Monday, January 15, 2018

Gwarface



“You go to gwar with the doucheface you have, not the doucheface you might want or wish to have at a later time.”

This shminky rends the space-time continuum with Spielbergian aplomb and apoop. All is wrong in Sheboygan, said the calico cat as it upchucked a half eaten squirrel outside Decatur.

# posted by admin
5:44 am January, 16 Pfffffft said...

Not douchey enough.
Last month beat this by a mile.

5:31 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

The Gwarface Shminky poops glue sticks

5:32 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky has two sets of tonsils

5:33 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky wears MeeMaw’s support hose

5:40 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky rolled a perfect 200 in duckpins

5:41 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky had his wisdom teeth removed, through his sphincter

6:02 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky has the weather report on speed dial

6:04 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky’s doctor asked for a blood, urine and fecal sample so he handed him his boxer briefs

6:06 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky has a tennis ball sized booger collection

6:07 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky buys Rogaine by the gross at Sam’s Club

6:11 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky can pop corn with his chili farts

6:20 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky lick cleans his windshield

6:27 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky’s zaydee left him his Russian rectum brush in his will

6:28 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky has a 99¢ Store credit card

6:34 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Gwarface Shminky’s posse includes that guy that can flip his eyelids , that double jointed elbow guy, that guy that beats off with a Fleshlight© and texts it, that girl that can twist off a bottle cap under a boob all bumpin’ in his mother’s ’85 Astrovan

7:17 pm January, 17 Vin Douchal said...

And,….
.
Ass Pear

1:07 am January, 22 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Gwarface Shminky gives a new hand sign after fingerbanging Monica’s snatch-dragon.

1:13 am January, 22 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Nice ass pear, Vin. I am an ass man myself.

6:51 pm January, 22 Swigmund Freud said...

Purple wristband on the Shminky proves they are both underage and in a club that allows minors til 10pm and will have to be home by 11.
One can imagine they are a brother/sister pair who ride together in Daddies C-300. That’s the closest his tongue will get to poon in a long time.

5:02 pm February, 1 doucheequis said...

I miss The Hourglass.

3:07 am February, 7 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

After all these years I still forget to NOT CLICK JACQUES’ LINKS

10:18 am February, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! MagD, I hope you didn’t click them both.

10:20 am February, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

BTW I’ve just downed my third Manhattan cocktail and am starting to feel it. And where the fuck in the world is it 10:18 AM right now?

10:40 am February, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

For a change of pace I think it might be fun to play a game of “which of Jacques’ links should I click?”
.
I will provide our brave contestants with two choices: One is a link to the most scrumptious, stiffy-inducing ass pear it has been my pleasure to search for. The other link is…well, if my previous links are any indication…
.
So what shall it be?
.
Door #1
.
or Door #2
.
Choose wisely my friends.

5:49 pm February, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

^Because I have a background in Probability and Statistics, plus prior experience with the filthy mendacity of Jaques’ Links™ – I obviously clicked on both.
.
Door #2 may, or may not be pear. I couldn’t see clearly after Door #1.

5:50 pm February, 16 Charles Douchewin said...

Together, DB1 & DarkSock once beat the Rev at Strip Poker.
.
Everybody lost.

5:22 am February, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

All my #metoo moments are from this place.

5:44 am February, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

The 7 year itch is pretty intense is it not? Asking for a friend.

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