Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Kissing the Behemoth of Choad

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The Behemoth of Choad was at the top of the Alpha Omega Nu kegging hierarchy for most of 2011 and parts of 2012. Then graduation came, the Behemoth of Choad finished that degree in pre-med pre-law and was forced to get a job manage his father’s credit assets.

But the party never ends for the Behemoth of Choad. He just wears a suit and tie when he has to. Otherwise: it’s beer, bitches, and Balzac.

Because the Behemoth of Choad enjoys classic French literature.

So you can understand Cheryl’s inability to control her carnal desires.

Next thing you know, it’s time for dual yoga at the beach.

Do not judge Cheryl and the Behemoth of Choad too harshly. For if not them, then who will watch TMZ at the Buffalo’s Wild Wings bar while guffawing into a Bud Light Lime for the next ten years? Someone’s gotta do it. Might as well be them.

# posted by douchebag1
7:32 am December, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He’s no Pumpy.

7:54 am December, 11 Charles Douchewin said...

Cut the B.O.C. some slack!

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Haven’t you seen the picture? He’s clearly just saved a busload of pregnant nuns from an explosion in the Post-it™ Note factory. And this is his real-life Michael Bay moment of closure, for a heroically stressful day.

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He even lost his friggin’ shirt to all the action!

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The Behemoth of Choad is a hero. And by hero, I mean choad.

7:59 am December, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

One of the Eight Douche Wonders of the World.

8:14 am December, 11 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Cheryl was surprised when she discovered it was Kissing Day at the ape exhibit at the zoo.

8:15 am December, 11 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

And by “French Literature” I mean the carton his McDonald’s Fries came in.

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AFYA

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Sons

8:49 am December, 11 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

The Colossus of Choads!!!

8:52 am December, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Joan Largewoman gets on stage and takes the mic screaming “The Jonas Brothers concert ended three hours ago. Will you two please get the fuck out of here so we can clean all this crap up.”

9:16 am December, 11 Charles Douchewin said...

^ Because by “crap”, she means them.

11:12 am December, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Joan Largewoman gets on stage and takes the mic screaming “The porch beef concession stand is now open. Get it while its hot?”

11:42 am December, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Joan Largewoman gets on stage and takes the mic screaming, “Quit macking and get that broom! That confetti ain’t gonna sweep itself!”

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