Thursday, December 5, 2013

Boston Bound

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Speaking of wigga tool pantload crapstain koala spittle yak in a noose hanging from a eucalyptus tree wrong.

So it goes, Billy Bob and Katie.

Your humb narrs, HC1, and, of course, BC1, are all on a plane headed home to Boston.

Our mission: Allowing my grandparents, newly minted as great-grandparents, to oggle my spawn.

On a related note, “Oggle My Spawn” the working title of the Osmond’s Christmas Specials back in the 70s?

# posted by douchebag1
7:30 am December, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Take that thing off your darlin’ daughter’s head. She will hate you for making her look retarded. I know. Charles Douchewin is right about kids wearing shitty old furry hooded parkas as douche trend. They are everywhere in Ottawa. You kids weren’t cool enough for the 70’s.

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I gotta write an exam drunk again, fuck.

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Good flight to you DB1 and fuck you all.

7:37 am December, 5 Dickie Fingers said...

Best of luck on the exam Rev. And fuck you all.

7:49 am December, 5 Dan said...

You’re bringing a newborn on a cross-country plane ride?

That’s a douchebag move.

9:30 am December, 5 Vin Douchal said...

Gotta take in a Big Bad Bruins game while your there . Lucic having a banner year with the stick and fists

9:48 am December, 5 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Abe Vigoda’s granddaughter above need some better bling if she is going to hang with this tool.

9:53 am December, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Happy holidays, Chief!

9:55 am December, 5 Dickie Fingers said...

Dan mailing the kid cross country would be a douchebag move.

9:56 am December, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

In light of Hanz von Poopen-something-something turning out to be gayer than vanilla scented polyester trousers, we’re going to have to scrap the 2013 and 2014 Douchies and start fresh.

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Onward with the 2017 Douchies!

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Douchiest Facial Hair: Wigga Tool Pantload Crapstain

This guy reminds me of an ex-coworker. He was also a gangly white guy with a wispy teenager chinstrap. A UCLA dropout from the mean streets of Santa Clarita, he blamed all his ills, such as getting fired and wife leaving him, on someone else. Never mind that he would leave work early without telling anyone and had an affair with a subordinate. All his money woes were from oppressive taxation and child support, not spending his entire paycheck at the Indian gaming casino every week.

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Man the fuck up.

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Quit yer bitching, hold yourself accountable for your own actions, get back to work, and quit voting Democrat. Your jaw pubes don’t make you look manly. They make you look like an asshat trying to hide a soft jaw line with the little bit of peach fuzz they have.

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I’m out. AFYA (And fuck you all).

9:56 am December, 5 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

When my darlin’ daughter was a wee one, her mom kept trying to put the friggin’ ribbon thing on her head. I told her the damn thing had to go! (As a dad, you gotta put your foot down!) I thought it made her look like a baby freak show. Of course, now she’s all grown up and tatted up like a Sunday comics section, so I guess you can only forestall freak show so long.

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Oh, and fuck you all very much!

10:22 am December, 5 Crucial Head said...

I’m all in on Jacques single-handedly bearing the load of the Douchies. The thought makes my entendre doubly hard.

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Fuck you all and everything you love.

10:23 am December, 5 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Haseth our fearless leader forsaken us?

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.For forsooth or something! Verily not have we located a hot chick as I yonder gazeth upon said mistresses’ countenance?

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.And behold! He iseth but a jacksnappe and a gutter-snipe….best suited for preening canker-blossoms.

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.That, and I’d like to puncheth his lights out.

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.p.s. Rev Chad is right about dressing (female, mostly) babies up with all kinds of fake headwear and jewelry and ribbons and shit. BABIES ARE CUTE ENOUGH JUST LIKE THEY ARE!!! They’re born that cute for a reason….so we don’t abandon their hag asses like the skank-hoes (some of them – respeck) end up being.

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.The Old Choad has been through enough (skanks and hoes and grandkids*) to know this.

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* p.s.s. YES there are actual GRANDPARENTS who love HCWDB….live with it you fucking juvenile delinquents…..and please keep up the juvenile mocking.

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;-)**

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.** emoticon used precisely because it is such a grandparent-y thing to do.

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10:24 am December, 5 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

….and I believe there’s been a Crucial Head sighting.

11:02 am December, 5 purpledrank said...

If that is a Philadelphia Eagles jersey on Billy Bob pant load, whoop they it is. Pre gender reassignment surgery “Katie” indicating post-assignment surgery size of sump’n disgusting.

Snippers

11:56 am December, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Agreed with VIn D, B’s game a must, Lucic wears the 17 with honor like some of his predecessors (Stan Jonathan, Nevin Markwart). Whilst is the town of Bean get’s you some pizza, might I suggest Santarpios if not I’m assuming there is some trendy pizza joint in Coolidge Corners.

12:11 pm December, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ain’t enough magic in that there medallion to cure him of his epic wigga douchiness or her of looking like Iggy Pop.

12:45 pm December, 5 Wheezer said...

Boss, BC1 is absolutely adorable! Have I said that before? Be a proud papa and show her off as much as you want!

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