Saturday, June 10, 2017

Mr. Champ Spreads the Herp

Well hello there, ye fellow ‘bag hunters, hott enthusiasts, and lovers of the mock!

It has been awhile, has it not?

I am honored, humbled, and filled with the tingliest of shmeg tickle to see that this ole’ web relic of the late aughts and early 10s still gets a little foot traffic in the age of internet Borg control and hive mind Chris Hardwick faux nerd blankness.

If, at any point, you found the hottie/douchey mock to entertain, enlighten, enrage, or another adjective that begins with “e,” I am grateful.

So let me say “Hello!”

HCwDB wrapped up in 2013 (or maybe early 2014?). I’ve been spending so much time practicing nerd chants in school cafeterias I haven’t been able to summon much strength to keep posts up these days. Certainly not as we enter the political douchepocalypse that has enveloped.

Kinda hard to find joy in the assinine foibles and bad taste of youth dating when the world is toking a shmeg pipe filled with rat poop and pumpkin seed.

But your humbs narrator is still kicking his ubiquitous red cup o’ Night Train, munching on tasty Hostess products whenever possible, raising two little HCs, and staring at the world cockeyed and bemused, or maybe more bleary eyed and vaguely nauseous. But still keepin’ on as best I can in a world of too many Aryan crypto-Nazi movie stars named Chris and not nearly enough Madchen Amick.

Perhaps obvious douchewanks with hot chicks in tow have vanished like Rollo Tomase chasing Keyser Soze.

But I’m still here.

And so is this ass tomato.

So I’ll be watching.

The mock is never dead. It just takes on new forms.

# posted by douchebag1
1:54 am June, 10 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

First ! Boo ya. Oh wait I guess that’s passé.
Glad to see a post DB1. And congrats on the second kid.

2:13 am June, 11 The Reverend Chad in Trumpian Symbology said...

Where the fuck is Dark Sock?
.
Toughen up.
.
We must wage total war on the Globalists.
.T
But tI come here stoned and forfirst ime in months he most important hing is freedem of speechh. Sons and shit.
.
Pkinsons settingm in sons. Nkt mush longer.

2:14 am June, 11 The Reverend Chad in Trumpian Symbology said...

That to0 me 47 mij to ttee0

12:53 pm June, 12 motorboat said...

ETD? here,

Good to see The Most Honorable Monsignor Chad is still kicking and coherent too. CBD’s are a beautiful thing
.

1:12 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

Home, the conquering hero!

The weeds are high, DB1 – and I don’t mean that kind of weed. Nice to hear you’re propagating the species.

3:07 am June, 15 Laura Palmer said...

I saw DarkSock at the bottom of the lake.
.
DB1 has two little girls now? Karma, she really is a bitch huh? Hahahaha….ah. Can’t wait to see them in the HOH.

9:22 pm June, 18 creature said...

^ nancy troll…
MAdchen has a herpe on her lip
Aloha ‘n shit from dinosaur hell on Oahu

5:04 pm June, 21 CK the Bag Hunter said...

What a blast from the past. I had a facebook “on this day” reminder to a 2009 post in which I had written “i really enjoy hcwdb.com”. I clicked over, hoping it was still active, and bam! The Douche lives.

Thanks for many great LOLs aka LADs (laugh at douches).
Best wishes for decades of mockery,

CK in FL

2:55 am June, 28 Dredd said...

I came looking for asspear la plants, good to see the site is still up

5:38 pm June, 28 rev Chad said...

Mrs. Kroeger kicked me out.

9:27 pm June, 29 motorboat said...

@Rev

Out of bed? out of the apocalypse bunker? or the house? Is your go bag is still packed?

7:26 pm June, 30 jonezy said...

many a fond memories lie in these hallowed pages of the web.
.
I’d pay good money (not USD, of course) for a current pic of a few Hall of Scrote members

8:34 pm July, 3 Laura Palmer said...

@creature, light and love to you my friend.

6:51 pm July, 5 Carlos Danger said...

Nancy, You are posting under your real name again. Lets make HCWDB great again.

11:22 pm July, 14 Rev Chad said...

Out of the house Motorboat. I’m fucking her again though. Too much drunk anger at my fat whore daughter.Apocalypse bunker and o bag ready. Lock and Load. Praise to Jesus.

5:25 pm July, 15 motorboat said...

@The most honorable Rev Chad, ETD?aks Motorboat here.
.
As a single guy living on his own now you should be out and about looking for all sorts of eager/enthusiastic Ontario late 30’s/early to mid 40’s strange. That age group is insatiable! and if that doesn’t work at least you still have the missus to shag. Sorry to hear about the daughter they really do start young these days. Glad to hear your go bag is ready. Make sure you have a fresh supply of trail mix it’s essential when traveling long distances through the woods and or mountains.

3:30 am July, 17 Laura Palmer said...

@CarlosDanger, ‘Tis true. Laura Giannotti is my real name but no one gives a fuck about this site to care or call me out on my various shenanigans. The internet is great that way. It’s not like I ever said anything too embarrassing on here. We should make this place great again. Lord knows it’s gone downhill since we used to use this as a forum for our personal disputes. Kisses!

6:01 pm July, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Legal Cannabis…..Pothead Californians rejoicing in their one room apartments with legal weed, free internet porn and food delivery are finally/mercifully out of circulation
.
Low end labor force mobilizing at the edges of Home Depot parking lots convince us that they know as much about home building / remodeling / repair as General Contractors with actual B&C licenses, general liability insurance, workers comp, registered vehicles and pay their quarterly income taxes? Excellent, here’s $100 for you and your amigo to install my no-tank water heater…. what could go wrong?
.
Legislators vote in a 25¢ per gallon tax to “Fix Roads” that will raise billions but half of it is pork that goes to sweetheart no-bid deals for their own districts… And union pensions …. IF you’re not affiliated within their political party, WHELP, sorry
.
…… sidenote: My car tax went down $260 a few years ago when we voted the bum Governor out. Simple math 25 ¢ /gallon x 20 gal tank = $5 /tank x 52 weeks/year = EXACTLY $260. Which didn’t go to fixing roads then, either
.
At least my band can still play …. what? We have to guarantee 50 tickets at $15 to play the Viper Room? If we don’t sell them we have tp pay for them anyway? That’s a good deal… right?
.
.
Only thing keeping me sane right now is high concept serial TV drama on premium channels , because I can’t afford to do anything but sit in front of the big screen. And I don’t mean that shitty Game of Thones…POS
.
.
…. and L.A. morning weather women
.
Leslie Lopez
.
Soumada Kahn
.
Maria Quiban
.
Stephanie Simmons
.
Holly Hannula.
.
Yah! Fuck yes, all of them….!

6:04 pm July, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Try Holly again:
.
Holly Hannula

10:55 pm July, 26 hermit said...

Vinny D’s concise dissertation on California politics reminds me of the time I swallowed twelve aspirins and a quart of non-sweetened grapefruit juice while treating a mild headache. I projectile-shit blood for several days over the walls and windowshades, as I lay celibate on a urine soaked love seat, waiting for the demons to relieve the pressure as they bored a ragged hole through my stomach lining. I writhed and convulsed, tucking my bewhiskered chin between my knees like a discarded fetus tossed behind the Planned Parenthood dumpster, moaning like Demi Moore when Robert Redford ball-gagged and fucked her on his private yacht in “Indecent Disposal.”
.
I hate all forms of social media except HCwDB and a select few bestiality porn sites.

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