The "Goatee Saver"
The Flowbee for a New Generation.
The “Goatee Saver”
The Flowbee for a New Generation.
Brain Surgery Victim or Douchebag?
Time to play another round of the craze that’s sweeping the nation, Brain Surgery Victim or Douchebag?
Guess in the comments thread.
Orange Power
In an iconic protest moment on behalf of the rights of Fake Tanned Orangebags the world over, Kevin raised his Fist of Power at the 2009 Pick up Artist Games.
Ask DB1: Why Ubiquitous Red Cup?
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DB1,
Long time reader and fan. Was wondering if you could answer a deep question that has been bothering me for quite some time. What is the meaning behind the Ubiquitous Red Cup (URC)? I mean, yes, it is everywhere, but what is its purpose?
There must be some philosophical meaning to its presence, especially since we see it around douches of all colors, more so than the civilized public. Thank you for your time, and stay frosty. We can’t afford to let any of these douche bastards in here.
Matt in RVA
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Ubiquitous Red Cup has become the centralized iconic signifier in structuring our understanding of universal douche/hott.
It is a talisman signifying ideal within the abstract. Perhaps it is a bit like what Hitchcock called the “MacGuffin”. A structuring icon that helps us to bridge the specific differences and advance our larger treatise.
It’s also the sign of a slammin’ off-the-hook pool party at Kal’s while his parents are, like, out of town yo.
Friday Thoughts and Links
I have but one deep thought upon this Friday:
Rose Schlossberg’s mom may not be New York’s next senator, but someday the DB1 will charm Little Rose Hott herself into becoming my next little Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh. By seductively wooing her with takeout Chinese food and a bottle of Ernest and Julio Gallo’s finest under-$20 fortified wine.
Here’s your Friday links:
Uberdouchey corrupt former governor of Chicago, Rod Blagojevich signs a boobie. Stay classy, Rod, you douchepimple.
Douchebag Seeks Hot Chick on Dating Site
Fung We Can. Fung We Did.
Paul Janka is concentrated, bottled uberdouche. I would pay a small Malaysian orphan boy 20 Yuan and a digital watch to kick him in the nads and then run off quickly.
Go forth, friends. Go forth and celebrate the Boobie Suckle Thigh and the forces of non-douche that fight the good fight. For it is Friday.
(Oompa Prompa trading card designed by HCwDB’s own Jean Claude Van Douche)
The Nothing Up My Sleeve 'Bag
Sometimes Oldbags can achieve a state of pure zen-douche simply through whether or not they decide to rip off their sleeves to show off the guns.
And yes, Milfy Sharon. You may be a bank manager by day. But by night, you are naughty.
EDIT: A few minutes later, out came the flex poses. And a new girl in a red dress??
The Nothing Up My Sleeve ‘Bag
Sometimes Oldbags can achieve a state of pure zen-douche simply through whether or not they decide to rip off their sleeves to show off the guns.
And yes, Milfy Sharon. You may be a bank manager by day. But by night, you are naughty.
EDIT: A few minutes later, out came the flex poses. And a new girl in a red dress??
Mickey Rourke Redeems Career With Powerhouse Acting Performance: Still a Huge Douchebucket
It had to be said.
EDIT: And to respond to repeated emails asking me if I had anything to do with last night’s episode of Supernatural, called “Criss Angel is a Douchebag,” the answer is no. Hollywood now seems to feel directly stealing ideas and written content is fine, so long as it’s on a website, apparently.
Sin City, Connecticut
Ryan writes in with a ‘bag tag from Waterbury, CT:
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DB1-
The best part about this photo is they are at a bar called “Sin City” (which is better known as “suck city”) which is actually located in Waterbury CT, a sh@thole of a city with the dirtiest people in the country.
Why does this bar suck? because the people who go there suck and stand infront of a banner as if they mattered to promote the mutual suck of themselves and the bar.
– Ryan
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Well argued, almost tautological logic there, Ryan. But how much could the city suck if those two Brunette drinks of water are willing to live there? Looking sweet-hott and all sorts of corruptable? And, uh, cohabiting with the Ed Hardy Boys…
Hmm. I see your point.
