Friday, February 7, 2014

Friday Thoughts and Links

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When Sharon Whose Hair Smells Like Premium Suave Conditioner with Coconut Scent cohabits with Oily Bohunk Dave, then you know life is a shriveled nad of nad prune.

Your humb narrs is heading to the big NYC next week. HC1 and BC1 in tow.

First time back since I gave up that sweet sweet East Village rent stabilized apartment a year and a half ago.

Oh how sad to be a tourist in the city of my youth.

Back when the internet boomed, the deficit balanced, new subway cars were introduced with robot voices, and many, many hot 20-something ladies watched too much Sex and the City, decided to drink cosmos and exhibit loose moral behavior.

Them’s were the days.

Now I’ll be changing diapeys and hope I can hit Joe’s at least twice.

Here’s yer links:

Your HCwDB Buy Some Shite after Clicking this Amazon Link And Help Support the Site Link of the Week: “Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.”

The Grieco virus during incubation.

Justin Bieber’s father. What’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yes. Spincterpeanutbutteraardvarklick.

My new favorite xBox 360 game: Call of Doodie.

My interest in the Winter Olympics is the equivalent of a scary balloon clown.

Have you ever seen this much muscle on a man?

Club institutes new rules for douchebaggery. I approve.

People in photos with dogs pooping.

For those humorless hipsters of the greater San Francisco area: The underground economics of Dolores Park.

The most terrible, misleading statement about pear of all time.

Here’s your moment of zen: Twenty-four hour time lapse of lawn furniture in snow.

Okay. That’s all I got. It’s a little bit scary but here ya go:

Unholygrapepear

Kind of a bummer. Literally.

So how’s about to make up for it:

A Lineup of Masked Bums

Go forth and gnaw.

# posted by douchebag1
12:50 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She don’t ilke Putin
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole

12:52 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In Putin’s Russia
The gyroscope wears you. Don’t
Fish in the toilet

12:53 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

KGB got wise.
Infiltrated this dudes
Hair with cameras.

12:53 pm February, 7 Steve said...

The biggest shocker about those club rules was that it’s a place in Vegas.

12:54 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Russian hookers don’t
Come from Sochi. Maria
Sharipova only.

12:55 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

All men are being forced
To go Putin Style. No
Shirts wrestling grizzlies.

1:07 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Putin behind the
Leno exit. Told Lenny,
“I hate that fucker.”

1:08 pm February, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sochi opening
Choreographed by drunken
Street people and shit.

3:34 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Should be called “Photos Enhanced by Dogs Pooping”
.
Freak Bros’ greatest line was when Phineas was trying to work as a waiter while stoned off his gourd. As he’s walking to the table he thinks “OUCH, This soup is burning the shit outta my thumb”

7:50 pm February, 7 skrag2112 said...

Anyone else expect ‘Muscle Guy’ to start dancing to ‘Goodbye Horses’?

6:06 am February, 8 Dr Magnifico said...

OB Dave was doin’ real well up until a few months ago. He finally got parole and after halfway house scored a small series of increasingly well paid jobs in construction contracting. Before you could say “hayseed crim struck it lucky” he was making 200K pa, driving a Merc, (acquired on the never-never payment system because one ‘never’ actually owns said Merc), paying 8 C note$ rent pw for a fairly glamorous (if seriously overpriced) apartment in the newly developed (former Chinese market garden) precinct, where he co-habitated with Lily the Chinese single mom. Many have asked … What went wrong? Theories exist in abundance. Funny thing is, none of the theories mention anything about his fondness for living abundantly. He’s still driving the Merc though. He just needs to “borrow” the fuel to run it. But he’s keeping a list of all those places providing the “loan.” He’s totally going to pay them back.

8:06 am February, 8 Dickie Fingers said...

Why does one never actually ever own a Mercedes? And your saying he’s stealing gas? That might explain the hair problem and the pinched look on his face. Ingesting too many petroleum products isn’t good for you. .

2:16 pm February, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My bet is that’s not the first time someone used a feces-spiked IV. Which is a sad commentary on our world.

7:44 pm February, 8 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Yea, nice to see all a the traffic…
.
Anyways, I’d like to say the Canadian figure skater dame gave me the renoBs above all a the others, and there were some fine fillies in the mix. And by “in the mix,” I mean ejaculate.

8:09 pm February, 8 adoucheapart said...

I searched my soul along with many old tombs of forgotten poetry in order to address my appreciation for the pear wearing the purple dress. However after much consideration I found the words express my appreciation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrngtVuexXo&t=8m6s

8:21 pm February, 8 The Dude said...

Assuming there will be fifteen thousand hours of Olympic Coverage, it is my goal to watch none of it, because I don’t care. Instead, I will tend to the Mental Boner (Lament Renob™) cause by Maria Sharapova. I want to give her a great reason to shriek at the top of her lungs, until I’ve reached the top of her lungs with my Mahnshtüfer. Then, she’ll need to pipe down. True story.

5:13 am February, 9 Douchble Helix said...

Anybody else notice that The Rev wrote his haiku-im (Hebrew pluralization, Respect) on the wrong blog posting?
.
Not because he’s stoned or drunk or shit.
.
Sons.

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