Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Greasepitzer and Eve Find Love in a Country Music Song

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Waves are crashin’ on the seashore…

I stand around and rub my pee sore …

How all this time I was rehashin’…

The joys of love, the pains of groin rashin’…

And so I flex these pecs and pat tatts!!…

To honor the purity of her glute matts…

For life’s a game of getting paid to pose…

At weddings, Bar Mitvahs, and numerous trade shows in the greater Chicago area…

— “My Lonely Heart Is a Hot Chick and a Douchebag” by Garth Pitz

# posted by douchebag1
2:27 pm December, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Girl Guide Cookies is the new Durban Poison.

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2:33 pm December, 10 hermit said...

I’ll save Jacques the trouble and pronounce this the 2013 Guggenheim Winner.

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The image of these two pustules burned against a clear and lovely pastel sunset is like an angry, oozing genital blister defiling the pure and virtuous taint of Julie Andrews in the original “Sound of Music.”

2:34 pm December, 10 hermit said...

Which begs the question, how do you solve a problem like Maria?

.

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Valtrex

2:42 pm December, 10 Charles Douchewin said...

Loose the hat, for christsakes!

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And in keeping with the theme of other inappropriately dressed douchebags at the beach.

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Sorry there, all you tricky dick lovers.

2:45 pm December, 10 Vin Douchal said...

How many delicious fish in that beautiful ocean died from this greasey fucck’s fuccen grease? Stop the insanity

3:01 pm December, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

where is a tsunami when you need one ?

3:29 pm December, 10 The Dude said...

Can’t a big shark swim up and take him for a ride?

4:24 pm December, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She must be special.

5:19 pm December, 10 Guid is Good said...

The Greasepitzer looks like one of those mangy pelicans that washed up after BP went to town on it in the Gulf of Mexico. Where is the EPA when you really need them?

6:04 pm December, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Ho-lee mo-lee, look at her!

9:39 pm December, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Shark? Sharkeisha.

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6:10 am December, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

And just off in the distance an out-of -control speedboat is racing towards the shore piloted by a drunken hero ready to make a difference in the world.

7:02 am December, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

A swimming monkey?

7:33 am December, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Quick, call the Coast Guard! There’s an oil slick out on the beach! Come for the hottie in danger, stay for the side boob.

8:21 am December, 11 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

The latest debris to wash ashore from the Japanese tsunami… Slugzilla. Radio”Axe”tive breath!

10:38 am December, 11 Dickie Fingers said...

He still has his stupid Compton hat on. Good monkey!

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