Monday, September 29, 2014

As the Nimrod Turns

93019

Fear not, fellow ‘bag hunter.

HCwDB may no longer be updating on the reg.

But no matter how complex world events become, no matter how many facets of our eternal journey to know thyself and thy world splinter into diachronic contradictions, there will always be Martin The Nim making Stupidface ™ with Sophia during Spring Break in Vegas.

Let this toxic cohabit of crazy choadward eyes and sweet suckle thigh remind you that no matter how dark life becomes, the hottie/douchey dialectics will always be there for us to mock.

Carry on my wayward sons and daughters…

# posted by admin
4:28 pm September, 29 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

First!

(Wow…just like the olden days.)

4:47 pm September, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

Martin The Nim making Stupidface casts the Jersey eye of to much Redbull®(No Respect) & confusion.

5:24 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think Martin needs to be moisturized:
.
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02739/cassandra_2739206k.jpg

5:25 pm September, 29 Charles Douchewin said...

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOCHOAD!

6:22 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Where am I? Does anybody really know what time it is?
.
Fuck Isis!

6:24 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think he sharted his thong.

7:28 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Rev
.
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to affect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective point of view it is more like a big ball of wibbily wobbly timey wimey.

8:30 pm September, 29 Ed Hardy Har Har said...

Martin the Nim, grandson of Marty Feldman, shows off the family googly eyes.

12:42 pm September, 30 hermit said...

By the look on his face, I figure she’s got her thumb so far up his ass she’ll pull out a plum, or a colon.

3:46 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Seen that look before

6:27 pm September, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Normally I don’t go here but this video has to be the soundtrack to this pic.
.
http://thechive.com/2014/09/30/worst-music-video-ever-video/

8:05 pm September, 30 The Dude said...

All of a sudden, I’m seeing faces everywhere with that vacant look like Nimmie here. Is there some new drug I haven’t tested? Why doesn’t the hott seem to notice that she’s standing with a freak?

8:21 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Seen that look before

8:23 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Seen that look before

8:40 pm September, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Seen that look before pt 4

8:50 pm September, 30 hermit said...

I was standing in the checkout line, and in front of me was some old broad with a dog. The dog had a blue vest on with the words “Service Dog: do not pet” inscribed upon it. The woman obviously wasn’t blind, so when she paid up and left I asked the cashier what was up. She informed me that the woman had some emotional difficulties and her “Service Dog” helped her to feel better and raised her self-esteem, allowing her to cope better with society. I checked it out, and sure enough, the federal govt. forbids retail establishments from disallowing people with these dogs from entering their place of business. So now, these freaks are free to bring their vermin-infested, leg-humping mongrels into any restaurant, grocery store or Starbucks. No doubt another brilliant idea thrust upon us by the bunch of hemp-sandal-wearing, vegan control freaks who run this country.
It got me to thinking though. I feel that my self-esteem would improve, and I would personally feel much more comfortable if I could go through life tethered to a tall, near-naked blonde wearing a studded dog collar, cowbell nipple rings and fur-lined go-go boots. Her long legs would be taught like stretched steel wrapped in oilskins and her breath would smell of Marlboros and vengeance. She’d be adorned in a blue vest with block letters reading, “Service Broad: do not pet.” I’m pretty emotionally fucked up, so I’m sure Medicaid or Obamacare would provide all this shit.
If not, I’ll sue.

12:29 am October, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did Dr. Bunsen every consider that all black holes may be in the nucleii of unfathomably large atoms.?

2:08 am October, 1 Vin J Douchal said...

Korean baseball has cheerleaders. Voted hottest, Park Ki-ryang
.
This
and
THIS

3:44 pm October, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d fuck that chink girl if she was covered with Chelsea Clinton’s devil Jew-Baby’s chopped placenta tartare. And whatever Hermit said. Shit

6:39 pm October, 1 Dickie Fingers said...

I had a service broad in college. I could call her any time and she would come over and service me. I’ve seen her picture online recently. Time hasn’t been kind to her.

10:22 pm October, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Cute links there guys.
.
‘Scuse me for a moment (cracks knuckles).
.
Pavel Petel
.
Carry on.

1:57 am October, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nice penis Jacques.
.
On behalf of Hermit, who is in full stage Ebola scenario, I’d like to thank the President for the freedom to see penii, get Monkey diseases and invite patient zero to the White House.
.
And I’d eat Amy Schumer’s puss cause the heavy girls bleed more, and she’s rude. And I likes me the Red Wing on my face.
.
I’m a stoned, dirty old man. Son.

11:54 am October, 2 hermit said...

Fit as a fiddle, Rev. Other than plunging into seasonal affective disorder from the rain and cold and shit.
I remember the early wordpressian era when Vin could post full-color Asian hotties in the comments section. Asian chicks are appealing to North American men because they’ve retained a level of feminity which is utterly lacking in 21st century American bull dyke culture. I recall the pre-AIDS, pre-herpes Panamanian whorehouses where the Columbian prostitutes favored Japanese men because they washed their dicks before AND after coitus.
Those were the days.
.
I avoid Jacques’ links as I would avoid a Liberian National with a runny nose.

6:11 pm October, 2 FredN. said...

Jacques:
You just made me google Pavel Petel for 15 minutes.
That guy is awesome. Fucking stone cold afraid of walking down the street in Moscow or he’ll be killed.
And the slow-mo Vimeo of him jump roping in front of freaky bear looking creatures is fantabulous.

3:43 pm October, 3 DarkSock said...

March 18th, 2005 – a date that will live in inflammation.
.
For these two girls, anyway..

5:13 pm October, 3 hermit said...

^ Wrong link, how about this?

5:16 pm October, 3 hermit said...

No, actually this.

7:22 pm October, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mrs. Doc Bunsen said something about these being offensive but I don’t see it. Can anyone enlighten me here?
.
http://all-that-is-interesting.com/20-bizarre-vintage-ads?utm_source=FBTraffic&utm_medium=fijifrost&utm_campaign=CMfacebook#1

12:31 pm October, 5 Charles Douchewin said...

^ Doc.
.
Mrs. Doc Bunsen has a valid point, but it’s on a relativistic scale. For example, you could share with her that as a mammal, I find this offensive:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDm02yrRKgU
.
As a vertebrate, I find this highly offensive:

12:57 am October, 7 DarkSock said...

^ I remember when I was a vertebrate…

4:59 am October, 7 The Dude said...

I’m an invertebrate gambler.

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