Thursday, June 2, 2011
Yamo Been There
I’m going full nottadouche and goinpeace for our Jamaican rasta-bro who likes to butt grind Most Expensive First Date Hotts on the dance floor.
Yamo’s Fu Manchu, dreads, tatt and stupid pants just don’t rankle, and feel aesthetically consistent for a brothabag to get away with.
So here’s your notta Yamo.
And I see what you see.
Bethany’s Mayan Eye of Coitus is both crotch-melting and bank account draining in all the most potent ways.
A Michael McDonald reference, ok. I also give a Notta but he’s not even close to being a Rasta with real dreads. Seeing that Jamaican music always seems to put me in a good mood I share this with you. Check out when Jimmy Cliff’s “Ivan” has his Ah hah Moment. Toots & the Maytals are the shit. Son!!1
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Seriously? Not a douche? I respectfully, yet totally disagree, boss. While his demeanor seems pleasant, and he has the fat guy from Jackass looking over his shoulder, this dude is a douche. Incredibly manicured facial hair, incredibly poseurish head hair (if it’s for some jamaican religeous deal, okay, I’ll give him a pass on it), otherwise, douche, jeans torn by 9-year old Chinese factory workers to look oh so vintage and cool, sweatband worn while not playing sports (I mean is he afraid his hand will get too sweaty to hold that drink? WTF?), and arm tattoo, mark this choad as auto douche.
I liked her better when her hair was red. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0qy3JHz6X0. And boner.
In the back corner is that John Largemans long lost Asian cousin Huang Largeming? I could be wrong.
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Bethany looks naughty but agreed with DB1 account draining expensive first date.
Bethany’s not the only one that can rock a pink dress (don’t know if she has a snaggle tooth )
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Don’t know which one these chicks I’ve the heat for more, Kara or Jewel
That’s not Yamo from Jamaica, that’s Ernie the Jiffy Lube guy from Cleveland.
I, too, respectfully refudiate (lol) the Notta call based solely on those jeans. Sure the shredding is as artful as plastic mozzarella stacked on ham’n’pineapple pizza… But they’re sitting as low as Sarah Palin’s small-town back dealings, which even when observed from the Southern Hemisphere, appear quite low.
Douche!
Risk/Reward: Jewell- excellent body, she could sing to you, and probably wouldn’t expect too much, but serious scrote damage risk during oral. Kara- Excellent body, take charge/can do attitude, and always well presented, but she may need a fresh coat of paint and osme rustproofing. All in all, I would rail Jewell back to Alaska and live in an igloo and eat nothing but Narwhale and her poon.
Rasta: Notta, but stay the fuck away from my daughter until you get a haircut and a shower.
those are fake dreds. he is a douche just for that alone. A real rasta would machete his dome off.
If that is a brotha wearin dread extensions- that would be douchiest move in history, edging out Benito “il douche” Mussolini, for not only being a pussy, but a fake pussy.
Side note: Why does the italian navy have glass bottom boats?
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*So they can see the old Italian Navy…
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too soon?
Stupid tatt. Stupid facial hair. Stupid pants. Stupid wristband. Stupid black (!) puka shell necklace. He’s a douchebag.
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And that is more like Bethany’s Mayan Eye of Cocaine. She’s about two drinks away from passing out.
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Next.
shit that was funny Et Tu D.
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Is anyone bookmarking Largeman sighting this year? Surely we need a Yearly category for his watchful, observant eyes. Always there, no matter what country or what venue. Watching….
@Jonezy
I’m keeping score or at least trying too. Here is his euro cousin
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/03/jan-larggman-watches/
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
you know, I’ve kind of always wondered if maybe John Largeman had a daughter, Janet, pensively waiting in the midst of our favorite Everybag, Ricky:
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/12/douchiest-everybag-ricky/
also, John Largeman’s wife…
Wow Jonezy- Mrs Largeman reminds me of Meatwad from Aquateen Hunger Force…
http://media.photobucket.com/image/meatwad/sk8erLG/meatwad.gif
I don’t know if she’s that expensive, boss. I think you were fooled by the bedazzled shoulder bling. When I think expensive, I mean a pending bankruptcy in high heals, I expect a slinky black dress (no bubble-gum pink!), a bit more precious metal around the wrists and neck, and champagne in place of whatever the hell that is she is drinking.
@Jonezy
I’m convinced John Largeman has a somewhat hot chick maybe wife. Nothing like what you posted.
I agree with (Run) DMC- a bedazzled dress from Ross’s and a Smirnoff Cosmo may give the allure of high class, but from the looks of surroundings/other females, she is probably getting groped at the waiting area of a Red Lobster. Her machine washable dress will look good with butter and jizz stains, balled up in a clothes hamper on top of this guys dreads.
This guy doesn’t fool me with his receding hairline dreads. I agree with Southern Scrotic, he’s from Cleveland and the closest he’s been to Jamaica was that time he drove to Cincinnati to pick up a case of bearing grease for the Jiffy Lube.
He ain’t Rasta, doesn’t smoke enough ganja. Our own irreverent Reverend Chad could bong-hit him under the table.
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And by bong-hit him, I mean hit him in the head with a table leg til it goes “bong” and steal his weed.
Notta, even though his dreads probably smell like Chewbacca.
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He needs dread deoderizer.
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http://www.knottyboy.com/shop/product/natural_mistic_lock_deodorizer_fragrance_spray/
John Largeman can detach his asshole and flick it like a throwing star.
John Largeman can make waffles with his ass crack, once fingerbanged Yeardly Smith and can sprint 340 yards underwater.
John Largeman tipped a waitress in Vegas once with a human head.
I’m gonna go with douche on this one for the reasons Bflak listed above. And I shall call him Billy Dee Marley. And she’s probably $100 tops. More if you want anything extra.
John Largeman closes his eyes when he drives through tunnels.
John Largeman can stamp hubcaps for a ’87 Buick with his forehead.
John Largeman can reproduce bird whistles with his foreskin.
John Largeman uses kerosene and floor wax for salad dressing.
John Largeman eats dried prunes and shits out tire tubes.
John Largeman seduces troubled teenage girls by vibrating his chin against a paper towel tube.
John Largeman’s penis was retired yesterday after it’s final re-entry,
John Largeman skateboards on the Texas panhandle.
John Largeman uses his razor to skim toxic waste of his ocean.
John Largeman knows the truth behind the stain in the pink panties that Sarah Palin gave Geddy Lee backstage.
This’d make a great Pepto Bismol ad,
He gets no Cultural Leniency Pass (CLP) from this ‘bag hunter just because he’s a brotha’. He’s displaying several adouchements, and if indeed he’s wearing hair extensions that might qualify him as one of the worst douches ever. nopassforyou
this gal crushes scull with her thighs
John Largeman downloads cholesterol from iTunes.
Hipster dreadful.
John Largeman read this article with great interest.
John Largeman sprinkles stool softener on his poached eggs.
John Largeman eats doughnuts with a coal shovel.
John Largeman was a blind gospel singer and slide-guitarist who played in black churches and juke joints in northern Louisiana and Arkansas until 1978 when his vision was restored after his spleen erupted.
Fake dreads. Douche.
I just noticed I have the same belt he does. I’m going to have to do something about that.
John Largeman knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
That’s not Yamo from Jamaica, that’s Dwayne the guy who installed my cabinets. He’s really a very good carpenter.
I was not able to read the whole thread, but autodouche = Milli Vanilli lookalike.
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My apologies if someone already made the observation.