Thursday, February 13, 2014

Shaun White Dresses Like A Sirloin Choadsteak

PacificCoastNewsOnline.com_1-e1276933963914
I realize that something called the Olympics are taking place.

I also realize that this important relic of cold war myopia continue to occupy a place of nostalgia in the heart of Baby Boomers. Sad.

Such an antiquated notion of border crossings through sportsmanship. In the age of the internet it just seems silly.

even if they do have sexy curling.

I also object on the grounds that winter and summer are celebrated with Olympics while spring and fall are treated like step-gingers. Discrimination, I tells ya. It’s not right.

That being said.

Shaun White.

Not sure who he is.

Am sure he dresses like a Sirloin Choadsteak.

Now how do I get out of this snowstorm? Someone send Jameson, stat!

# posted by douchebag1
6:02 am February, 13 jack2 said...

Looking gorgeous and i like very much his style !!

6:46 am February, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Speaking of the snowstorm, I wonder what a Blizzard Rescue Kit from Lenny the Box would contain..
.
Since we are all snowed in on the East Coast, how about a special Thursday edition of Haiku, or some shit?

6:49 am February, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Carrot Top Vibe
Emanates from his hairdo
With a GSR

6:51 am February, 13 Douchble Helix said...

Old pic. He gets leniency anyways.

6:51 am February, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mila Kunis Bleeth
Has overly long toes and
Likes red-headed Poo

6:52 am February, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

And I agree with DH.

8:20 am February, 13 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Russian curling babe makes me hurry hard.

8:43 am February, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Looks like a gay(er) version of The Village People indian.

8:46 am February, 13 Shaun White said...

ne time back in my 20′s I was working selling cars on Saturdays at Donnelly’s Ottawa Ford while attending a diploma program in international affairs between the two universities there. Never did fuck all with it but it was ayight. Selling cars was a hoot.
.
So I go out to drink at the local pub with the greeter, receptionist, and finance girls after work one Saturday. These chicks were nice and I eventually banged a few after they turned 18. This was the 80′s, so Rev Chad as he exists today did not exist then and vice versa. I miss that skinny young scrapper in his pin-stripe finery and Wall Street hair. Anyways, I’m starting to get drunk when I see a gaggle of woo chicks about my agedness stagger buy and I recognized the one that had a ball and chain around her ankle. “Norma!” I says. It was Norma the screamer that went out with another guy named Jimmy L. who was a housemate of mine in the undergrad days.
.
“RevChad!’ she says. “Girlth….. this ith one of the nithest guys I ever met, alwathz the gentlemans.” She proceeded to introduce me to her friends who were treating her to her bachelorette party. I says goodbye to the office Betties and joined the bachelorette party. So we go across the river to party in Quebec until the wee hours and go back to Jimmy and Norma’s apartment.
.
Now I’m all about decorum. The girls start to fade and they’re trying to set Norma up for a last fuck. Well I’m not that kind of guy but Norma starts talking all weird and asking me to lay beside her and I oblige, wishing her good luck and shit while the other girls giggle in the other bedroom. I explain to her that won’t happen and tell her she’s marrying a good guy.
.
So I tell them it was nice to meet them and I was leaving. This one chick Kari says wait I’ll go with you. She was hammered but 21 so I didn’t fucking care. A hole’s a hole. So I go to her place and we get whacked on some opium laced hash I had in my wallet. Her place had an obvious mess about it and I asked her where her roommate was. ” I don’t fucking hab no roomate let’s go into the bedroom.” So I knew this was happening the minute I saw her. I was going at her and she kept yelling “Surge! Surge!” I’m diving my face in as hard as I can in reponse to her pleas, and she’s wasted. “Surge! Surge!” she says. I’m thinking its just her way of saying fuck me harder and she’s fucking wasted and I got a hungry boner boner so I don’t care what this minx says. I bang her up against the wall until she stops me and says “You’ve got it in the wrong hole! Surge!” I put it in the right hole and fucked her good and proper and surged till I squirted and she passed out.”Surge! Surge!” I think to myself quizzically after a great night of single fun and smile on my cab ride home.
.
I saw my friend Jimmy L. a few weeks later at a restaurant with Norma at brunch the week before the wedding sitting with some dude. I hadn’t seen Norma since, but she had a very uncomfortable look an her face. Just as notice Norma’s unease, I catch the site of this striking Italian chick out of the corner, I realize that the girl is Kari. Her smile turns to shame just as I hear Jimmy say, “Sit down and have a drink with us, by the way, I’d like you to meet Serge.”
.
Jimmy and Norma worked hard, went to teacher’s college and won a million bucks at some slot machine, paid of their mortgage, put their son through rehab, and have lived happily ever after. I see them a few times a year. I saw Kari again at their wedding and fucked her again. She never married Serge and I haven’t heard her name since.

8:50 am February, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck you! The Olympics are awesome. The cold war never ended Nancy.
.
Fuck Shaun White
.
At the Olympics, Canada is the most awesome per capita, except the Norwegians but their just fucking crazy.
.
Fuck Lindsay Vonn. Misceginatress.

9:01 am February, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lenny’s rescue box contains at all times the following:
.
-1 Nissan Altima
-large trash bags
-5 rolls of duct tape
-12 beers (Lenny doesn’t drink)
-2 winter jackets
-2 pairs of rubber boots
-one first aid kit
-one case of water
-one mickey of vodka
-three types of flavoured hippie papers
-3 regular and three jumbo condoms
-hash
-hash oil
-aspirin with codeine
-my old dog that travels with us
-several strains of weed to fit the groove of the day
-Tim Hortons coffee thermo-snowshoes
-dried beef carpaccio jerky
-capers
-Grey Poupon
-The cash hidden under the spare in case of hookers
-A wooden Indian named George (respect)
-chains
-snowshoes
-baseball bats with the end chopped flat (in case of bears or badger attacks
-

9:02 am February, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

-cigarettes

9:24 am February, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Lenny is even more prepared than I could have imagined.
.
Although I am surprised there’s no piss porn on the list…

10:22 am February, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Quit farting around you chuckleheads. Answer Db1′s question
.
.
Shaun Whte , for your information, is a famous gum chef. He has invented such flavors as MellonBerry and Tropical Trance
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White only allows his name and likeness on his two flagship products , “Whitemint and the sugarless version, Mintacular
.
.
Get hip to the facts will ya?

9:30 pm February, 13 Mr Biggs said...

I say he qualifies under Rock Star Leniency. I’d even say his haircut is to blame for his defeat. Shaun – Sampson – see how similar the names are?

7:48 am February, 14 Anthony LaBaglia said...

He’s that kid from The Fartridge Family

6:43 am February, 16 jack2 said...

she looks very attractive no her nice dress.
very good style…!

10:27 pm March, 23 machineX said...

kid looks like such a TOOL

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