Tuesday, February 18, 2014

And Then This Happened

unnamed (9)

In a world of war, poverty, illness, ignorance, apathy, environmental disaster and Armenian cab drivers, this happened.

An event so tragic in its microcosmic metaphor as to render global catastrophe merely a backdrop for impending coital offense.

Where undies nubs hang their nubs in shame like sad alien antennae.

# posted by douchebag1
8:55 am February, 18 Vin Douchal said...

The air suddenly became pungent. Many occupants gagged, violently, some folks found the door in time. Others were not as fortunate
.
Vomiting is contagious. Like being stuck in an elevator with bird flu patients and having no mask. The floor quickly became slick with stomach contents. Glazed eyes and green hued faces all glanced at each other helplessly, hopelessly…
.
.
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My work is done here ….

9:02 am February, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That’s either the largest birthmark I’ve ever seen or he got hosed by a tattoo artist.
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And she is Eastern European Hott, and by Eastern European Hott I mean she gave The Rev a priapism.

9:18 am February, 18 DarkSock said...

“Step back, Babe; you’re blocking my shot.”

9:23 am February, 18 WillieHorton said...

It’s Zyzz too electric douchaloo!

9:28 am February, 18 Vinegar and Water said...

He really needs to leave that urine sample on top of the toilet tank. The waft of creatine and redbull is bound to offend katy perry’s younger sister.

9:45 am February, 18 purpledrank said...

Slovakian Svetlana keeps the weight off with a steady diet of meth, Camels, semen and Kamchatka Vodka.

9:51 am February, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Psychedelic Toad kicks her lay about douchebag tadpoles right the fuck out of the spare room
.
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She remains firm and stoic in her tough love

10:25 am February, 18 Vin Douchal said...

While wasting time at work I am reading reddit.com. In a case of Kismet, I came across this one:

What’s the most unprofessional thing you’ve ever done at work?
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Winner: As a caddy, I was told not to touch the grips of a golf club, because “my sweat is different from his sweat.” I rubbed the grips on my nutsack when he wasn’t looking

10:28 am February, 18 Charles Douchewin said...

This is a douche out of time. An archetype. A perennial.
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For a brief moment, in his existence, he occupies a phenotype manifested across space and time, since the emergence of the Grieco virus.
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The glasses, shorts, pecs and watch are timeless. As relevant on the streets of mid 1980’s LA, as crossing times square, against the naked cowboy (respect?).
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Here’s to you, archetype douche. Carry the torch. Until it burns out. And by torch, I mean you. And by burns out, I mean flab.
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Oh, and this for Jacques/DarkSock (JacqueSock).

10:52 am February, 18 ChestBrah said...

Dude is ripped, not like my bro, but ripped none the less. I’d do squat thrusts and then go tanning with him. Cause that’s what real mean do.

12:01 pm February, 18 Dr Magnifico said...

Natasha Badinoff’s skill at remaining poker-faced was wrought through many a cold, Ukraine night.

12:15 pm February, 18 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

The only thing worse than being Zyzz (no respect, none) is being a smaller, poor man’s version.

1:41 pm February, 18 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Are those Blu-Blockers? Should someone tell him that “styling” his hair with his own sperm only accentuates his massive forehead? With all the glaring douche signals, I almost missed what appears to be a massive herpes outbreak on the left side of his mouth. Look closely, but do not touch.

7:18 pm February, 18 Scooby Douche said...

Jason’s bros kept telling him he should have that mold looked at, but since it hadn’t creeped all the way across his chest he figured, “Eh, what’s the worst it could be”?

9:29 pm February, 18 The Dude said...

THEONETRUEDOUCHE makes a valid point. Take off the over-sized bug shades, and Fox Crotch has a fivehead. Prolly gonna be sevenhead in a few years.
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Time heals many, if not all wounds.

10:32 pm February, 18 Belieber said...

Zyzz died back in 2011? Are you renaming the website Hot Chicks with Dead Bodies?

3:27 am February, 19 Guid is Good said...

Judging by that Aztec calendar on his tit we are in the Year of the Douchebag. Next year too. And the one after that. See the pattern here?

4:02 pm February, 19 WillieHorton said...

At first glance I thought it was a rehashed Zyzz pic too – upon further examination of the specimen – the tats are indeed different than Zyzz and proof Zyzz has respawned…

5:49 pm February, 19 ehcuodouche said...

ZYZZ LIVES! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

5:50 pm February, 19 ehcuodouche said...

Or better yet, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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