a Bloomin’ Onion. I seen it with my own dilated eyes, twice, and I still fuck that bitch 6 years later. And some other shit, Son. And some other shit. Kettlehead for HOS>

6:51 pm September, 4 DarkSock said...

^ an’ shit

.

Son

7:33 pm September, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think Dark Sock deserves a song for all his work and Pear and Shit. Maybe not like the one with the rebel Muslims cutting the heads off shit that got deleted. I agree that may have passed the censor before but that’s M90.com shit and I apologize to the new father. He don’t need that shit where his 25 day old can watch. Them kids don’t miss a beat these days. and shit Son. Stooooooooooned.

.

I agree with the Castro shit. Did he cut his head off? But the Magical President shit shouldn’t have been cut. Son.

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9:05 pm September, 4 The Dude said...

I agree that Vin’s rant is 1st place stuff, but the Hump Day clarity of Crucial Head deserves honorable mention.

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Says The Dude

5:53 am September, 5 FoghornLeghorn said...

“I am not a transgendered cement truck driver . . . . . just in your dreams”

5:54 am September, 5 FoghornLeghorn said...

“The carpet matches the drapes . . . . . just in your dreams”

5:54 am September, 5 FoghornLeghorn said...

“Those are not scabs on my cooter . . . . . just in your dreams”

6:40 am September, 5 John T. said...

Its not a toupee. I got my own exit, BITCH!

6:41 am September, 5 John T. said...

Just in your dreams.

8:10 am September, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Her, I’d give the time of day.

Him, not so much.

8:11 am September, 5 kneejerk said...

“Liposuction is free…..just in your dreams”

12:16 pm September, 6 speechless said...

There can be only ONE Lady Gag… with text tatts. Why the hell won’t anyone follow one… simple… rule…

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