Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Wednesday Limerick

104

There was a bar playah named Jake,

Whom Evil Yellow Sunball thought was a flake,

His shirt did unbutton,

Like a white Charles Dutton,

To impress a bar wench cut to look like Veronica Lake.

# posted by douchebag1
1:07 pm September, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Tony the aging bartending tool.

Chin fung and exposed shaved chest, he thought he was cool.

Co-bartender Tina entertained the crowd with her wit.

But all the guys just stared at her fake tits.

Together they worked the bar every night, selling overpriced drinks to every douchebag fool.

2:01 pm September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Jake likes to grab and grope

Like an illiterate monkey dope

But Vicky, she knows

The other way he goes

In the men’s room he drops the soap

2:05 pm September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

A shaved ass gibbon naked Jake

Hugs the barkeep when he goes on break

But her senses repulse

Forcing a gag impulse

‘Cause he’s a foul breathed snake

2:06 pm September, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I say that’s young Ellen Barken

And I’d take her BJ, if she’d just harken

As to the chin-fung ‘Bag

Let’s find him a hag

Or two black eyes that darken

2:09 pm September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

There once was a douchebone named Jake

His mom didn’t abort her mistake

So the females he bugs

With uninvited hugs

Gets shot down when he tries to mate

2:11 pm September, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The background looks like stars

Just like all the other Vegas bars

What would really be cool

Is if someone clocked the Tool

Or at least ran him over with their cars

2:12 pm September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Jake says he’s friend with the DJ

Thinks this info will spark some sex play

Veronica won’t spread

‘Less he’s got some big bread

So he goes back to dancing ballet

2:16 pm September, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

On the table there’s a shaker of salt

On her lips was the order to halt

But the ‘Bag is daft

Like a listless raft

So he continues this groping fault.

2:16 pm September, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Jake is unbuttoned, untucked

To make sure we know he’s a schmuck

He shaves his chest

Who knows ’bout the rest

To find out would surely suck

2:20 pm September, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

She wears a little black dress

She’s standing by a douchey mess

Give her a cattle prod

So she can light up his rod

And give this an outcome that’s best

3:50 pm September, 18 The Dude said...

A bartender choosing chin fung

Claims to this hott he’s quite hung

But that doesn’t matter

cuz she’s heard the chatter

about his preference for dung

,

hole

6:38 pm September, 18 The Dude said...

There once was an aging Barkin

Old barmaid looked for a farkin’

Ran into a bartender

With roofies in his blender

And now her monkeyhole’s barkin’

6:44 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

There once was a man-scaped young guido

Who secretly rocked a pink Speedo;

He macked Josephine’s young bung,

When he found “she” was hung

He commenced fellatin,’ yelling “Neato!”

6:47 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

After chugging fifteen apple ciders

Joey managed to get up inside her;

Her axe wound he started to lap on,

Passed out, then out came her strap-on;

He now has a sore barking spider.

6:49 pm September, 18 DarkSock said...

A silicone barmaid named Kersey

Threw Johnny a fuck once for mercy;

He roofied her drink,

Pulled out of the pink,

And lunged up the highway called Hershey.

10:24 pm September, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There once was a boy named Bruce

Who loved girls tending to loose

So he went for went for this chick

And she turned on him quick

While she fisted his prolapsed caboose.

12:00 am September, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Armondo is not quite the thinker

And his dangle makes all the girls snicker

So in lieu of hugs

He owns many butt plugs

Which explains his draw-string sphincter.

12:05 am September, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

To Veronica, I would daily fap

Though she’s sullied by Jesus bling and chin strap

But I take comfort in knowing

His reputation is growing

For liking appendages inserted where dwells his crap

12:58 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Young Turkman Detritus

Was in the foot the fleetest

He ran through the yard

Like a fucking retard

And said any boy’s ass I will eatest.

3:59 am September, 19 xd said...

most people who wear big ass crosses are douchebags, amiright?

7:03 am September, 19 Dickie Fingers said...

Jake thought Veronica was his type

though not usually fussy, tonite she was busy

washing her hair while Jake

ended up with a banana in his tail pipe.

8:21 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

When fondling a Russian whore

Plenty of Hennessy do pour

She’ll get drunk, she’ll get wet

And her vulva you’ll pet

Whilst lying on the barroom floor

8:30 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This Bleeth I have seen

On this site, since a teen

She has a face

I would spray with mace

She does nothing for my peen

8:41 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This open shirted fool

Over this girl does drool

Even though her snapper

Smells like the crapper

What a friggin’ J’drool

8:47 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Make a limerick out a this…

Bleeth

Sheath

Akin

Foreskin

Teeth

8:49 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Or a stand alone, 5-Word Limerick

Slap

Fwap

Priapism

Jism

Crap

8:50 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

They say brevity is the sole of wit. I’ve always looked at it as laziness.

.

Remiss

Bliss

Jump

Dump

Piss

9:10 am September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

The stand alone, 5-Word Limerick FTW. LOLZ!

2:03 am September, 20 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Okay DW, I’m game.

.

Jacob only sought out the bleeth

Too drunk to notice his mangled sheath

For at his bris was males akin

Who did not have their foreskin

Removed by a drunk mohel with his teeth

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