Friday, December 27, 2013

Post Christmasy Thoughts and Links

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Oh sexy Librarian Hott Brunette Brenda. How you fall for herspter stank like a euthanized koala falls off a eucalyptus tree.

Such a shame, as my talc powder won’t butt glute powder itself. As far as you know.

It’s that quiet time of year at the ole’ DB1 household. Well, except for the screaming ball of giggles and poo who demands to be fed all day.

She’s like a creative succubus. Lost are many hours of output on work stuffs. But gained is the cute. So I got that going for me.

Was hoping to offer at least a day of 2013 Douchie Awards, but alas, have not been able to do that. My apologies. The Douchie Awards will always be with us in some form, but what with getting up all night to feed the screaming one and making sure HC1 gets her due attentions, time is of the essence.

But we will carry on the Mock into 2014 as best as we can.

Here’s yer minimal links:

Your HCwDB Buy Some Shit on Amazon to Support the Site Link of the Week: “Oh, please don’t go—we’ll eat you up—we love you so!” BC1 will be raised on a steady diet of Sendak and 70s Sesame Street.

Classic Douchemas. Almost makes me nostalgic for the early days of HCwDB. Almost.

File under stupid shirts: Booze, Bitches, and Bath Salts. For people who can’t actually form sentences.

Fake gangster dupes Australian reality show. In a related story, face tatts are forever.

Remember last week’s Skullbro? Turns out eating skulls pays off on Spring Break. Ubiquitous Red Cup does not approve.

While in Las Vegas, Karl met Vinnie, a Pickup Artist.

Faux.

Okay, that’s all I gots. Here’s ya go:

Pearcone.

EDIT: Whoops, had a fragmented publication, which for those of you in relationships know is never a good thing for building trust. Full version is now up.

# posted by douchebag1
5:11 pm December, 27 Wheezer said...

No worries, Boss – you can always just say you dumped some Enfamil on your keyboard or something.

5:33 pm December, 27 The Dude (remote loc) said...

The Bebbeh BeJeezle forgives you, Boss. It was kinda fun experiencing “Comments turned off” at the Pear (End) of a brand new post. In a related matter, I need a helmet sign says that.

5:39 pm December, 27 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Keeping with the holiday spirit, and mocking the toasted turds in Douchemas, I offer the opening verse to “O Tanning Bomb”:

.

Douchenuts roasting in a tanning booth

Jack Frost nipping at your hose

Yuletide carolers being hung by the fire

And folks dressed like Eskihoes

5:55 pm December, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Booze, Bitches and Balt Salts,” is the title of Donkey Douche’s autobiography.

5:58 pm December, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Cunts, Cialis, and Canucks,” is the title of The Rev’s autobiography.

6:52 pm December, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^My brother got another dirty email today, fucker. More “I love your Judas-sized cock in my ass” stuff. Did The Dude copy you again DW?

.

Face Eaters

7:20 pm December, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

No, I got one that mentioned how purple it gets when she squeezes it.

4:35 am December, 28 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Reminds me of that ‘Bag on HCwDB in days of yore: he bangs bitches and drinks. Now bring him the bath salts.

5:52 am December, 28 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Also, the idea of Brenda’s half shirt gives me the renoBs.

7:08 pm December, 28 Douchble Helix said...

“Librarian”?

.

“…sexy Librarian Hott Brunette Brenda…”

4:44 am December, 29 DouceYouWannaDance said...

“Pearcone” looks good, but any woman that so accurately demonstrates the “standing at the urinal” pose always gives me pause.

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