Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Politics Got You Down? Shmegma McWankpuddle and Clarissa Might Have Your Cure

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Depressed?

Horrified at a world in which Bowie and Prince are gone yet Neil Young still lives?

You are not alone.

Take solace, my friends.

For this strange odyssey we call 2016 can at least be ameliorated by the shared experience. The abject horror of witnessing Malthusian dystopian decay, in real time no less, requires some theraputic conceptual release, does it not?

And so here it is. My humble offering of digital solace.

A moment that bridges the divide. An experience writ communal through the bonds of empathy, communication, and tasty snack cake products made by underpaid and unamused assembly line workers.

Perhaps it is merely a temporary salve meant to obfuscate the stark, naked truth of impermanence within this mortal coil. But it at least provides at least a temporary solution to the inevitable tragedy paradox, the byproduct of the merging of consciousness with mortality.

And so I give you Shmegma McWankpuddle commingling holistically with Pert Clarissa. For within this toxic cohabit, each of us can experience a communal revulsion. Her soft talcum booty sullied by tatted up upchuckery. Together, it becomes a collective illogic beyond comprehension. But our shared witness of this impossibility offers at least momentary alleviation from a world of insanity and illogic. For if you and I can both comprehend this neon titty twister of inanity then surely there is shared experience in this dark journey of life.

Let that collective revulsion be your soothing balm in a hottie/douchey world gone increasingly cray cray. It may not be much when dudebros roam the earth with giant beards and youthful communication is primarily done through the semiotics of emojis. But at least it’s something.

# posted by douchebag1
1:09 am July, 27 skrag2112 said...

This site still lives? There is a glimmer of hope.

3:05 am July, 27 icantremembermyoldusername said...

Sadly, tats cannot make up for a lack of character. I think that is the nexus of this site.

6:38 am July, 27 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Those twinkies in the link will survive the heat death of the universe. And they’ll still be ‘fresh.’

I wanna touch clarissa’s brown pearl with my tongue and nose.

Mcwank doesn’t have tats. That’s just a case of dermatological anthrax devouring and necrotizing his flesh. Soon, there will be nothing left even for the worms. Glory Hallelujah.

Lord, the impure things I would do to Clarissa……..verily, I would pollute her in ways that should not be possible in the Standard Physics Model. Just the thought of lavaging her entire body and all its orifices with my tongue makes my nipples explode with delite.

I need a drink.

2:10 pm July, 27 Douchesdownunder said...

’bout time.
I’d just about given up.

1:28 am July, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Don’t let it end this way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp5pW-27tJU

1:30 am July, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

This is where babies come from.

1:31 am July, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Failed

1:45 pm July, 28 hermit said...

I’d like to extend my personal gratitude, to our oft-maligned leader DB1, for taking time during the hectic alpaca breeding season to bring us up to date on the moral, cultural and economic decline of our once-great Fatherland, Amërïkä, USA.

1:53 pm July, 28 hermit said...

Memo to Snooki and the Russians, if they’re listening: Kids grow into addicted, maladjusted, troubled teens and young mummies grow long, saggy, mudflappian tits and stretch marks.

2:13 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The next douchebag trend?
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxoNfm8WdBs

2:37 pm July, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Would it constitute cannibalism?

2:43 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch is mined for steel wool

2:45 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch has a colony of sea monkeys

2:46 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch affects tides in Stone Harbor

2:47 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch raises global temperature .005 degrees per year

2:48 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch is a delicacy ,… nowhere

2:50 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooi’s snatch squirts Prestone© anti-freeze

2:50 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch has a part-time job as a pencil sharpener

2:51 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch is a light hitting right fielder for the New York Mets

2:53 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch is the parking garage for city hall

2:54 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch uses a bulldozer as a dildo

2:54 pm July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Snooki’s snatch qualifies her as a marsupial

9:05 pm July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^^^^^^ “young mummies grow long, saggy, mudflappian tits and stretch marks.” I’ll second that. And by second that, I mean hookers till the End happens soon. Just got a new Mossberg 13 shooter 12-gauge in. I alternate buckshot, slug, birdshot for maximum carnage. For the desert and jungle people marching westward to get our shit. Fuck them. I don’t want no globalist shit., Fuck the cheap merch at Wal-Fart. Let’s get you boys back to fucking work. The savages evolve where they came from for fuck sake. There is a Mooslem in the rural hood. I offered to help him clear up some brush. I’m bringing a sharp blade and a woodchipper over. And by woodchipper, I mean Hell Ya, Sons.

10:09 pm July, 29 hermit said...

Though gravity and Father Time are undefeated, I prefer the old gals who get progressively fatter. If the do it right, the fat will fill in the voids left by prunage and menopause and they stay plump and carnal several years past the expiration date.

3:19 am July, 30 The Dude formerly known as an Artist said...

Those tats – so much work, so little value.
That spiky hair – electrocution is the solution here.
.
After all these years, I’m still baffled by the effect of the Grieco virus on hotts. Especially those who look capable of forming a complete sentence. With correct grammar. Unlike this post.
.
Very nice to hear from you, chief!

8:04 pm July, 31 motorboat said...

Test

11:54 pm July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Snooki’s snatch so loose she can nail a 3-pointer from half court with it.

11:55 pm July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Snooki’s snatch so loose Carl Sagan says it contains billions and billions of venereal diseases.

11:56 pm July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Snooki’s snatch so loose her labia can only see the other flap with a telescope.

11:56 pm July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Snooki’s snatch so loose she shaves her pubes with a grain thresher.

11:57 pm July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Snooki’s snatch so loose only elephants can hear her queef.

2:10 am August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The globalists are in a full court press on Trump with the shill moslem (no respect) dead guy father terrorist supporter shit, and shit. The people of the world are laughing at you for falling for this game.The bias is owned by THEM. It is time to CLEAN YOUR FUCKING GUNS BOYS!!!!!!!
.
A Jew and an Arab go into an Irish pub (respect). The bartender, Hamish, asked the Arab what he can get for him. The Arab responds. “shots for everyone.”
.
THE SLANDER IS DELICIOUS.

2:12 am August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d lick Snooki’s cooter before Hillary.

6:52 am August, 2 SNAP-ONE said...

I love that your facebook icon fucking link thing doesn’t work. Fuck sharing, except maybe a beer with darksock.

P.S. I want to be chin deep in her scruff-munch. She should be cloned, and I want two. Because I’d probably break one rather fast.

10:07 pm August, 2 motorboat said...

ETD? here, I guess my new screen name is motorboat which is lame not to be confused with motorboating whether it’s Clarissa’s firm ripes B( . )( . )b’s or the type of motorboating our dear beloved DSock engaged in neither of which is lame.
.
F WordPress!!!

5:56 pm August, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

For when no one when makes sense.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ-fvr2qLc0

11:39 pm August, 11 hermit said...

Grandma rode an old flathead with no front brakes and bald tires, a Lucky Strike® hanging from the corner of her mouth and a belly full of bootleg tequila. She huffed Bactine® and chugged cheap wine out of a diseased goat bladder while a rabid ocelot rode pillion with its ears pinned back to decrease wind resistance.

6:15 pm August, 12 Carlos Danger said...

She sounds hot!

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