Monday, January 15, 2018
Gwarface
“You go to gwar with the doucheface you have, not the doucheface you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
This shminky rends the space-time continuum with Spielbergian aplomb and apoop. All is wrong in Sheboygan, said the calico cat as it upchucked a half eaten squirrel outside Decatur.
Not douchey enough.
Last month beat this by a mile.
The Gwarface Shminky poops glue sticks
Gwarface Shminky has two sets of tonsils
Gwarface Shminky wears MeeMaw’s support hose
Gwarface Shminky rolled a perfect 200 in duckpins
Gwarface Shminky had his wisdom teeth removed, through his sphincter
Gwarface Shminky has the weather report on speed dial
Gwarface Shminky’s doctor asked for a blood, urine and fecal sample so he handed him his boxer briefs
Gwarface Shminky has a tennis ball sized booger collection
Gwarface Shminky buys Rogaine by the gross at Sam’s Club
Gwarface Shminky can pop corn with his chili farts
Gwarface Shminky lick cleans his windshield
Gwarface Shminky’s zaydee left him his Russian rectum brush in his will
Gwarface Shminky has a 99¢ Store credit card
Gwarface Shminky’s posse includes that guy that can flip his eyelids , that double jointed elbow guy, that guy that beats off with a Fleshlight© and texts it, that girl that can twist off a bottle cap under a boob all bumpin’ in his mother’s ’85 Astrovan
And,….
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Ass Pear
Gwarface Shminky gives a new hand sign after fingerbanging Monica’s snatch-dragon.
Nice ass pear, Vin. I am an ass man myself.
Purple wristband on the Shminky proves they are both underage and in a club that allows minors til 10pm and will have to be home by 11.
One can imagine they are a brother/sister pair who ride together in Daddies C-300. That’s the closest his tongue will get to poon in a long time.
I miss The Hourglass.
After all these years I still forget to NOT CLICK JACQUES’ LINKS
AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! MagD, I hope you didn’t click them both.
BTW I’ve just downed my third Manhattan cocktail and am starting to feel it. And where the fuck in the world is it 10:18 AM right now?
For a change of pace I think it might be fun to play a game of “which of Jacques’ links should I click?”
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I will provide our brave contestants with two choices: One is a link to the most scrumptious, stiffy-inducing ass pear it has been my pleasure to search for. The other link is…well, if my previous links are any indication…
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So what shall it be?
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Door #1
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or Door #2
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Choose wisely my friends.
^Because I have a background in Probability and Statistics, plus prior experience with the filthy mendacity of Jaques’ Links™ – I obviously clicked on both.
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Door #2 may, or may not be pear. I couldn’t see clearly after Door #1.
Together, DB1 & DarkSock once beat the Rev at Strip Poker.
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Everybody lost.
All my #metoo moments are from this place.
The 7 year itch is pretty intense is it not? Asking for a friend.
2incarnation