Friday Haiku
Young ‘bag, still not wise.
When brunette shakes ass pear tree,
Thou must get lost, douche.
I’ve seen that buckle
on NeverEnding Story
He is the Nothing
— jonezy
Jenny strikes a pose
Next to Jason’s stiffened corpse
Models can be cruel
– Mr. White
James Earl Jones would puke.
Thulsa Doom’s snake emblem, eh?
Nothing is sacred.
– “Lesbian Thermos” Ernie Tubesock
Shapely haunches, but
no white pants past Labor Day.
You’re no Snake Pliskin.
– Bag A
Nice vegetation
By vegetation I mean
Nutritious Ass pear
– teh abominable snowdouche
When nervous, this scrote
Gets both panties and his shirt
Tied up in a bunch.
– Crucial Head
pairing looks like… Congratulation Mr. Choad’s Wild Ride. Imma let you finish. Everybody knows Crucial had the best haiku of all time.
— Mr. Choad’s Wild Ride
Terry Christ
Far be it for me to make fun of a memorial tattoo, but unless I’m reading your left pec incorrectly, was Jesus your grandfather?
So can I call you Terry? Or Mr. Christ?
That will totally get you and Holly Hott past the line at Hyde.
Blaming Dirk Benedict
I’ve noticed in the threads lately a push to blame legendary 1970s/80s TV star Dirk Benedict as one of the originators of the grand Hollywood douche plague.
This is unfair. I must object.
Anyone who starred with Willie Ames in the lost classic of the screwball caper genre, Scavenger Hunt, earns massive props.
The actor who played the original Battlestar Gallactica Starbuck as an alcoholic, cigar chomping, girl chasing, scenery chewing douchebag is not, therefore, a douchebag.
And what of Benedict’s brilliant avant-garde work using the Meisner Technique to bring out the subtleties of Faceman in The A-Team? It changed modern acting as we know it.
Dirk Benedict was not a douchebag. He just played one on TV, with great irony and self awareness. For that, he earns a lifetime nottadouche.
What has Dirk Benedict been up to lately? Here he is auditioning for Battlestar Funtopia, along with 80s douche Corbin Bernsen.
Long Island Douche Ferns
Add water, hair gel, overprized tees bought at Nordstrom and a degree from DeVry, and expect little growth for the next 40-60 years.
Dog the Booty Hunter
Yup. It’s HCwDB legend, Dog.
Liver.
Lover.
Penicillin user.
As to the lady, I can’t tell if she’s naked or wearing a small, rubber, flesh covered watermelon, so I’m going with it.
The Hardy Boy and the Case of the Bleethy Brunette
It sucks when you bust out the truly douchey “Double Ed Hardy” (coat plus tee), and your girlfriend is still able to outdouche you.
What Happens in Vegas Ends up on HCwDB
Yup, it’s creepy Eyebrowless Guy again, his sneery best bud Hal, and two cocktail waitresses they picked up by the nickel slots.
I can’t remember where the hell these two appeared on the site’s archives, so I’ll leave it up to ‘bag tagger extraordinaire Wheezer in the threads.
Alls I know is my monitor just got the lip herp from this pic. My Norton Antivirus software just filed a grievance with the labor commission.
Barf Ly
Seriously Barf Ly, you are rubbing up on Emily, a priceless tasty minx of class, quality and awesome bahonkahonks.
Is it too much to ask for a shirt?
Paws IV: The Revenge
There’s a backstory here involving fourteen javelin throwing Greco-Roman wrestlers, a time traveling chicken, six gallons of frozen Margarita Mix and a plucky South American orphan named “Javier,” who just wants to get home in time for supper.
