Thursday, March 16, 2017

Charles Von Cankersore Gives Ninotchka the Doucheface

You might presume that a faux tanned Ed Hardy disciple inappropriately cuddle-macking Svetlana is uberdouche precisely because of douche face.

Not so fast, you cracker!

Even devoid of doucheface, Charles Von Cankersore retains a high degree of smelly poo.

Thus proving my theorem that even in the age of Trumpocalypse, douche aura permeates beyond the performative signifiers.

Now that that’s settled, who wants an Orange Whip?

# posted by douchebag1
10:07 am March, 17 Charles Douchewin said...

Here, a performing performative signifier promulgates perspectives to create a catachrestic condition of the self to force reconciliation in the dualistic nature of the individual, with the fallacy of separation between society, and the self – you filthy apes:
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y
.
.
Oh, hey flannel: http://www.theredneckforum.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=41&start=650#p1735

4:01 pm March, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Mabel was different…..
.
I was just coming into my own, a skinny , yet hairy ,young man at 19. Good, solid thatch of pubes, tuft of chest fur , had a head of hair in the style of the day, longish, just above the shoulder and mutton chop sideburns that as I think about it, may have looked out of place.
.
I’d had my share of lovers, monogamous and one-nighter types and considered my self a “closer” of sorts, Always take care of the lady’s needs first
.
In its characteristic way, the state of Massachusetts temporarily lost it’s collective minds and lowered the drinking age to 18 years old. A new world was opened up to me
.
My friends and I continually/usually struck out in the pick up game. Gals our age were not interested in us due to our own dorkiness or just plain competition from wiser , older dudes and shit….
.
I developed a taste for older woman. Not the garish, overly perfumed and made up middle age barflies , but the early mid-life crisis 30-ish , end of the child rearing cycle subjects that through a quiet desperation or minor character flaw had never married or recently divorced and never conceived…. I liked the mothering-like attention during the courting: nice meals, loving massages, post coital cuddling, grown up cocktails like ,martinis
.
Never one to shrink away from a challenge, I spied a phenomenal body from the rear angle at a liquor store. She was a tight little 35 year-old Greek gal, buying two bottles of wine. I chatted her up to find that she had just moved to a home in the neighborhood and was painting it to her liking… I offered to go with her to help
.
.
It didn’t take long once we arrived home. She came on pretty strong on the walk to her place. Once inside we began the mating ritual. Things were normal, the usual leading up to full exposure nekkidness.
.
Then it got weird. When we went at it she climaxed a couple of times then she got on top. She was bouncing away ,head back, eyes closed, lost in some nether world of her own imagination …. then her arms went wide…. she slowly, then rapidly started flapping her arms like a bird….
.
It was funny. In retrospect, the kind of funny I should have laughed at later because she opened her eyes a crack and saw me. Then she lost her shit!
.
She was punching my chest and reaching behind her trying to punch me in the groin and anywhere else she could reach. But she never stopped bouncing, flailing and bouncing while never breaking off penetration… for what seemed like a long time, swearing and yelling
.
.
I have never nor will I ever have an orgasm remotely approaching that one. It was the grandaddy of them all, like a Peter North blast fired from an Apache helicopter. I rolled over and got the hell out of there
.
.
Why do I mention all this? It’s my favorite St Patrick’s Day memory. Go get ’em fellers

5:54 pm March, 17 Anti-Semite said...

I don’t have access to auto Login anymore. Is it because I have become Hitler and my Jewess Ava Braun? All ills of the world in the last 6000 years have been caused by Jews.
.
Hitler was saving Europe by killing Bolsheviks. The Zionists are now attempting to destroy Gentiles by mass moslem migration. The Holocaust was a fake, the Holomodor was real. Hitler only intended to get rid of the Jew Commies that destroyed Austro/Hungary/Germany. Polish Jew Bolshevik aggression started the last war.
.
The Jews destroyed this area via the wicked Weimar Republic. Hitler had to defend himself against the Bolshevik filth.
.
Ironically, the deviant and subversive nature of the West in the current year that DB1 protested through this site is a result of 200 years of Jewish propaganda.
.
Join the Neo-Nazis DB1, we will protect you. You know not what ye have done.

5:58 pm March, 17 Anti-Semite said...

Anti-Semite is the patriot formerly known as The Reverend Chad Kroeger. Sober. Deus Vult.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-Yszp3SmxE
.
Join me brothers against the Soros/Rothschild funded insurrection. Don’t trust anyone. Not Trump or your brother.
.
The race war cometh.

6:01 pm March, 17 oops said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-Yszp3SmxE

4:01 am March, 18 The Dude said...

Yay douchebags! I mean, you know Yay HCWDB! Poor Ninotchka. I can play the Scriabin Preludes really well, true story. Better than this douche, I’m sure of it. huh?

11:20 am March, 19 Charles Douchewin said...

Salty Fukken’ Tears in 3…2…
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M8DH-YrmCg

1:20 am March, 24 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Ed Hardy ? Really.
Great story Vin. You should consider a career with Penthouse as a writer for their Forum section. If that still exists. Prob not.

4:06 am April, 20 DeadBuriedEtc said...

I tried to submit a photo the accepted way, but it didn’t work.

PLEASE , hcwdb, work your magic on the photo that can be found here.

https://twitter.com/CLRo777/status/854908855028809729/photo/1

Leave a Reply