Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Poutface Toasts the Golden Globes

PoutFace

Silk scarf tucked into sweater violates the Virgin Mary’s little drummer boy.

Spicey Valencia jiggles like futuristic pudding.

# posted by douchebag1
11:23 am December, 11 Scooby Douche said...

That there is some prodigious sweater meat!

11:31 am December, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

They both need to buy a new bra. And poutface needs to teed up for a field goal attempt by Sharkeisa.

11:59 am December, 11 The Dude said...

At first I considered the faint possibility that Poutface is kidding around with that expression. In the context of his other douche indicators, however, he really needs a Sharkeisan jolt.

12:19 pm December, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Spicey Valencia is everything that is wonderful about this country’s failed immigration program.

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and I think Poutface just realized someone pissed in his champagne glass

12:38 pm December, 11 Vin Douchal said...

I’ll take this Douchie

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“Most Unlikely FopBag 2013”, Poutface

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Poutface is a neuvo-pseudo-intelligentsia, driving up the Gowanus Expressway to Brooklyn for free wine tastings and horrible graffitti art shows. He claims to know Banksey and can freely quote Kerouac after memorizing short statements written on 3×5’s in his back pocket while using the men’s room

.

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In actuality, Poutface works for a cement company as the guy that digs out the reusable super flexible concrete form. If he accidentally snaps one, he gets docked.

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He lost an index finger when the mixer shoot jammed and he drew low straw to stick the pole up all in there. The mixer grabbed the broom handle, spinning wildly costing him a finger and a splinter that went in his neck almost severing his jugular. When a hippie chick got disgusted at the scar, he decided to invest in scarves for all occasions

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Poutface practices glancing, squinting, I’m listening intently and slow, knowing nods in the mirror. He has a NY Yankees logo tattooed on his ass and once talked to the doorman that knew the driver that delivered Nobu take out for Derek Jeter’s tailor.<br.

.

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His mom’s name is “Lou” and his dad’s name is “Carol” . He is uncircumcised and takes prescription medication for a recurring and uncurable, unyielding, relentless yeast infection in his cocck pouch.

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You win Pitface >>>> er! <<<< Poutface. Take your iron and leave

1:00 pm December, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is one of the ugliest fuckin guys I’ve ever seen.

1:25 pm December, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

“I think Poutface just realized someone pissed in his champagne glass”

.

Don’t piss in my champagne glass and tell me it’s raining.

2:22 pm December, 11 sanlouis kidd said...

His right eye, is it glass?Her ,,,,boobs

2:38 pm December, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That chick looks just like one of my hookers. And by just like one of my hookers I mean with a penis and underbite.

6:46 pm December, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Poutface wants us to know that 2012 was not a very fine year for gutter oil

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gutter_oil

He gives this vintage a Parker rating equal to the square root of fuckall.

6:56 pm December, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Valencia is curvalicious so long as you don’t mind a pair of panties as large as the mainsail of a 3 masted schooner hanging from you doorknob.

4:13 am December, 12 Guid is Good said...

I think we could live with that ^ for a couple of hours at least.

4:15 am December, 12 Guid is Good said...

This art-house remake of Weekend at Bernies blows.

4:18 am December, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I call it Blue Steel

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