Monday, October 14, 2013

Reader Mail: This is Sheldon

Sheldon1Sarah writes in with a Sheldon tag:

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From: Sarah

Subject: Gel Haired Douchey douche

This is Sheldon. He is Indian. That is his girlfriend. Sheldon’s hair is crisp, you could break it off, he loads it with gel. He also lifts, but more than that he talks about lifting. he wears chains around his neck, and flashy v-neck t-shirts. Besides wearing more jewelry than most girls I know, he also takes more selfies. He is a douche, inside and out. And his chick isn’t all that hot either.

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Well tagged, Sarah. I especially appreciate the koan-like writing style. Short. To the point. Like early Hemingway. Or perhaps a mix between drugged up 1970s-era Dr. Seuss and this.

# posted by douchebag1
2:27 pm October, 14 DarkSock said...

“A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon’s your man… but humpin’ and pumpin’ is not Sheldon’s strong suit. It’s the name. ‘Do it to me Sheldon, you’re an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.’ …..Doesn’t work.”

2:30 pm October, 14 The Dude said...

Lukewarm Pupae with Douchebags.

2:41 pm October, 14 Guid is Good said...

Old Indian folktale – The Two Caterpilars and the Douchebag.

2:54 pm October, 14 Wheezer said...

I’m curious to see more of Sheldon’s chick. You know, for observational purposes.

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Fappers

2:56 pm October, 14 Douchble Helix said...

If you didn’t click the first link, it’s a ‘bag selfie.

2:57 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Is he a Casino Indian or a 7-11 Indian?

3:10 pm October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

We don’t have to worry about Sheldon anymore. He went home and this happened:

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3:12 pm October, 14 Wheezer said...

The name “Sheldon” doesn’t have a good history here, anyway.

3:20 pm October, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Sarah sounds a little bitter. Speculating that maybe Sheldon gave her a taste of his curry and then dumped her ass for the above hot. Just a thought.

3:58 pm October, 14 Steve said...

From Dunkin’ Donuts to Dunkin Deeznuts.

4:32 pm October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wheezer compartmentalizes.

5:07 am October, 15 Guid is Good said...

Sheldon should outsource his douchebaggery to Bangalore.

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Hang on …

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