Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Mongor In Love

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Rumor has it everyone’s favorite blank-staring chromosome missing creepy-ass zombified party pud has found true love.

To quote the immortal ode to 1960s casual sex, Hair, let the sun shine in.

And by sun, I mean douche hawk.

And by shine, I mean the most awkward kiss since MJ/Lisa Marie.

# posted by douchebag1
2:08 pm January, 22 The Dude said...

I hope he’s going to Sochi for the Short Bus Olympics featuring a frustrated Black Widow terrorista who flies into a jealous rage over his complete lack of sentience.

2:12 pm January, 22 Chest Brah said...

It’s so cold out the Black Widows Wednesday bomb done didn’t blow up.

2:12 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold my wife’s lips got stuck to my junk.

2:13 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold that By-Tor ate the Snow Dog.

2:13 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold the gays aren’t marching in the Russia.

2:15 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold the Mohawk indians are growing hair. (Cultural sidenote: cause indians don’t have body hair and shit.)

2:16 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold that Putin put his shirt on.

2:20 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold that some terrorists walked out of the Knessett when the King Stephen was smack talking to anti-semites (no respect).
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoUPYfUJCVo

2:21 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold out the family Torah started talking to my bible?

2:22 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold out I can throw coffee in the air and it evaporates.

2:23 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold my well pumps slush.

2:23 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s so cold the sheets crack when you try to fold em damp.

2:40 pm January, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Mongor channels his inner Elvis as a belated tribute to the King’s birthday. Curvy Cumswalla doesn’t know who the hell Elvis is, but is fascinated by shiny objects such as Mongor’s cell phone.

3:14 pm January, 22 Douchble Helix said...

It’s so cold out, Mongor put Marv Albert’s beaver toupee on his own head to keep warm.

3:21 pm January, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That is one sub-par mulatto/quadroon (respect) with one sub-par sub-human. Am I right when I say that?

3:23 pm January, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Speaking of which, if you ever have the chance to sample a Quadroon Spinner, I highly recommend it. Thanks to the Genetic Vortex created by the co-mingling of the races, they often have a Snappin’ Gyro. Co-mingling, I says.

3:32 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Quadroon? That is absolutely hilarious DW. Keep up the good work, Son,’
.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quadroon

3:33 pm January, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I bet 20,000 Quadroons on Spock.

5:30 pm January, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

As much as I like the quadroon theory, that nose can only have moorish spanish origins, making her mesoamerican. The result is desi-like features because it’s a similar gene clash but in the opposite hemisphere. Mongor is just a genetic catastrophe.

6:54 pm January, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think Spock banged a quintroon in one episode, or it might have been Kirk.

8:21 pm January, 22 Colonel Sofa King Retarded said...

I’m Sofa King stoned.
.
http://vinescope.com/teenaged-moms-on-instagram-and-facebook-1304.html

8:44 pm January, 22 Douchble Helix said...

It was Kirk. He was like you Ratpackers the way he got laid all the time.

8:51 pm January, 22 DarkSock said...

“Fold ‘Em Damp” is a good band name.

8:52 pm January, 22 DarkSock said...

Son.

12:07 am January, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Some douchebags get meditative.
.
http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/openforum/article/Meditation-transforms-roughest-San-Francisco-5136942.php
.
And yeah, David Lynch is a douchebag. He’s really into himself and spends too much time quaffing his hair. Hallmarks of a douchebag.

12:36 am January, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I just found out who Mongor’s dad and mom are.

7:12 am January, 23 FredN. said...

JD: the mom pic made me burst out laughing. Well done.

7:36 am January, 23 UFO Destroyers said...

Why did I click on Jacques’ links? I’ve been around here long enough to know better.

11:19 pm January, 23 Guid is Good said...

Mongor offended by having to take a DNA test instead of a paternity test.

11:20 pm January, 23 Guid is Good said...

He failed.

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