Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Bowzer Wins the Pear Lottery

BowzerWinsThePearLottery

Proving yet again that to score the beach ladies you don’t need a job, a car, or even the ability to form words with more than one syllable. You just need to own various sundry water equipment.

And by various sundry water equipment, I mean Bowzer’s secret stash of choloform soaked beer cozies.

# posted by douchebag1
2:10 pm December, 18 jonezy said...

I bet Stevie Janowski was taking this picture here

2:14 pm December, 18 Vin Douchal said...

She could hack squat a baby elephant.

.

He could charm the banana away from a chimpanzee

.

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Which is why they are no longer welcome at the zoo

2:23 pm December, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I know I’m stating the obvious here, but that is a spectacular ass.

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And I’m leaning towards giving Bowzer a pass. No obvious douche signifiers and to be quite blunt, I don’t think he’s getting any work as a male model. If he can get his hands on that ass with the look he’s got and a jet ski, more power to him.

2:26 pm December, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She looks like my idealized version of a hard body and tan good looking Amy Winehouse. Am I right when I say that DW?

.

I need a boat and to be single. Is that too much to ask?

2:46 pm December, 18 A said...

I’m with Magnum in that he doesn’t seem like an obvious DB. What a pear though!

3:04 pm December, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Notta! Just a harmless doofuss having some fun at the lake about to become the Jed Clampett of pear!

3:17 pm December, 18 Guid is Good said...

Bowzer may not have any home equity but he does have pear. How does microeconomic theory deal with that?

3:22 pm December, 18 Guid is Good said...

Owning a jet ski must be close to auto-douche unless it is solely used for towing in in 40 foot Hawaiian surf.

3:32 pm December, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That Pear gives new meaning to the phrase, “Swamp Ass.”

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My Dear Good Rev, I don’t believe Amy Winehouse ever had a Goolie like that one there. Goolie, I says. For even before she was heroin addled, her mulatto (?)(respect) physique was more streamlined.

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My apologies to the mulattos (respect) amongst us, as I was never clear if Ms Winehouse had a mixed heritage. And by mixed, I’m not quite sure what I mean.

3:47 pm December, 18 Douchble Helix said...

Nice ass. I give a notta. It’s Christmas.

4:06 pm December, 18 Tackle Box said...

Winehouse’s parents were both Jewish.

4:44 pm December, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Thank you Douchey Wallnuts. My future path is now clear.

Do any of you guys not believe that there is a Lenny The Box who grows weed and is my chaffeur and I work stoned and drunk on the road?

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Lenny asked.

5:37 pm December, 18 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

We believe Rev. Tis the season to believe.

6:02 pm December, 18 Massadouchetts said...

I would “Dip-tiddy-dip”

in her “Shang-a-dang-a-lang-a-dang”

Just on the outside…

6:30 pm December, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Everybody should have a Lenny the Box to call on in their time of need. And by time of need, I mean everyday.

7:01 pm December, 18 Sir Douche said...

I think you meant “coozies.”

9:05 pm December, 18 The Dude said...

That jet ski needs to be a prop in a Bond flick, and get scorched in an Act 2 escape scene.

.

Scorched, I says

2:31 am December, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Alejandro Jodorowsky built a little temple in that ass and decorated it with six dozen half size crucifixes made from raku glazed pie dough.

6:15 am December, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mississippi Chocolate Rooster Tail

Usually bestowed by drunken girlfriends riding upon the shoulders of their boyfriends at concerts while shouting “Wooooo!” with so much gusto that they momentarily lose the grip of their sphincter, releasing a torrent of the previous night’s Taco Bell visit down the gentleman’s back – much like a chocolate rooster tail.

” Yo – Charline gave Tommy a Mississippi Chocolate Rooster Tail at the Phish concert last night, Brah! Totally ruined his Ed Hardy tee, son!”

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