Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

7:46 am October, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My mother sexuallIy abused me so much after I had set my wedding date that I could never look at Helen Hunt tits the same way again.

9:09 am October, 27 DarkSock said...

Don’t forget to stuff the roll of socks down your pants. Son.

12:48 pm October, 27 DarkSock said...

Lou Reed just died.

.

Colored Girls.

1:09 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

No need to mess up a perfectly good pair of socks when there’s The Ball Lifter™.

.

http://www.brieftales.com/store/index.asp?DEPARTMENT_ID=197

1:11 pm October, 27 Tanath said...

Button…hard!

1:14 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I know what you mean, Rev. The right one just kind of hangs there like a slab of silly putty in a warm room that hasn’t been touched in eight years.

.

Much like Helen Hunt’s tits haven’t been touched in at least as long.

1:23 pm October, 27 The Dude said...

The Ball Lifter seems to have a legit convenience to prevent sitting on your nuts. Just sayin’.

1:26 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I personally don’t need a shirt to enhance my already appreciable pectorals.

.

Yeah, eat your fucking heart out.

2:35 pm October, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I always hated Lou Reed.

.

“And the colored girls sing, dead, dead, dead,deaddeaddead….”

2:39 pm October, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Also, The Rev’s mother sexually abused me with a pan of russet potatoes au gratin, a mink glove, pinking shears and corduroy gussets.

2:46 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The Rev’s mother sexually abused me with an aquarium pump, a bowling pin, and three tubs of chocolate flavored Cool Whip.

2:57 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The Rev’s mother sexually abused me with a 50 lb sack of rolled oats, a lava lamp, a rusted pair of nail clippers, and a Ball Lifter.

3:00 pm October, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

The Rev’s mother sexually abused me a “World’s #1 Dad” coffee mug full of used transmission fluid, a partially used tube of toothpaste, a Boston Terrier, and a grain thresher.

8:50 pm October, 27 creature said...

if labia tasted like bacon, i’d eat more snatch

8:58 pm October, 27 The Dude said...

The Rev’s mother sexually abused me with a bunch of Lou Reed B sides.

8:59 pm October, 27 The Dude said...

Laurie Anderson can abuse me any way she wants. Too soon?

9:01 pm October, 27 The Dude said...

The Rev’s mother makes me wear a Ball Lifter™ before she sexually abuses me. But she pays extra.

10:41 pm October, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I was just out for Mrs Kroeger’s 45th birthday at the in-laws (respek) and my mother sexually assaulted a bald fish while she apologized for her crimes against humanity whilst fitting me with a Ball Lifter.

,

And I’m with DW about Lou Reed. He weren’t no Iggy Poo. But I’ll give him his right and propers. Or as the coloured girls say “props.”

12:37 am October, 28 Guid is Good said...

Brah does not approve. Not mirin.

11:58 am October, 28 DarkSock said...

The Rev’s mother sexually abused me with a moose polyp and 3 tablespoons of corn starch. Son.

12:18 pm October, 28 SonnyChibaChoad said...

What, no tatts on the Insta-Bro bodystocking? Only a matter of time before the Ed Hardy model.

4:23 pm November, 2 Jeff said...

He sure loves feeling up his new boobs — probably the only boobs he’s ever felt up in his life.

.

Assuming his wet dreams come true and Polly Pureheart is smitten with him and they end up back in his mom’s basement, er, I mean at his apartment, do you think she’ll be thrilled to find that his falsies are bigger than hers?

.

Years ago in Playboy, there was a cartoon showing a ditzy bimbo lying beside a sunbathing bodybuilder and he’s saying to her, “They’re not tits, they’re pecs.” This douchebag will have his own version: “They’re not pecs, they’re pillows.”