Thursday, January 9, 2014

Pearpocalypse Now… (Minimally NSFW)

No ifs, ands, or… oh nevermind.

# posted by douchebag1
11:28 am January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That video initiated my ejaculatory response.

11:30 am January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And then after the first 10-seconds I vomited…

11:39 am January, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty is the shit. It didn’t make the Mrs. look like Cindy, but boy is my butt smooth.
.
Mad Doctors

11:47 am January, 9 ChoadtheDoucheSprocket said...

I’m with DoucheyWallnuts on this one: the video started strong and now has me questioning my anal fixation.
.
.
.Anal fixation, I says.

11:54 am January, 9 Charles Douchewin said...

Cindy Crawford’s meaningful beauty is 100% organic.
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It contains 90% post-consumer liposuction fat (fight club respect) and 10% Canadian baby harp seal tears.
.
I also love how the website makes her look like a female Benjamin Button.

12:14 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

I’d Benjamin Cindy Crawford’s Button.
.
Because my dick’s so big it…
.
.
.
…I think I just ran out.

12:15 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

My dick’s so big it beeps on every out-stroke.

12:15 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

My dick’s so big I have to use vinyl siding as condoms.

12:16 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

My dick’s so big it has pulleys.

12:17 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

My dick’s so big it got invited to Mandela’s funeral.

12:17 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

Twice.

12:17 pm January, 9 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

DB1 just pulled the classic “bait and switch” ploy. We buy into pearpocalyse and end up with some ratchet ho’s and I think at least one tranny. Bad DB1. Redeem yourself immediately.

12:17 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

*whew* got a little worried there for a minute.

12:18 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

Ratchet Ho – good band name.

12:35 pm January, 9 DarkSock said...

In other news, Jane Seymour is 62 in this photo and I’d still pee in her butt.
s

12:36 pm January, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Bruins in town v the LA Kings tonight. Going and will be pounding. L.A. Live is everything it’s hyped up to be
.
What Donald Fagen in his excellent memoir, “Eminent Hipsters” said about Tokyo applies to L.A. Live: it looks like an amusement park on Mars. You might as well be trying to find your way around in side a pinball machine”
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Sure hope Lucic plays. B’s looked like shit against Anaheim without him, but pretty much everyone does on their pond.
.
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Espo

1:14 pm January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jane Seymour is a fine example of the female form. And by fine example of the female form, I mean I just ejaculated.

1:15 pm January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My dick is so big it took 5-years off Jane Seymour’s life.

1:16 pm January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My dick is so big I started ejaculating last Tuesday and it’s just geysering now.

1:17 pm January, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My shwantz is so big I wiped it on Jane Seymour’s curtains in her Beverly Hills mansion. I was in Burbank.

2:04 pm January, 9 ChoadtheDoucheSprocket said...

My my meat is so large, it won’t fit into the frame of Jane Seymour’s gaze.

2:06 pm January, 9 ChoadtheDoucheSprocket said...

My cock is so copious, I can only have anal sex with Mrs. Largeman.

2:09 pm January, 9 ChoadtheDoucheSprocket said...

My johnson is so gigantic, it’s been barred from admission to Cooperstown by the Baseball Writers of America.

3:37 pm January, 9 Charles Douchewin said...

Let me be the first to say Jayne Seymour has the body of a 20 year old, but the hands of a retired plumber.

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