Monday, January 16, 2017

Bro Zach Nation


What a flaming Slouvakian dumpster fire. I don’t just mean this pic of Zach and his Bro, K-Whizz greasing up on Marissa as if her derriere is hosting a bake sale featuring a trenbolone sandwich. I’m talking bigger ‘bags to fry. Yes, even douchier than these spectacular meatwads.

In four days a tangerine uvula will spittle across our collective national identity like an angry, castrated llama gnawing on a Jolly Rancher.

For shame, America.

You have given in to the dark forces of greasy pec butt fondle spikewank.

HCwDB may be no more.

But the time for mock has never been more important.

# posted by douchebag1
11:21 pm January, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hey man! They be some stereotypical douchebags. Potato Chip Hitler?????

11:22 pm January, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

God Emperor Trump?

3:40 pm January, 17 hermit said...

Spiky douche on left: voted for Hillary
.
Hot babe with bandolier boobs: voted for Trump
.
Spiky douche on right: “What vote?”
.
Humiliated pasty white boy in back: “I liked Bernie”

7:12 pm January, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

Pasty white boy often thinks back to that ostensibly glorious day in the sun. And when he does, he sorely wishes the only thing he put his lips on, was that aluminum Bud Light bottle.

5:48 am January, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

T-2 days to MAGA. I have sent a note to Trump asking him to not go full Hitler. You never go full Hitler, unless the communists are trying to ruin the West. And shit.
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Greetings Sirs. Son.
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I’ll send Dark Sock a note. He should be reappearing after the Inauguration.

3:58 pm January, 18 creature said...

She poops choco twinkys. Simian grease barrel bros gobble em up, it keeps them torsos hairless

7:01 pm January, 19 Carlos Danger said...

That grease fitting on the left has been on here before.

9:12 pm January, 20 Vin Douchal said...

So,…. a plain speaking guy unafraid to say what’s on his mind, which also happens to be what’s on a lot of other people’s minds, uses internet/technology to send his provocative thoughts out to the public and garner a movement bent on bettering society?
.
.
Am I discussing Trump or Db1?

11:34 pm January, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Both.

12:49 am January, 21 Charles Douchewin said...

^ ^Untrue! Only one of them made tons of entertainment money by showcasing goofballs on reality TV.

12:59 am January, 21 hermit said...

^^^Haha!

1:05 am January, 21 hermit said...

DB1 would have banked way more cash than Trump, but he was supporting an expensive snack cake addiction.
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…and the alpacas, my God, the alpacas.

2:08 am January, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Glad to see some posts but ya gotta let it go DB1. All the anger will kill ya. And four years are gonna fly by. Please get back to the bag mock and tasty pear.

6:01 pm January, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

So that’s what this site has devolved down to? Just another Trump bashing blog? Fine then. Do what you do, I’m out. See y’all in 4 to 8.

6:30 pm January, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

C’mon DB1. The bright side is that Trump has paved the way for you to be president one day now. You’ve like to rate women by their attractiveness (I.e. HOH). You like to call out your haters or in my case block them from commenting. You respect women by trying to “save” them from men that are just as bad as you but they’re(the “douchebags”) just more in your face about it. You’ve profited off of exploiting others via “reality TV” and adding to that garbage culture. Me thinks that you’re just mad you didn’t think of running for President first. Just because you’re married and a Dad now doesn’t mean your free from scrutiny. But yeah go on with your anti-Trump rants against a guy that has a lot of similar qualities to you. I’ll take you seriously when it’s from a site that doesn’t have A binder filled with women. (HOH)

6:42 am January, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

Hmmm. No response? Shit must ring true.

8:47 pm January, 22 The Dude said...

I marched in the relatively douchebag-free Women’s March in LA. Say what you will about politics, but there were some delightful, wholesome hotties out there!

.

Thanks for keeping your site going, DB1

7:39 am January, 24 hermit said...

You gotta’ admit Trump got more fat women exercising on his first day in office than Michelle Obama did in eight years.

4:12 am January, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Please Mr. President, I can’t stand anymore winning. Stop it already

5:13 pm January, 28 motorboat said...

@ Hermit
.
This might be right up your alley

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-38772586

8:01 pm January, 28 hermit said...

@ Et tu? ^Any hermit worth a shit would never retire, he’d be found dead in his hermitage half eaten by cats, and shit.
.
I’m down.

12:04 am February, 7 Douchesdownunder said...

Please continue the mock sans the Trump-hate, there’s enough pseudo-political commentary everywhere else on the web.

We came here for one reason…well two actually.

Douche- mock and Hott.

5:11 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

@ Et tu and Hermit
.
That hermit lineage in Austria has as much legitimacy as the English throne. What’s wrong with them folks? Gives a FUCK about the Queen? The hermit seems more fun
.
And since Prince Harry now has a
SMOKING hot chick is he now a douchebag?
.
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And in closing, “HOW BOUT THEM PATRIOTS!!”

5:13 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham’s pit sweat can remove lead paint

5:14 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham’s vagina is the lower tom sample on the Roland 808 drum machine

5:15 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham’s opinions are being mined for secret messages that state “No, really, I’m not a kook”

5:15 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham’s ass fat can sponge up NASCAR Racing fuel spills

5:16 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham once had an original thought… no wait,…. not really

5:17 pm February, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Lena Dunham threatened to move to Canada if Trump won. Canada said, “Not interested, eh?”

10:48 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lena Dunham is Cultural Marxism on a bland, intersectional feminist tableau.

10:49 pm February, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck her and the marxist, white genocidal, holocaust myth she rode in on.
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I still love ya DB1.

6:49 pm February, 12 hermit said...

https://southernsideofme.tumblr.com/post/157155745303/with-blackjack-and-hookers
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@Vinny D
As a Colts fan I’ve always hated them, but have to admit a grudging respect.

11:30 pm February, 17 motorboat said...

@Rev
.
How are the Adirondacks treating you? also Eugenie Bouchard hott? or smoking hott?

10:17 pm February, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

All is sweet, but snow is melting. Smoking hot she us, Son. Where’s Dark Sock?

12:53 pm February, 25 Carlos Danger said...

Pretty sure Docksock is dead. An overturned Plymouth Fury covered in dolphin dicks was discovered in a canal in rural Miss.

6:05 am February, 28 Douchesdownunder said...

“………………”
Sigh, nothing but the sound of crickets here.
I’ve given up.

9:29 pm March, 4 motorboat said...

It’s been noted that Richard Grieco was the progenitor of all things “Douche”, while I agree he is a clown it dawned on me that maybe there was someone who came before him?
.
Being couch bound, fighting a cold last night, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon a rerun of “The Lost Boys”. It was early on in the movie when the epic fail beach concert scene came on. If your not familiar with this scene here you go and my apologies to your sensibilities. T

The original & some reunion clip too.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpuwcINDHnQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LAP6-J2Zho
.

Seeing as Greico did not come to prominence until 88/89 and this movie was released in 87, probably filmed in 86. Wouldn’t it stand to argue that Tim Cappello was in fact the “Original”?
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DB1 please be advised I plan on debating this topic with you at your Guggenheim 2023 soiree also if he can make it across the border to the event I plan on getting hammered with Rev Chad while toasting to the greatness that was DarkSock & Medusa Oblongata.
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Okay back to my imitation brand NyQuil™

1:11 am March, 6 The Dude said...

Wow, Googling Tim Cappello makes me feel like things aren’t all that different and weird these days.
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Same as it ever was

5:00 pm March, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Lost Boys is well known to be a homosexual deviant film praising ancient Talmudic Babylonian devil worship and child sacrifice/rape, currently practiced by 5% of the world’s “chosen people” like Leon Panetta, Wolf Blitzer, Sarah Silverman, John Pedestal, George Bush, Gene Simmons, the Clintons, Federal Reserve members, Barbara Walters, Al Gore, the Europeans, and generic Rabbi/Money changers.

11:49 pm March, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Just got back from DarkSock’s wake. What did I miss?

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