Friday, January 17, 2014

Friday Thoughts and Links

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I don’t know what’s going on here and I don’t want to know.

Sailor hotts cohabiting with rippled Pringlebags smell like feta cheese under a Tuscan sun.

Your humb narrs doesn’t know much these days.

Diapers and working on a new book define my life.

What I do know is that I heard Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street on Sirius yesterday and it was glorious. The chorus is a freakin’ sax riff fer crissakes. 70s music is before my time but the fact that this amazing song was even produced in a sea of bad disco inferno and skyrockets in flight makes it even more of a masterpiece.

On to the good stuff.

Here’s yer links:

Your HCwDB Buy Some Shit on Amazon to Support the Site Link of the Week: “This city desert makes you feel so cold, It’s got so many people, but it’s got no soul, And it’s taken you so long, To find out you were wrong, When you thought it held everything.”

Remember Crimson Paul Bunyon? Turns out he’s a something something Sons of Anarchy something something.

1990s Action Cinema summarized in two seconds.

Every single Hot Weather Girl compiled in a single website. Because internet.

Celebrities read mean tweets. Almost makes up for the inexplicable fact that Jimmy Kimmel is somehow incredibly famous and successful.

Middle Eastern terrorists are so stupid, they can’t even spell Los Angeles correctly on their flight jackets.

Oklahoma man charged with using an atomic wedgie to kill his father. “Wedgie.” The word still traumatizes me. Looking at you, assholes from Senior Bunk, Camp Kingswood, 1985.

Okay, lets get to the good stuff:

SelfiePear

When the iPhone is upgraded with a fancy lens, then the Pear will come into autofocus.

# posted by douchebag1
12:37 pm January, 17 san lous kid said...

the pear this week is serious weaksauce, WHF?

12:45 pm January, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Interesting Crimson Paul Bunyon / Rusty Coones interview. His music isn’t my cup of tea but may have to give him a notta pass via the musician leniency rule.

1:14 pm January, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah…
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjiWS__Mp0

1:41 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Self Pear is the delicious photographer, Jeneh Yamamoto. A tatted, smoky, sensual and unabashed beauty known as “Gypsy One”
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Her Twitter account is an afternoon’s worth of viewing, complete with douchebag boyfriend.
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She’d kill me in the sack but it’d be worth it :
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“How’d he go, Doc?”
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“His groin exploded, then brain atrophy ”
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“EW ……. do you have Jeneh’s number?”

2:04 pm January, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Columbo was only wrong about his car.

2:13 pm January, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Hey Rev
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been doin’ some home construction projects lately?
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http://elitedaily.com/humor/this-homemade-sex-doll-is-the-most-horrifying-thing-youll-see-all-day/

2:55 pm January, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Nice GSR.
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Jen Selter gives video interview. You know, the broad with the nice ass.
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http://gawker.com/woman-with-worlds-most-instagrammed-ass-gives-rare-v-1503389741?utm_source=recirculation&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=fridayPM

3:47 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

I would squeeze a rabid gray wolf’s nads only to have him chase me through a patch of poison oak that’s infection can only be cured by an Inupiat Eskimo’s first post-vasectomy urine while having my taint fondled by meerkats just to have the speculum used to diagnose Jen Selter’s grandmother’s menopause to eat my ice cream right out of the container
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Yeah, be careful what you help yourself to at my place

4:40 pm January, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I would lick a dysentary-plagued Honey Badger ass whilst it is in recovery from a cobra bite in the middle of a swarm of Africanized Killer Bees naked with a red boner covered with honey while listening to NWA at 130 decibels for the mere chance to sniff the lampshade made from Jen’s great Bubby so that in her viewing of my Hebe-Love she might let me sniff a bottled queef left by her brother Herschel before he left to fight the Moslems..and shit.
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Honey Badger ain’t got no time for dat.

4:46 pm January, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dr. Bunsen
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I wouldn’t hit that. As far as construction projects go I’m fucked at the moment. Was going to renovate the kitchen while they don’t need my guidance at the Mrs. consulting firm where I work as Senior Genius during the slow season, but am stuck in the fog of alcohol withdrawal as i try to lower my GGT level so I can drive again. Fuck you Canadian 67! Light beer is shit. Thank G-d for the Cymbalta and Lyrica and GabaPentin and Clonazepam and weed Sons.
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And a merry old weekend to all. And you should go back to Thursdays last post for the poetry of Crucial Head that most of you missed.

5:20 am January, 18 Douchble Helix said...

Dr., your link doesn’t seem to work.

7:25 am January, 18 dwallnuts on xboxone said...

That DIY sex doll is the product of a serial killer. That being said, it reminds me of Nanette Fabray, who was an all-time lousy lay.

7:46 am January, 18 Charles Douchewin said...

Troy Tempest, you are missing the message here. Didn’t you listen to her interview?
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Her mission is inspiration, not commodification!
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Hers is the beautiful example that through focus, dedication, and sacrifice, everyone can become their own version of a 20year old, healthy, privileged, white woman in New York City – whose ass dimensions are probably (at least) a standard deviation off from the mean.
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FOCUS. This is doable, people. I’m off to my step class…

10:17 am January, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Perhaps Jen can parlay her ass-success into a career so she can afford a better second nose job.
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This Gash represents all that is abhorrent (except her ass) with our culture. Her highlight is being followed by another, more popular celebrity Gash, and she hopes to inspire women to have an even more warped sense of self by getting them to go to the gym everyday. Super duper!

10:43 am January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^I like her. Her ass had made me rise to diagnose my occasional impotence problem.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex

6:39 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

Damn, DW…I’m saddened and disappointed to hear that about Nanette. She had great cans. And gams. I’d sure like to pinion them gams under a sofa leg. IYKWIM,AITYD. S.
sss

6:45 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

Hair-Bush-Sweater-Manifesto-Spackle-League-of-Northerly-Peter’d-Vitamin-E-Chewers.
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DW, maybe someday soon youse could see fit ta regale us wit a tale of yore about whenst dames sported bush, instead of bein’ slick as onions. Onions, I sez! Not that dere’s anythin’ wrong wid’dat. Madon!
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I’m starting to fuccen talk like DW in client meetings now…Shit. It took months to get rid of the Pfah lisp…
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Mon Pubii…
mons

7:17 pm January, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

If you look at that photo of Nanette, her posture is eerily similar to the sex doll. And by eerily similar I mean I can almost see Mickey Rooney mounting it and still not being able to bust a nut, even with three fingers up his ass.

8:12 pm January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What happened to Nanette? I was just fucking her yesterday.
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And that is one splendid Suspended Mons Bridge. S.

9:35 pm January, 18 DarkSock said...

I wouldn’t mind being stuck on that bridge for 4 days.
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Cristie Kremes.

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