Monday, September 23, 2013

Suburbia on Vacation

SuburbiaOnVacation

I see you, Pensive Art History major Carol, there in the front. You’re insecure about your smile, so I play you lute music on Pandora and we both ignore the annoying Christian Mingle ads that keep playing while we stare at an azure sunset and compare astronomy homework notes. Wait, you like the Beatles and Breaking Bad? Me too! It’s, like, fate. So, to wrap up this morning soliloquy, I promise to remain faithful through the end of this sentence and to poke your grandmother’s doiley with an ostrich feather while gargling one of your leftover pasties from that crazy night in Vegas. When this pic was taken.

Ring Around the Neck Tatts are the new sweater-vest.

# posted by douchebag1
12:02 pm September, 23 The Dude said...

“They won, they covered the spread! We’re in for the weekend!!”

12:02 pm September, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

If you and one of your bestest bros go and get matching script ring around the neck tatts, does that mean you’re gay ?

12:03 pm September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Blondie Milf-Mom emphatically expressed NO PHOTOS in her Ashley Madison ad. Now she’s lost the alimony AND child support….. stoopid frat douches …

12:06 pm September, 23 Dr Magnifico said...

Pensive Carol probably fucks like a champ.

12:09 pm September, 23 The Dude said...

Carol’s boob squish is delightful. So is the *douchebag-eject* button on the console.

.

.

Consoul

12:26 pm September, 23 FredN. said...

Question: Carol’s got bit tits, but anorexia (holocaust?) arms.

Answer: What

2:18 pm September, 23 Douchble Helix said...

I’m afraid to do this, but I agree with FredN.

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It’s like God Photoshopped Carol badly or shit.

2:42 pm September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Dude in back still does “Waaazzuup?” Bud Light commercial, ten years after it’s Super Bowl commercial debut.

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Way to keep up dude in back

3:16 pm September, 23 DarkSock said...

Actually, Vin, the way to address “Waaazzzuppp 10 years after Guy” in the back is via the old “Bud Light Salutes YOU, Mr. Won’t Let The Old Meme Die Guy” radio ads.

3:17 pm September, 23 DarkSock said...

Dr. Mag is right; Pensive Carol would, unlike Purple Labia Nasty Milf, pound you in private like you were a two dollar steak.

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Precisely BECAUSE she looks like Geddy Lee’s lil’ sis.

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Nasty Not-Really-Blonde-MILF gives half-hearted blowies.

5:49 pm September, 23 killdoucher said...

those short bus girls sure end up with nice bewbs!

6:12 pm September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have to agree with Dark Sock’s deep perspective into the House Of Lee. You can get rid of your guitar. You can get new tits. But you just can’t beat ugly.

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Maybe with a stick?

6:15 pm September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That guy on the left isn’t half bad. I’d smoke the bad pipe with him.

6:16 pm September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

FredN almost pulled the Godwin.

8:18 pm September, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Is that Tom Cruise behind Gorilla Arms?

9:31 pm September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The suburbs have no charms to cool the reckless dreams of Douche.

9:33 pm September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The suburbs only delay the despair of the concrete and temptation of the caged cities with sweatervests. And that Sir, is no sweatervest.

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Preppies

9:08 am September, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Ring Around the Neck Tatts are the new rectal suppository

9:08 am September, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Ring Around the Neck Tatts are the new handicap parking license plate

9:09 am September, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Ring Around the Neck Tatts are the new endotracheal tube

9:10 am September, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Ring Around the Neck Tatts are the new Richard Simmons short shorts

9:51 am September, 24 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Spindly Ken down front with the early paunch needs to hit a weight room. Or rake the yard. Or engage in anything more strenuous than playing 2 hrs of Grand Theft Auto.

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